Step 1: Accept Them; Step 2: Never Stop
This may not be what you want to hear, but the best way to 'deal' with this is to actually be accepting.
I want to preface this with something you said early on in the wall of text:
my only problem is when they try to force it on me like oh you MUST accept the gay community and you're homophobic if you don't and ...
This is kind of a role play.
I remember that I and my friends often played like this in secondary school and still at the teacher training college. But not with the parents.
Maybe that your role is rather a to be a friend than the mother.