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76

Disclaimer: I'm not a parent so I can't speak from personal experience. Also, there seem to be several issues, but the main one is how to talk to her about her weight, so I will cover only that with some, hopefully, helpful suggestions. 1) Don't focus on her weight As you described pretty vividly, it just doesn't work. But she is also not obese - so I ...


59

Your daughter is 16 years old. While you're right that she's "under [y]our roof and so [y]our rules", that's not going to last forever; presumably she'll be moving out to go to college (or something else) soon. At this point, your role as a parent is less about setting rules and more about helping her learn things. That's not to say rules don't need to ...


38

How about trampolining? It's very similar to gymnastics so he can probably use many of the skills he's picked up there. It involves lots of bouncing up and falling back down again as well as moves which involve falling on the front or back. Also a good variation on swimming that might appeal more to his love of falling down is diving. He can do this from ...


37

To me, this sounds like much ado about nothing. Your son needs to learn how to socialize and how to make friends; sounds like he's done that already, so that's not your problem. So what is your problem? The fact that some kids aren't coming to a birthday party? Sounds like a good opportunity for a conversation with your son about the real world. ...


31

I would recommend without hesitation Judo. Not only would he fall often, he would learn to fall properly.


25

I started running with my dad and he did usually do some warm up with me and then run around the block with me. When we were back again I got a glass of water and a sandwich, while he went out again running his real training. I think just spending time with her, and telling her that you enjoy running with her is a good start at her age.


22

Lose weight yourself. I don't mean that flippantly, there are studies showing that when people around you lose weight, especially close family members, then you are more likely to lose weight without specifically trying. It is called the ripple effect. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.22098 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/...


21

I checked with my girlfriend, who is a baby-wearing consultant, and she says running with a baby in a baby-backpack or sling is a bad idea. Babies do not have the muscular strength to absorb the impact shocks from running and it can cause them serious injury, no matter how tightly you wrap the baby up. While walking long distance is fine and older ...


21

Just for reference: the BMI is 28.3 (72.5 kg, divided by 1.6 m squared), which you may want to edit into your question. This is close to the 95th percentile for 16 year old girls, which was about 29 in 2000 (and is likely higher nowadays). She is definitely overweight; obesity is defined to start at the 95th percentile for children and young adults....


21

Since many of the answers on here are stuff like "be open and understanding", I'll offer a... gruffer... perspective. At 16, and especially if she has an attitude like the one you describe, there's nothing you can do, really. There are many cases where people just have to learn things the hard way, and that's especially true with most children and teenagers. ...


18

Speaking as a former teen-aged geek, here's a few things that have worked for (and on me - thanks Mom and Dad! :) ) Organized sports are kinda hit-and-miss for a geek (esp. if it's not their interest). Teen years are rough to start with. And some people don't get "runner's high", so they lose the reinforcement that keeps some of those solo sports going. ...


18

Diving is all about falling with style. If he finds the activities you listed boring, I suspect that he will enjoy the adrenaline rush from the height.


16

If you DO make an issue out of it, what will be the result? Will the other 10 families start to consider everyone else in their priorities and scheduling, or will they apologize and keep right on with what they're doing? It's apparent they feel that having their children participate in soccer is a higher priority than having their children participate in ...


13

There are a few things we consider when kids are pushing to do certain activities. My daughter has taken ballet for years, and will be starting pre-pointe lessons soon. This sounds less frightening than motocross, but there are risks of both short-term injury and long-term foot structure damage if she doesn't practice, wear properly fitted shoes, and listen ...


13

It may have a poor cultural connection where ever you are, but no one has yet suggested: skateboarding. Not scootering or some other watered down variation, but the unforgiving plank with wheels. It's creative, very difficult and takes an exceptionally phenomenal amount of physical fitness[1] as well as technicality, balance and precision. Moreover all it ...


