130
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her.
However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. ...
- 69.8k
65
votes
Accepted
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]?
You are in a tricky situation. It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend and Emily over this issue ...
- 6,563
56
votes
My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter
Kids love their parents. This is true the vast majority of the time, even when the parent is abusive and manipulative to an extraordinary degree. Therefore it is extremely difficult to form a close ...
- 3,213
43
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
This is a fantastic question. You are wonderful for your level of consideration given a perplexing situation here.
The Problem: I used to be Emily. It's over 25 years later, and this thing just ...
- 447
37
votes
My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter
I have some experience in this area. About 10 years ago I married my wife, whose children were teenagers at the time. A lot of the tension from her divorce was dissolved rather quickly, and there is a ...
- 470
34
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
so I decided to just work through it with him
Children are not miniature adults. Their brains literally do not work the same way. They're no more capable of reasoning in the same way as an adult ...
- 3,005
33
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Warning
harsh answer, not because I don't support transgender people, but because of your position in the family and how you act in this situation
step-daughter ... my girlfriend
I assume you mean ...
- 363
16
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Most of what you should be doing is talking the mother down. Help her realize that while this is a shock and unexpected, it's far from the worst-case a parent can go through (her child is healthy and ...
- 1,008
15
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Sometimes this site can be very liberal. It makes me afraid to post an answer like this, but here we go anyway.
You have two serious problems. None of which are your step-son/daughter. The first is ...
- 2,572
15
votes
My son calls my father in law Grandpa "nonno" (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno
I think you should tell your son to call his grandpa whatever he is comfortable calling his grandpa unless his grandpa asks him to call him something else. You're not overreacting and I think you are ...
- 13.4k
15
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
After some calm discussion, he admitted that he preferred to lie to
tell us what he thought we wanted to hear (I'm a good boy, I've done
all my jobs, I've made an effort like you asked) so that we ...
- 251
13
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
A simple answer for "bullies outside the house" which applies for all bullied children: get them to a martial arts class. Personally I'd favour jiu jitsu, but pretty much anything will do the trick.
...
- 3,005
13
votes
Should I babysit my step granddaughter?
If it were me -- (and there are only going to be opinions, no 'answer'), I would take the opportunity to be positive and loving. Show this baby who you really are and teach her to appreciate her ...
- 17.5k
13
votes
My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter
Perhaps he is trying too hard? What does he mean by “getting close”? It is normal at her age to be a bit off from the man of the house. I don’t know her age but I would guess she’s a teenager.
The ...
- 280
13
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
Not a psychologist, but I have noticed with my FIL (who I think it's fair to say could be verbally abusive with his kids, wife, grandkids, and occasionally even me.) that a typical MO would be to ...
- 2,970
11
votes
How and when should I tell my son that his amazing father isn't his biological father?
My situation was very similar to yours. My husband and I filed natural paternity since neither of the boys legally had a father at birth, and the courts gave them his last name and amended their SSN's ...
- 111
11
votes
How do I tell my 9-year-old son that my now ex husband is not his biological dad?
This is a tough situation and a tough question. You have a lot to think about. The question I, in return, pose to you is what do you have to gain by either telling him or not telling him? When you ...
- 13.4k
10
votes
What is the appropriate age to tell my daughter that her biological father doesn't want to be a part of her life?
I think it was wrong on your part to convince your daughter that her biological father loves her but is unable to visit. Even if you had to tell her a lie, it would have been better to say that you ...
- 1,442
10
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
It is, even for adults, often very difficult to figure out why a certain thing was done - especially related to talking, which by its nature is something that happens quickly, usually without much ...
- 2,810
10
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
He probably doesn't know himself yet.
Before your step-son can bond with you, he needs to trust you. And building a trust ...
- 1,067
8
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Whatever else you may do, find a good trans-friendly therapist for your daughter to help her acquire tools to cope with the stressors in her life, being mindful that all therapy is family therapy and ...
8
votes
Should I babysit my step granddaughter?
Honestly, I think you should do all you can to babysit regardless of what they call you. You yourself can prove that you are more than a babysitter and to children they don't care about names, they ...
- 2,080
8
votes
I'm a step father, I don't have any children of my own, how do I deal with a teen boy that acts extremely feminine?
Let me start with a small anecdote. I am going to tell you about a young man I like a lot. When I met him, he was in his early twenties, six foot something, heavy built and with hands like the ...
- 18.2k
8
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
If I were you, I would concentrate on my own behavior, not on his.
I agree with Philipp that trust is the key point here. So far, your stepson has learned to survive in a hostile, perhaps violent ...
- 267
7
votes
Accepted
What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?
When I was about 12 years old, I faced a similar situation with my mother and her smoking in the house. My mother is a very stubborn woman, but loves her kids. We were learning about the dangers of ...
- 1,077
7
votes
Accepted
8-year-old stepchild pulling away from his father
There are two parts to this, what you can do with your stepson and what you can do with his father.
With Your Stepson
First, I would explain to him (like you have been doing) that his biological ...
- 13.3k
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