New answers tagged

1

I agree with nick0120000 that your son needs professional help. Generally speaking, he needs a perspective for his future. And I think it would help him to meet other people who have had serious injuries like his and have already been able to build up a new life. In Germany, where I live, there is a mandatory insurance for all employees in case of work ...


4

Talk to a mental health specialist. Random people online aren't qualified to provide mental health counselling. Your son needs to see a proper mental health specialist to get the treatment he needs for his suicidal ideation and his burgeoning drug addiction. Hopefully, fixing the former will also fix the latter, but you need the help of a qualified ...


0

I would invite you too look a bit deeper, why does your parent do this? Why does it matter? What does it mean in terms of your choices and identity? What is a preference and should you have a right too one? Why when and how should your parent tell you what too do? What is their authority based on, and does it exist in the first place? What is authority and ...


0

I've given driving lessons to my grandkids in completely empty parking lots. When they first get behind the wheel, any practice helps develop their skills. Perhaps after they can navigate a parking lot competently, you might find a little-populated street and highway to practice on.


0

Prelude Given what it means to grow up (try things out and find your own way of doing things) and how societies make progress (mostly by old people dying and younger people doing things differently) and how groups like a clique of friends, a subculture, a generation etc. establish an identity (namely through noticeable differences in appearance, behavior and ...


1

My mom dislikes my hairstyle, is this normal? Not only normal, but apparently necessary in most families and societies. The real, evolutionary, reason is that between the ages of 10 and 20, children gradually separate from their parents, and this process involves finding points of disagreement between parents and children, as children assert their own ...


1

Firstly, I'd just like to say that you handled your thoughts maturely and are approaching this parenting subject with curiosity and a questioning mindset. I like to think of myself as chaotic neutral, so part of me wants to say shave your head and see if she still asks you to comb your hair. As a parent myself, I think a level of independence and self-...


0

Pay for driving lessons. Over here across the Tasman in Australia, it's entirely possible to hire professional driving instructors that have cars that have been modified with a second set of pedals, to allow the instructor to hit the brakes in an emergency. I would not be at all surprised if similar services were available in New Zealand. You'd just book an ...


-1

By constantly complaining about your looks (or other irrelevant things), it seems to me that your mother might sees you as an extension of her own ego and/or is trying to keep you down. This behavior can often be seen in narcissistic parents. You might want to look into this topic and make sure that this is not the case. If you find more evidence that your ...


-4

Listen to your mother. Untidy hair is highly unprofessional. If you want to get a white-collar job in an office, learning how to properly groom yourself is an extremely important skill for you to learn, and even if you're aiming for a blue-collar job working a trade, the best-earning jobs involve you running your own business, and you need to look suitably ...


8

I agree with j4nd3r53n on the plausible motivation for parents to want their children to have some particular kind of hairstyle. There is, however, a potentially better resolution than to "shrug your shoulders" or "fight back". Namely, you can try to directly address and eliminate the real source of conflict. This would entail having a ...


32

I don't agree with Joe, when he says it is the job of parents to set boundaries; it is too narrow. Good parents strive to equip their children with good life-skills that help them make the good choices, which will make them happy. I'm a grandparent BTW, so I've perhaps learned a broader perspective, now that my own children have grown up, largely ignoring my ...


9

You could analyze this with the tools in Desmond Morris's The Naked Ape. Here's an oversimplification: Young people form a sub-tribe and therefore need to distinguish themselves visually from those outside the sub-tribe. And the parent wants the young person to visually belong to the general tribe.


25

If I were answering this question to your mother, who asked what she should do with her son who wears his hair messy, I would say: It is a parent’s job to set boundaries for their children. Those boundaries tell their children what is okay or not okay, for various reasons, to keep them safe and to give them the best chance to succeed in life. It’s important ...


1

Driving in a city can be stressful. There are a lot of things to consider and watch and avoid and that doesn't account for navigation. I would suggest trying to build skills without as much risk and take it in steps. Take them to a deserted parking lot for super basics. Take them out of the city for basic road skills. Have them drive a short route that they ...


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