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128

Since you're talking about church, I take it religious beliefs should be on topic here. There are two commandments that supersede (and contain) all the others. One of them is You shall love your neighbor as yourself. If you have not put yourself in the shoes of the other parents, their children, and the nursery staff, that is where you should start. ...


91

All you can do is teach your own child. It is never too early to learn that not everyone believes the same stuff, or even agrees on good behaviour. Your son will already have learnt those words at school so don't worry to much on that front. I would start with "I am glad you weren't joining in with teaching that toddler those nasty words, that wasn'...


80

For your first question: no, and no. Don't cut off other parents, and don't micromanage things. For your second question: yes, and yes. You can educate her; that's what her life is at this point after all, a long education session. Your daughter is going to have many moments like this through her life, where she sees others and picks up behaviors. That'...


54

To forewarn you, some of this is going to be my own views, and they seem to differ from yours. Swearing isn't a problem by itself If I stand in an empty room and shout obscenities and no one can hear, does it matter? No. Offense is in the mind of the listener If I say a word in your language which I don't understand, it is not offensive until you hear ...


36

Like the others, I disagree that you should buying your child "everything". But I feel there is an important distinction other answers don't bring to the point, although some skirt it. When your children asks for something "everybody has", ask yourself: is it a status symbol, or a tool prerequisite for participating in an activity common among its peers? ...


34

I've found that children generally are deferential to adults who aren't their relatives or friends. So be friendly and don't be scared to engage with them. I've found if children are hogging stuff, if you say: "Hey there can my kid have a go on this, it looks cool?" will usually result in them moving along to something else, or showing you and your kid how ...


33

My daughter is 16 months (the "terrible twos" begin in the second year of life, remember) and we've always been conscious about discouraging, politely but firmly, any behaviors that cause physical injury. She may not understand all of the words we say, but a firm "no" is pretty well-ingrained as a signal that she's about to get plunked in her crib for 15 ...


33

When confronted with these issues for the first time, we asked ourselves these questions: Can we afford to have everything all our peers have? If not, when and how did we learn to not to let this bring us down? Do we calculate our self-esteem depending on whether we can buy the same things our peers do? Seeing some of the things their peers have, do we ...


28

Those providing child minding services have a duty of care to all the children in their charge. It is entirely reasonable that any child pushing or pulling the hair of another child be removed from that environment. Hopefully this phase will not last long. In the mean time, consider that your child needs to learn how to appropriately interact with other ...


25

Joe's analysis is spot on. I went through precisely the same thing with (now 4 year old), and continue to do so. The undesirable behavior changes, but the handling remains the same. I don't think that the five year olds were necessarily responsible for the hitting behavior. From what I have seen hitting seems to be a pretty natural instinct that kids ...


24

Your friend is being inconsistent. Her daughter doesn't like having her hand restrained? Does she think perhaps your son enjoys being hit? Talk about "violates bodily boundaries"! It's true that toddlers will naturally hit and bite. One of the roles of a parent is to intervene and to teach other ways of expressing feelings. Without that help, a toddler can ...


21

I hear a couple different things here, so I will approach them 1 at a time. First, your girl... News flash: ready? She's 3. 3 year olds don't know much about anything, let alone how to effectively defend themselves to a bully. So that's where parents come in. Most adults don't even know how to effectively handle a bully. She likely can't even remember ...


20

My nine year old has had similar difficulties, although he does not yet have an official diagnosis. These are some things we found to help: First of all, consider that he doesn't need a lot of friends, he just needs one good one. It can take a while to find one, but there is someone out there who is the right mix of tolerance and kindness and quirkiness ...


17

I think that money is not the most important factor here. I think that the reason the children usually have these costly toys (and I mean toys, since most kids do little more than play on them) like smartphones, laptops, tablets, PSPs, etc. is not because their parents care about them; it's often because they actually neglect them. The device is not ...


15

My view is that it is my responsibility to protect and to teach my child. I have been in the situation you've described, faced with the results of the rather permissive parenting style of your friend. I stopped the younger child hitting my son, saying out loud that hitting is wrong and saying to my child that to respond with violence is also wrong. ...


14

If you don't feel comfortable interfering here, either because you think you're going to rage out or because you don't see any possible positive outcome, then avoid the place altogether. Instead, I would find similar places that have more supervision, or if wherever you live has limited children's activities, go with a bunch of friends who have kids about ...


14

My oldest sister used to be a primary school teacher for very disadvantaged children in a very rough area. She saw it as part of her job to teach them to be - umm - less rough. So often these children would curse like fishwives. If she said "We don't say that", they'd say, "But my dad always calls my mum that". So she learnt to say, "That's not nice. We don'...


13

The other answers are good. I'll offer another point of view: Cherish it Your son wants to hold your hand? Let him. One day he probably won't want to anymore and you'll long for the days when your little boy wanted to hold his daddy's hand. My son is also very affectionate. He's 6.5 and loves to hold my hand and kiss me and his mom and his sisters. And he ...


12

When I first read this question, the first word that came to my mind was bullying. You're in a kind of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" position here, and you need to choose 1) what's really best for your kids, and 2) what heartache you want to face. First, do you have the means, and live a lifestyle, that allows you to give your child everything ...


10

I've never been shy about "helping" other parents out when what they're doing (or more often what they're not doing) isn't working. I've found that typically if you get on to another parents child, one of two things will happen: The child will run off and whine to their parents about you chastising them. The parent will come over, give you dirty looks, and ...


9

Honestly, in my opinion, get a babysitter for things like a theater outing. Or give up theater night. A theater is no place for a child, much less one of such a young age. Children at that age don't understand reasoning and logic yet, so they can't understand why they need to be quiet, despite their extreme boredom and frustration. Children need attention ...


9

The following portions of this answer are aimed at helping mom get some social time too(this helps to set a good example, plus even homebody's such as myself need time away from time to time anyway): You might try determining a night or two each month for her to endeavor in an area she would like to "try." She has her career in hand, but has there ever ...


9

I agree with Beofett. This particular parenting style seems to be the latest fad among some groups of parents--one of my sisters-in-law happens to be one of those parents. She makes excuses for her sons' behaviors explaining them as "developmentally appropriate" and making little to no attempt to discipline her kids even when their behavior is obviously ...


9

At 9 years old, (assuming no developmental disabilities) is perfectly capable of understanding the concept of "cuss" words as well as the idea that not all people will believe the same or make the same choices as you might encourage your son to make. The first thing you must identify is why you consider it inappropriate for your son to use crude, vulgar or ...


8

The mum of this child blames my son such as stating that he should learn to assert and defend himself. (...) This is why I suggested to my son that he should gently hold the girl’s hand and firmly say “NO”/“STOP”. My friend is not happy with this and has told him to stop it as this then violates her daughter’s bodily boundaries (...) Then what on earth ...


8

A 2.5 year old doesn't have a lot of empathy, understanding of causing pain to others, or a well developed sense of values, but they do know what gets a reaction out of people and, well, it's kind of important to exert a bit of control over others sometimes. It's one way of expressing an overwhelming feeling (usually frustration) they may be having ...


8

There is a great answer here but I would just add my thought. I would go to the church nursery and probably other places like playgroups. Keep an eye on your child, play and stop him every time while saying "don't hit" or "don't throw". After a while, (hopefully) the child will learn what is appropriate behavior. We had to repeat a good amount of time with ...


7

First of all, as a former teacher, in regard to the chaperoning situation I would say, When you are the chaperone your rule rules. Before going, everyone should be clear about what the rules and expectations are, but "when in Rome" applies here. If you use corporal punishment (which, based on other postings here I doubt, but if you do, make sure other ...


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