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129 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her. However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
65 votes
Accepted

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]? You are in a tricky situation. It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend and Emily over this issue ...
Adam Davis's user avatar
  • 6,563
56 votes

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

Kids love their parents. This is true the vast majority of the time, even when the parent is abusive and manipulative to an extraordinary degree. Therefore it is extremely difficult to form a close ...
MAA's user avatar
  • 3,213
43 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

This is a fantastic question. You are wonderful for your level of consideration given a perplexing situation here. The Problem: I used to be Emily. It's over 25 years later, and this thing just ...
Alice D.'s user avatar
  • 447
37 votes

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

I have some experience in this area. About 10 years ago I married my wife, whose children were teenagers at the time. A lot of the tension from her divorce was dissolved rather quickly, and there is a ...
Ben Harrison's user avatar
33 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Warning harsh answer, not because I don't support transgender people, but because of your position in the family and how you act in this situation step-daughter ... my girlfriend I assume you mean ...
Dennis's user avatar
  • 363
33 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

so I decided to just work through it with him Children are not miniature adults. Their brains literally do not work the same way. They're no more capable of reasoning in the same way as an adult ...
Graham's user avatar
  • 2,995
16 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Most of what you should be doing is talking the mother down. Help her realize that while this is a shock and unexpected, it's far from the worst-case a parent can go through (her child is healthy and ...
McCann's user avatar
  • 998
15 votes

My son calls my father in law Grandpa "nonno" (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

I think you should tell your son to call his grandpa whatever he is comfortable calling his grandpa unless his grandpa asks him to call him something else. You're not overreacting and I think you are ...
SomeShinyObject's user avatar
15 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

After some calm discussion, he admitted that he preferred to lie to tell us what he thought we wanted to hear (I'm a good boy, I've done all my jobs, I've made an effort like you asked) so that we ...
Christian's user avatar
  • 251
14 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Sometimes this site can be very liberal. It makes me afraid to post an answer like this, but here we go anyway. You have two serious problems. None of which are your step-son/daughter. The first is ...
coteyr's user avatar
  • 2,612
13 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

A simple answer for "bullies outside the house" which applies for all bullied children: get them to a martial arts class. Personally I'd favour jiu jitsu, but pretty much anything will do the trick. ...
Graham's user avatar
  • 2,995
13 votes

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

If it were me -- (and there are only going to be opinions, no 'answer'), I would take the opportunity to be positive and loving. Show this baby who you really are and teach her to appreciate her ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
13 votes

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

Perhaps he is trying too hard? What does he mean by “getting close”? It is normal at her age to be a bit off from the man of the house. I don’t know her age but I would guess she’s a teenager. The ...
Erick Audet's user avatar
13 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

Not a psychologist, but I have noticed with my FIL (who I think it's fair to say could be verbally abusive with his kids, wife, grandkids, and occasionally even me.) that a typical MO would be to ...
T.E.D.'s user avatar
  • 2,980
11 votes

How and when should I tell my son that his amazing father isn't his biological father?

My situation was very similar to yours. My husband and I filed natural paternity since neither of the boys legally had a father at birth, and the courts gave them his last name and amended their SSN's ...
Melody's user avatar
  • 111
11 votes

How do I tell my 9-year-old son that my now ex husband is not his biological dad?

This is a tough situation and a tough question. You have a lot to think about. The question I, in return, pose to you is what do you have to gain by either telling him or not telling him? When you ...
SomeShinyObject's user avatar
10 votes

What is the appropriate age to tell my daughter that her biological father doesn't want to be a part of her life?

I think it was wrong on your part to convince your daughter that her biological father loves her but is unable to visit. Even if you had to tell her a lie, it would have been better to say that you ...
svj's user avatar
  • 1,442
10 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

It is, even for adults, often very difficult to figure out why a certain thing was done - especially related to talking, which by its nature is something that happens quickly, usually without much ...
AnoE's user avatar
  • 2,800
10 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me? He probably doesn't know himself yet. Before your step-son can bond with you, he needs to trust you. And building a trust ...
Philipp's user avatar
  • 1,067
8 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Whatever else you may do, find a good trans-friendly therapist for your daughter to help her acquire tools to cope with the stressors in her life, being mindful that all therapy is family therapy and ...
MickeyfAgain_BeforeExitOfSO's user avatar
8 votes

How to stop a (seven-year-old) child from constantly making silly, nonsensical noises and actions?

Have you considered he might have Gilles de la Tourette Syndrome? (And even if he doesn't, this answer might help someone else who finds this question.) I do have it - let me explain what it is: A ...
Kitalda's user avatar
  • 441
8 votes

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

Honestly, I think you should do all you can to babysit regardless of what they call you. You yourself can prove that you are more than a babysitter and to children they don't care about names, they ...
Bugs's user avatar
  • 2,080
8 votes

I'm a step father, I don't have any children of my own, how do I deal with a teen boy that acts extremely feminine?

Let me start with a small anecdote. I am going to tell you about a young man I like a lot. When I met him, he was in his early twenties, six foot something, heavy built and with hands like the ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
8 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

If I were you, I would concentrate on my own behavior, not on his. I agree with Philipp that trust is the key point here. So far, your stepson has learned to survive in a hostile, perhaps violent ...
sisee's user avatar
  • 277
7 votes
Accepted

How to stop a (seven-year-old) child from constantly making silly, nonsensical noises and actions?

I always try talking it out, first. Just sit down, perhaps with the child's other dad/parents and discuss it as a team -- if that is possible. Explain, using non-inflammatory language, why this ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
7 votes
Accepted

What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?

When I was about 12 years old, I faced a similar situation with my mother and her smoking in the house. My mother is a very stubborn woman, but loves her kids. We were learning about the dangers of ...
jcmack's user avatar
  • 1,067
7 votes
Accepted

How should we support 16 year old step sister who ran away from home

How can we, as outsiders, tell how much emotional abuse is "too much", to the point where it's beneficial for a teenager to be removed from their parents? ...What factors should be considered when ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar

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