68 votes
Accepted

My 4 year-old says she doesn't love her mom

I think your instincts of jealousy are spot-on. My daughter did this starting when her little brother arrived home from the hospital, and every time she felt like he was getting more of Mama's ...
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  • 12.2k
46 votes
Accepted

Do young children hold grudges?

First - I'm very surprised to see the parents asked you to break the news to the children. It seems to me like this is the sort of thing they should be doing! Second - what you're describing is ...
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  • 58.3k
40 votes

Should I have the same bedtime as my sister?

I'm going to interpret the question as asking how a parent can manage the bedtimes of siblings of different ages, as I think that's a great question, and answerable (as opposed to asking for an ...
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  • 58.3k
34 votes

Son chooses what my daughter chose then gets upset he doesn't get it

People are not robbed of choices they were never given to begin with. Asking two children open-ended "which would you like?"-style questions is a recipe for disaster if you don't have the resources ...
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  • 1,502
20 votes

My 4 year-old says she doesn't love her mom

There are a couple of things going on here, and both will probably be due to attention. You said that mum finds it difficult. That means that she probably reacts slightly. This means that your ...
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18 votes

Son chooses what my daughter chose then gets upset he doesn't get it

Have you considered that your son may be "deliberately" forcing the conflict? I put "deliberately" in quotes, because it probably isn't conscious or intentional, but doesn't seem like any coincidence ...
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17 votes

Do young children hold grudges?

"Holding grudges" has a negative connotation, so I wouldn't quite phrase it that way. Can young children remember who, for example, they cannot trust any longer? Absolutely. I agree with @...
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  • 66.9k
14 votes

How to make my 16-year-old sister stop biting me, when my parents won't get involved?

Your sister has a real problem. This is the kind of behaviour that she should have left behind at preschool. Is she violent towards others or just you? If she has more general violence issues then I ...
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  • 9,338
14 votes

How to make my 15-year-old daughter want to meet her 39-year-old sister?

To be honest, I can see your fifteen-year-old daughter's point of view. Why should she want to meet this grown-up that hasn't mattered in her life up to now? What positive change in her life would ...
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14 votes

Preparing a 3-year old for the death of a sibling

I'm truly sorry for your situation, that's a horrific & traumatic experience to go through. I wouldn't worry too much about the direct impact on your 3 year old. She is still very young and quite ...
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  • 6,712
13 votes
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Younger sister blackmailing parents

I take it you have a cell-phone with recording capabilities? Maybe your parents do as well? Start using them. When you have caught enough of her threats on film, let her go ahead and call the police. ...
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  • 66.9k
12 votes
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How do I deal with rude or uncooperative siblings?

Ultimately raising your siblings is your parent's responsibility, not yours. Helping them out is a nice gesture, but eventually you will move out and they won't be able to depend on your help. The ...
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  • 13.3k
11 votes
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One of two children invited to a mutual friends birthday party

At a slumber party, the number of attendees is usually more restricted than otherwise — there is a bit less space, a longer time commitment for the hosts, and the amount of noise generated by guests ...
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  • 22.5k
11 votes
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Do my parents hate me?

We have no way to know the truth of this situation so my advice is: Set a time and a place for a meeting with your parents so you can talk it out. Your sibling should not be there and TV and so on ...
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  • 17.4k
11 votes
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How to explain to a toddler why she doesn't have siblings?

If it makes you feel any better to know this, kids with siblings ask this. In fact I recently had my nearly 8 year inform me that he is ready for another sibling in about a year, for what reason, I ...
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  • 7,310
11 votes
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Toddler Being Mean to Baby

We struggled with this too. I don't think we found a perfect solution, and eight years later still have some issues of this nature; but what did seem to help was focusing on the feelings. By this I ...
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  • 58.3k
10 votes

Evidence that kids from big families are happier and better-functioning

My perception is that a child's social adjustment is more complex than just how many siblings they have. For example: there are articles discussing how Only Children are More Successful while you can ...
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9 votes

5-year-old tantrums and misbehavior - what am I doing wrong?

Kids mess up. A lot. If it were possible to do something for a month that would make them stop messing up, they wouldn't need to live with you anymore. Kids messing up isn't a sign that you're ...
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9 votes
Accepted

I don't feel accepted at home

Dealing with a sibling is tough, especially if you've got a long-established tradition of fighting. It's easy to interact poorly because you've been doing it your whole lives. Keep calm. It's hard to ...
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  • 22.5k
9 votes
Accepted

Is it OK for my 16 year old son to watch my 10 year old daughter at home alone while I'm at work?

If you trust them not to fight and to listen to each other, sure. I've been a babysitter since as young as 13, and there's 6 years of difference which should give enough additional overweight for the ...
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  • 8,260
9 votes
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How should I ask my child if they did something or which child was doing it?

I would refrain from that question. If that's your first response, your children will pick that up as the most important component in the event that has taken place, and I can see how that would steer ...
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  • 10.6k
8 votes

How can I help reunite my mother and little brother?

First of all, these sorts of things are rarely caused by one event. Rather, that one event is usually the "straw that broke the camel's back" after a long series of problems in a relationship. If I ...
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8 votes

When my kids don't get along; what are some options besides punishment that can be effective beyond 5 minutes?

I've never punished my kids for not getting along but I have gotten angry with one or another for improper behavior (e.g. over-reacting, escalating too far, endless teasing just for the fun the ...
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  • 1,668
8 votes

How can I get my children to develop a half sibling relationship

Please put yourself in your daughter's position for a moment: You are 11. You are starting to discuss "cool" things with your girlfriends and can't wait to be a bit older. And with a bit of ...
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  • 17.6k
8 votes

Son chooses what my daughter chose then gets upset he doesn't get it

There are a number of good answers already but I didn't see anyone mention giving one sibling the chance to pick for the other and rotate. Day 1: Son, which plate do you think your sister would like? ...
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  • 180
8 votes

How to help 3-year-old stop playing so hard with 1-year-old?

I've witnessed this behavior before between my oldest and my newest. In the beginning he would treat new baby kind of rough. It's hard for children to gauge their own strength sometimes. It's also ...
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8 votes
Accepted

Should we be concerned about preschool siblings playing "sexual" games?

This kind of "playing doctor" seems pretty common and nothing to be overly worried about, though I don't have any statistics (reliable ones would be difficult to collect, to put it mildly). ...
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  • 9,338

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