44

Children have all kinds of reasons for feeling more comfortable in the presence of their parents at night. I can respect that. But you need your sleep and your time with your wife. One option people rarely mention is putting the kid to bed in their parents' room. After months of struggling with our (2.5 year old) second child, I bought a thick foam rubber ...


27

I don't really agree with Ferber, but I think there are parts of the approach that can be adapted without as much of the "make your baby cry, and usually the parent also" portion. It's probably impossible to do it with zero crying, but that's mostly because you're ultimately trying to do something the baby doesn't like - so of course there will be ...


15

Your baby is used to being soothed to sleep by you. This is normal (and I believe healthy) in infants and young babies. At some point, however, it's important for babies to learn to self-soothe at bedtime (and nap time). Nine months is a fine time to start the process. Please give her soothing objects, e.g. silky-soft plush toys or a soft blanket during the ...


14

Slowly and carefully. With my kids the usual points were: Too soon. When the baby is not fully asleep, they tend to wake up. Wait for the "ragdoll state", limp arms and legs, deeper breathing and often mouth slightly open. Moro reflex. The moro reflex is triggered when the baby has a sensation of "falling", this happens when you place the baby backwards ...


13

Our daughter is three years old now and has slept in our bed for about two and a half years. Even now, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she continues her night at our bed. And like yours, she likes to lay with her head at here mom's and her feet in my back.. (terrible ;) ) We moved her to her own room and bed about a year ago. Telling her that ...


12

Well, you don't need to do anything, but the sooner you can comfortably get your family to a regular sleep routine that both you and your kids can count on, the happier you'll all be. We got both of our kids to where they could be in bed, (quiet and seemingly happy) by the time they were about five months old. It was hard, especially for my wife, but today,...


12

Many people around the world sleep with their children. I am not saying you should, but that children are not as disturbed as you are by sex. They seem to ignore it or sleep through it. The point is to wait until they are asleep, and perhaps don't go out of your way to be noisy. However, the problem you want to solve is to get your child to sleep in his own ...


10

Kids go through developmental stage changes and when they do their sleep and eating patterns often change with the child. At two, this is very likely at least a part of what is going on. Having said that, you did have a couple of things going on that might have been counter-productive to your child's sleep as well so even though they are no longer part ...


10

I think you're right in your concerns about confusing your baby. It's a good idea to wait until you get back from your trip to start sleep training unless you are going the "Extinction with parental presence" route (which is not consistent with CIO). As an alternative to CIO, there is "Ferberizing", which is far more work for the parents but maybe better ...


9

I think the simple answer is: "This too shall pass." You need to stay with him until he's comfortable not having you with him. He obviously has anxiety around sleeping by himself in his bed. The best (only?) way to allay that anxiety is to have one of his parents there with him. Much as it might not be ideal for you, I think the best thing for him is to ...


8

Our first son had a mattress on the floor in his room. We would do bedtime routines in his room, and when he was asleep, we went to our bedroom. This gave us the privacy we needed. At some point in the night, he would wake up and come to our bed. He was still doing this when he was almost 5 yrs. old and his brother was born. So then, both boys shared a ...


8

We have a son who is a bit like that, though he gets up a bit later. It used to be a problem until he knew how to read. Now he just gets up and quietly sits downstairs reading until the rest of the family gets up. I imagine something similar to that might work with your daughter - try to find something she likes doing that doesn't produce noise, and tell ...


7

For a newborn, no this is not a problem at all - it is perfectly normal. Your baby has spent the last few months held really tightly, so this new world is definitely a shock to the system. What many parents do is move to swaddling - with the arms tightly wrapped - to help baby sleep easily. It actually sounds like your baby is doing quite well - many won't ...


7

First, how lucky you are to experience no nightmares. Most people experience nightmares commonly. When one understands some of the purposes of dreaming, it's not really a surprise. Second, your hypnagogic sleep a disorder that is heritable. This is probably one of the reasons your child has night terrors. Luckily, these terrors aren't as bad as they sound. ...