12

I think it's important to push your kids. I also think it's important not to push too hard. Balance in all things. Encourage her. Play with her yourself and make sure she enjoys it. When she agrees, then sign her up. Make sure she understands that she'll have to stay with it for at least some period of time -- it's a lot more fun once you've gotten ...


11

Have you considered Capoeira? It's a cross between dance and martial arts that involves quite a bit of playful acrobatics and falling. Here are a couple samples from YouTube, which give a flavor of the sport: Adult Performance and Children's Competition. Your son is blessed to have a dad who looks for an activity in which he can express who he is!


11

I was that girl once - I was 14 and hated PE. I absolutely HATED it. I was a late-bloomer, and I didn't start puberty until 13, and I was embarrassed about my body. Also my hips changed shape and it took a while to get used to them; I grew really tall and I fell down a lot, and was just generally quite awkward. I had very little athletic endurance. I couldn'...


11

I would try to set her up with a "running bike". Here in Germany kids get these when they really are toddlers (around 2 or so). It's a small 2 wheel bike, with no pedals, and with the seat low enough that they essentially "run" while sitting on the bike. Here are some examples: https://www.puky.de/de/red/laufraeder They naturally learn the balance ...


11

I will speak from personal experience growing up with a mother who was completely convinced that I was overweight. Lead by example, not fear My mother, who always insisted on calling out my weight throughout my life, was overweight too. She nagged me endlessly about my weight, but never could get her weight under control. This just seems like the pot ...


9

When I taught preschool, Kids Yoga was one activity the preschool did with all the age levels to help them tune in to themselves for more body awareness and stress release. By four, some of the kids started participating in team sports, but for many of their parents it was long Saturdays for very little positive impact as they often complained their kids ...


9

This sort of thing is really common. My 8 year old has been training at half marathon distance (walking, jogging and running) for 6 months now. Her idea - she's raising money for a charity helping one of her friends. My eldest two have been doing triathlons since the age of 9 or so, and again, all their own idea. They were given the option of full training ...


9

We started to limit what we cook and what we put on the table in order to limit the amount of food she eats. This is a really really bad idea. If you limit snacks, that's one thing, but if you make a healthy dinner and she is so hungry she wants more, you can't deprive her of that! She's a teen, she is supposed to be eating more than an adult her size ...


8

There are really two separate problems here. Problem 1: Your daughter doesn't want to do PE. If this were the only problem, then the solution would be pretty straightforward. She's at an age where it's impractical to physically force her to do things, but she doesn't yet have adult judgment, social skills, or problem-solving skills. Your role would be to ...


8

I agree completely with both previous answers; I do have a little bit to add, though. My daughter has this bizarre notion that 'pretty' women should always win. I have no idea how to dispel this misconception of hers. This is a very destructive idea. Hopefully it will go away soon, but it doesn't hurt to work on it. Pretty is pretty, and nothing else. ...


8

Stop bugging her about this and just try to enjoy time as a family. My dad ruined my self confidence and body image when I was a teenager and just slightly overweight. This led to stubbornness on my part, a very destructive home atmosphere with me wanting to avoid my dad, and long term did nothing but damage. Set a good example yourself, lose weight and get ...


8

I'm going to speak up here with my experience as a child in this situation. This is your daughter's last chance, in all likelihood, to avoid a lifetime of obesity. I deeply regret that my parents didn't help me do something about my obesity when I was a teenager.. Weight you lose as an adult will almost certainly come back. (Those statistics about how 5% ...


7

As a former nerdy kid, I'd say that group sports, with their tendency to be full of cliques and popularity contests, were very hard for me. I've always been more at ease with biking, hiking and cross-country skiing - activities that did not depend so much on skill, that were pretty much individual in nature, and that weren't overly competitive. Many geeks I ...


7

There we agreed to make sure that everybody prioritized class events in order to do our best to get a good class. No, you didn't agree. It is possible that no one spoke out against this suggestion when it was made, but that is probably mostly due to an intense social pressure in the situation. Can you imagine someone in the situation saying: "I don't think ...


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