61

Let's recap the question from a more objective viewpoint... as right now the premise for the actions which have been taken seem to be incorrect (at best.) The boy has been behaving well academically which rightly deserves to be rewarded. He installed malware on his computer in an attempt to install video games, then denied doing so when confronted. It ...


59

First, setting some baselines. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limited, but not zero, screen time for most children above 2. Under 2, and in particular under 18 months, no screen time other than video chat (Facetime/Skype/etc.). For children younger than 18 months, avoid use of screen media other than video-chatting. Parents of children 18 ...


36

From a more general angle. We allow kids in the family to use tablets, but of course this is under supervision. There is a dedicated docking station where the tablets are. Tablets must be used within the room where the docking station is located. Tablets must be returned to the dock when they are not in use. Exceptions are made, and are considered ...


25

Beofett's answer is excellent, but I would like to add a few personal observations which were too long for a comment. Youtube, specifically, can be very hard to control. Our toddler (3.5 years) does get to watch stuff there, but you have to be vigilant. Examples: Looking at toys helicopters, easily browsed to real helicopters, then to some wartime reporting ...


16

There is this German psychiatrist, Prof. Manfred Spitzer, who aggregates research with regards to children and digital device usage, and, inspired by the findings, has written a book of how, he claims, smart phone usage "makes children dumb" (by negatively impacting the developing brain). His angle is basically that, during developmental phase (and he means ...


16

What should you do? Nothing, you are not the parent, you just gave a gift that was deemed appropriate by the parents. You wrote yourself that you didn't have a Nintendo when you were little but all your friends had one. Now imagine him not being able to play "Pokemon GO" while all his friends can play it. I think it is the responsibility of the parents to ...


15

On the other hand ... I was making my living as a freelance graphic designer when my children were small (way pre-iPad), and was constantly reading warnings against letting children spend too much time on the computer. I read to them a great deal, and did other activities with them as a "stay-at-home mom." But since I was actually making my living at home, a ...


14

Unless you restrict her access to objects that can reach the internet, you are fighting a losing battle. At this point of our technological development, keeping her from creating a second account without 24h surveillance is about as possible as keeping her from buying magazines you might be opposed to. So, what can you do instead? Keep educating her. Few ...


12

If tomorrow I "soften up" and allow him limited use of the IPAD (for use only in class...), am I undermining my parental authority? No, it's my belief that you are strengthening it. You are modeling how adults behave when they realize they've made a mistake. As people under the authority of others (our bosses, our police, etc.), we hope for wisdom and ...


12

Most of the answers here appear to be about screen time, but it's also important to remember that YouTube is not designed to be a safe space for a child. For example, my son likes to watch Minecraft videos. Very often these have a very unsuitable adult voiceover, plus optional heavy metal soundtrack. Do you want some random teenager swearing and talking ...


10

My children (8 and 6) were recently given a tablet by my in-laws. We (the parents) keep possession of it, and let them use it under our supervision as an occasional treat, or for educational activities. Just because it belongs to them does not mean that they get to have it under their complete and unsupervised control. As others have suggested, this is ...


9

I noticed some of the same changes in my son when he discovered the world of on-line community. Rudeness and inappropriate language is standard issue, and his on-line communication style morphs to match whoever he is interacting with. This is quite normal, I think. Kids want to fit in. They want to identify with their peers and be accepted by them, and, ...


8

She is a teenager and will, probably keep creating multiple accounts or do anything to lose that feeling of oversight. it is exactly this feeling, puberty tries to fight. it wants autonomy and self-control. I agree with @Layna. My suggestion would be to stop the oversight and turn it 180 around: tell her that you want to know what is going on but it's her ...


7

You should make use of the tablet's child restrictions features to help your child control himself until he demonstrates the maturity to have more permissions. I would suggest to make yourself the administrator of the tablet. The child should not have permissions to install apps, and only be able to use limited apps. This way, you can control how much time ...


6

At this point, the tablet has been confiscated and is controlled by your father. There's not really such a thing as "ungifting" something and since you are not the custodian of your little brother, you can't really take the device away from him either. Your father can, and he did. If you want the tablet back in your own possession (for a refund, perhaps?), ...


5

It's not that technology itself is bad for children, but, if not content-regulated, it can serve inappropriate content (think 4chan) and, if not time-regulated, it can take time away from learning other important skills. Technology can also serve up stuff that's...not so useful to a child's development, if not necessarily completely unsuitable (think video-...


4

I would suggest that you ask the school how much of an issue it is that he not have his iPad for a week. They may say it is a problem, they may not. But either way, you have more of an "informed" basis for whether you decide to relent or not. It will also be less of a "softening" than of new information changing your decision "I spoke to your teacher and ...


4

There is nothing inherently wrong about technology. We use it all the time, for all sorts of reason. Problems can come when interactions with technology (call it TV, Internet, or whatever) when they trigger something else, and children are particularly vulnerable against some of them, for instance: Addiction: some people develop issues related to dependency ...


3

The official recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics is: Limit entertainment screen time to less than one or two hours per day; in children under 2, discourage screen media exposure. "Entertainment screen time" is computers, tablets, phones, TV, etc.


3

Play with your kid, read good book for him, talk with him, teach him! The first thing we did while planning kids - we've thrown TV away. At all. We don't have a similar device at home. My daughter (5 yrs now) watches cartoons and programs that I choose for 15-30 minutes per day WITH ME on the screen using my laptop and projector. We speak about what we are ...


3

This is really simple: kids and animals will mess things up or break them. That's life. If it's a gift to him, it's his to break. None of you should get attached to the tablet or anyone else's gift for that matter. As a separate matter of usage, with my 8yo, she gets tablet time if chores are done, homework etc. It's not in her possession otherwise. It comes ...


2

I don't know of an app that will do exactly what you want, but you could take a standard learning app, set a timer when he starts, and not tell him how to exit the app. Once he has played with the app for a while and gets bored, you can exit it for him, set a timer for the appropriate amount of time, and let him watch netflix or play games. You could do ...


2

I agree with the other answers. You're not undermining your parental authority. He lost his iPad in the short term and the drama and tantrum didn't bring it back immediately. Let him know that the most effective behaviour is calm acceptance of his punishment and that you will always try to be fair and rectify your mistakes, as he should his. The only thing ...


2

Screen time before bed is a very bad idea. It will impair sleep, for adults and children. There are a ton of resources about this online, here is just one: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5390665/ I would want to see a lot of good research before believing that a screen is effective at teaching a preschooler anything. If you need to use a ...


2

Technically the simplest thing is to disable internet on the tablet. You can do this easily: wireless networks normally require the password, GSM networks require SIM card that can be removed. This is reliable, even professional software engineer cannot connect the protected wireless network without knowing the password. Before doing this, I would suggest ...


2

other than enforcing what is probably a disproportionate punishment and consequence I don't think the consequences are disproportionate. You warned your son that he needs to stop or he would have to go without his tablet for a week. He didn't stop. Now he has to do without it for a week. A week isn't that long. Not watching videos for 7 days is not going ...


2

Your question starts from an incorrect premise: You blame the technology. The problem isn't the iPhone, or the TV, or the popular device of the day. The problem is leaving little kids with the things unsupervised and unlimited. Unsupervised means the parents aren't paying attention to the kids. Unlimited means the kids sit and stare at the device for ...


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