76

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


68

It's so hard for parents when their children start to pull away. We may be parents, but we are also human beings. It hurts, even when we try not to show it. We question ourselves and if we are doing things "right". I remember when my oldest boy (he is now 20) stopped wanting to go to the movies with me. I was very upset; it was "our thing". It was an ...


53

You are in a tough situation. Having to share parenting with someone you hate is very difficult. And whenever anyone upsets your child, it's natural to want to prevent that. Let me make some suggestions for you. first, no hitting - I am presuming that "pop our son top make him hush" means hitting. That has to stop. It doesn't work, it makes the crying ...


41

UPDATE: This is apparently affecting my dad so much that he's thinking about quitting work, and he's the only source of income. I need some step-by-step instructions on how to do this before it's too late. There is no step-by-step way to make someone feel better whom you've hurt. But here's some basic steps. Understand why what you said was unfair ...


30

As a male who previously worked customer service for feminine care products, I think I might be able to provide some advice here. Get familiar with the different feminine hygiene brands. Assuming you are in the US, that's Kotex, Always, Stayfree, Tampax, Playtex, etc. Don't just assume that having the talk is the end of it. There will be an adjustment ...


23

Mothers do what fathers do: love their children unconditionally and raise them to be independent, happy contributing members of society. My husband and I have different approaches towards the kids, but those are much more based on personality and background than gender. We both love our kids to death and show them that every day, and we both try to teach ...


21

I won't answer everything (short version - I think you're doing the right thing on most levels). Do NOT badmouth the ex in front of the son. You made a very wise choice! For one thing, it won't really help you long term. Second, it may cause damage to his own self-image as a man long term. For another, if you ever meet a man you want to be involved with ...


21

I support the answer written by @Chrys except for two things: If you don't feel comfortable spending time together the three of you, that's okay, the basic idea Chrys suggested can still work -- but it would have to be someone else, that the child knows and trusts, who would be spending time with child and dad as a threesome. It could be a friend or ...


20

It's just like anything else. You set limits and you enforce them. Being a video game enthusiast myself, I wanted to point out a few things you might want to consider in setting those limits. Some games are very easy to set down at any time, and some aren't. Some games can only be saved at fixed checkpoints. Some have cut scenes that can't be paused or ...


20

You've done a very good thing by asking for help. There may be tough times ahead, but you are trying hard to do something about it, so whatever happens, remember that you did the best you could. There is a biological urge to break away from one's parents, that often occurs around your age. This is partly to allow them to focus their attention and resources ...


18

I would suggest the following strategy: Learn the facts. Do a bit of reading to make sure you know the whole story, perhaps by talking to female friends. Then give a frank and honest account of what will be going on in the girl's body and why. Make sure the girl has tampons or pads available for when the event happens, and make sure she know how to use ...


18

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


17

It can seem very overwhelming, but with help from public services and by adjusting your expectations about having the new fancy gadgets that are on the "must have" lists, you can definitely budget for baby. First, find out about public services available for free Vaccines are given for free at clinics: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/health/...


16

One rule of thumb (and it's a good one) is don't put your child in the middle of a dispute between your ex and yourself. You are contemplating using an innocent child, someone who asked for none of this storm, as a pawn to change your ex's behavior. The odds are that it will not change your ex's behavior (as evidenced by the fact that you're having the same ...


15

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help it. ...


15

I volunteer at ADHD and Aspergers syndrome vacation camps for kids. We hold raging kids and keep a rigid consequence structure that everyone follows (organizers included). Usually after 2-3 everything calms down and the kids can have fun. Holding is helpful to calm down a child but it does not fix the source of his tantrums. Write a contract with your ...


15

But, I also don't want to sneak around behind their backs like I'm doing something wrong. Assuming you're not bringing home a new guy every night, you're definitely not doing something wrong, but somehow you don't seem to really believe that yourself, because you also say ...and in later years will sleep around thinking "it was ok for Mom". Notice how ...


14

I am not a parent so this isn't a complete answer, just a perspective from dealing with people. In any interaction between two mammals, one is reactive and the other has the power. If you want to win an argument, make the other person lose their mind with anger. It doesn't even have to be an anger reaction. Social power falls to the person the least ...


14

Your daughter is sixteen, and only a few years away from adulthood and going off on her own (if she chooses). I think the question you need to ask yourself is, have you raised her so that she is able to make (mostly) good choices on her own? If your answer is yes, then you have done what you can. Keep it up, and keep paying attention for anything truly ...


13

The most important thing you need to homeschool your child is an adult who can spend the hours of 9am-3pm with the child. This is also the requirement with the longest lead time. Some of the ways people are able to arrange this include: be a 2-adult family, one works for income and the other homeschools the children be a 2-adult family, one works days and ...


13

I have no idea what any kind of "best" action could possibly be. What I would want to make sure of is that no matter what interaction I have with my kids about the death of their other parent I want to be clear what is happening inside me (and deal with that) from what is happening inside them (and help them deal with that). They are two different aspects of ...


12

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


12

Here's a summary of social welfare payments available to support families and specifically children, in Ireland. The ones which sound as though they might be relevant to you are: Child Benefit: €135 per month for each child from January 2015 Maternity Benefit: from 6 January 2014 a standard rate of €230.00 per week is paid. One-Parent Family Payment: €188 /...


12

You're a gamer with relationship problems? Hey, I was a gamer with relationship problems too. I get it. (I even met my wife on an online game. Right after I killed her. What a noob... Sorry, what was I saying?) You have a lot of things going for you. The biggest one is that he's trying. The next biggest one is that you told him the truth. Right there, I can ...


11

First, just let me say, I know how devastating a brain tumor is because one of my childhood best friends has one. It has been removed and she is still there but communication is difficult and she gets really frustrated and sad frequently. It looks as though it is on the re-bound unfortunately too. So, the communication abilities she has regained are ...


11

5 hours doesn't seem that long - double that is definitely doable. The important thing is how you plan it- regular stops, whether for fuel, feed, snacks for you, nappy change, or just a walk around in fresh air have everything you may need close to hand: wipes, cloths, maybe a bottle a car seat that is safe and legal, and that allows your baby to see you ...


10

My advise would be to get her a book meant for children which teaches about menstruation. The book should be filled with non-frightening pictures of the human body with a simple-to-understand language. The reason is that she might feel embarrassed to ask questions about this to her father. The good book will answer her questions in her privacy. Moreover, ...


10

The reason this is a struggle for me is because I realize that I am not a perfect parent. FYI: There is no such thing. I got teary-eyed when I read your post. For 2 reasons: 1) I was raised in a household where my father was unbelievably violent and abusive, and 2) I, too, have had to balance a hard decision as my daughter's mother is not one who ...


10

I admire you for both recognizing the problem and seeking help. Single parenting is difficult; changing your daufghter's eating patterns will demand even more from you. :( First, though, comfort eating is not an eating disorder. That's kind of like saying loneliness is a mood disorder. Neither is a disorder; both indicate an unmet need. Both should be ...


9

I am not an attorney so I can't give legal advice, but this is a topic near and dear to my heart and I think she can do more than she realizes and I think there are organizations that could help her and she just doesn't know it. First, if he has her state ID and her SSN, he has effectively stolen her identity. And if he's used it (like he did to get ...


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