7

You will find vastly different opinions on this, but I think four months is awfully young to let kids cry themselves to sleep. I know it's hard -- it's extremely hard, and with twins it's more than twice as hard. That said, children that young cannot reason, and although you can condition them in the way you describe, I fear the broader effects will be all ...


7

First of all, your baby is still very young. At less than one month, it is normal that he needs to be fed around the clock. His stomach is still very small, so he can't really stock up on food! Also your baby probably doesn't know the difference between day and night yet. Sleeping through the night is not really about how the baby is fed or how old is the ...


6

Babies are unique individuals. Some babies certainly do learn to fall asleep on their own very quickly. Others don't. My first one still doesn't fall asleep very well - at 2.5 years old. My second one goes to sleep very well - not perfect, but probably average or above average. In terms of age-related steps, the biggest one is solid foods. Once the ...


6

It seems to me from your question that a few things could be going on. Is he not tired? If he is still taking naps, he may not need them any more, or his bedtime is too early. He might need less sleep than he used to. Does he have any choices? The second thing it sounds like could be going on is that he wants to run the show. I find that at 3 years, ...


6

Go to bed earlier, get up at 5am and be glad it's not 2 am. Your baby may just be a morning person or he could be teething or have a wet/dirty diaper or many other things. If you put your baby down at 7pm for bed 5 am is 10 hours of sleep is pretty good. You might try keeping him awake longer at night, but be prepared for an early wake up call and cranky ...


6

In my experience, getting a toddler ready for bed starts the minute they wake up from their nap. They have so much energy, it's up to you to make sure it gets burned up at the right pace to ensure there isn't a surplus at the end of the day. Unfortunately, unlike a surplus of wheat, a toddlers energy cannot be shared (in fact it sort of has an inverse ...


6

Since you don't provide an age, there are a few different guidelines based on age. For children under about eight or nine months, stories primarily serve the purpose of hearing the parent's voice, as a soothing influence and helping to develop language. Therefore, any story will do. Books primarily should be high contrast, black and white in particular or ...


6

Your question covers a few points, which is usually discouraged here but as you are a new parent and new to this site I'll let it slip. A few suggestions: If your baby always cries when in a horizontal position, I suggest talking to your healthcare provider. Some babies have reflux problems (similar to heartburn in adults), which can be really painful. ...


6

I had this issue (still sometimes do) with my littlest son. What worked for us was a little stuffed animal that he picked out. The stuffy substituted for Mom and Dad when he woke up at night. We still sat in his room for a bit until he fell asleep, but we gave him instructions to talk it over with his stuffy before coming to get us at night. We also used ...


6

This is one of the cases where every answer should start with: Every child is different. There will always be those that sleep though the night almost from day one and others that need more time. A lot more. Some will need the touch or smell of their parents, others are happy to simply fall asleep. And as different as the babies are, as manifold are the "...


6

It's not your daughter's fault that you brought another person into the house; she should never be punished for that fact alone. Keeping her quiet during that time is your responsibility. So make it something rewarding that she enjoys doing. A two and a half year old can start practicing quiet time every day. That's basically what you are asking for: a time ...


6

So first off, it is totally normal for babies to still be waking in the middle of the night, and more frequently than once or twice. However, it's also possible to sleep through the night (barring teething incidents, which I'll get to). I have an almost eight month old who until she started sprouting teeth all at once (three in progress at the moment) slept ...


6

The sudden step back might have a physical cause (tooth breaking through, coming down with a fever, stomach cramps from a change of diet, whatever), in which case the problem will be short-lived and go away once the physical cause disappears. If not, read on. Any advice? Yes: Do whatever works. Don't fall for all the parenting advice that tells you ...


5

We did not "sleep train" in the sense your husband is referring to and our daughter is now a fabulous sleeper (at seven). Idon't think it is required (nor do I think it means automatically happier kids or more engaged parents). However, as with all things there are trade-offs to be considered on either side. In my experience if you sleep train through ...


5

There are a wide variety of "cry it out" techniques. I am vigorously opposed to most of them. Some of the 'gentler' techniques are valuable for sleep training. They work within two weeks, they do not allow the child to get too distressed, and they support the parent and child through a short but difficult transition. "Cry it out" is the term used for the ...


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