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23

It seems you're having difficulty expressing the idea of "not sharing" in positive terms. If you call it "taking turns" it's a lot easier to encourage in a positive way. "It's his turn to play with the legos now. It's your turn to play with these velcro stars if you want." Kids that age really glom onto the concept, because it reconciles the need to ...


10

You would probably enjoy watching or reading about the marshmallow test. It was an experiment done on children around your daughter's age (some were a bit older) to see how well they can resist a marshmallow, if they were told they can have a second marshmallow in a short while - if they don't eat the first one! Then they would be left alone. The video ...


9

This situation is going to recur for years. Develop a long-term strategy for dealing with it based on what is best for your son, not necessarily what is fair. At this age, he's not going to learn any significant lesson from any behavior you choose as long as it's not frightening to him. There are plenty of reasons to stop someone from snatching a toy: value ...


8

I don't think you could/should have done anything different. You were correct when you said that you can't force people to share their things. If the child who refused to share was your child, you could take action if, and only if, you knew they were lying about the XBox not working. Going on the basis that the child was lying isn't necessarily right. ...


6

In combination with the concept of "taking turns" you can also talk to your little one about "projects." What I mean by that is best illustrated by giving you an example from home first, and they I'll explain how it applies out in the world. The home example is also a way to "practice" the idea. First, he'll need to know to offer help rather than just "...


6

Why should he have to share with Elmo anyway? In his little play world, your son is president, king and dictator for life. Bossing his toys about provides a useful outlet. --- EDIT --- In response to this comment and downvote: I don't think this is a constructive answer. Can you expand further to explain why you think this is a useful learning premise? An ...


6

This is pretty normal for siblings, and there are a lot of factors in play. The toy somebody plays with always seems more interesting. There is a book Siblings without Rivalry which discusses it in details. I would suggest to do the following: Establish ownership. Each kid does not have to share his toy (of course, they can be asked, but don't insist). If ...


5

Developmentally they're at the age where sharing is an alien thing, so what you're seeing isn't necessarily a bellweather for problems down the road. That being said, the best luck we've had teaching our 21-month-old to share is modelling the desired behavior. When he picks up something that's interesting to him but that we'd rather he didn't play with (...


5

In my opinion this is very common behavior. He probably wants to both be part of what B does, and maybe to retaliate. Our 3 year old does this quite common to his little brother, 13 months old. He still love his little brother, I and I bet A loves B a lot still. Does A share well with kids his own age? At 4, he is probably used to having some 'discussion' -...


5

As a parent whose child has a peanut allergy, please don't encourage your child to share food. In our primary school, children are taught explicitly not to share food due to the prevalence of food allergies, our son has always been told not to share food or accept food and still it happens. For some children, this is extremely dangerous. In our ...


4

The other parent seems to have taken a cue from you.* You didn't say anything and let the her deal with it, which sends the message that it doesn't bother you on behalf of your son. And when that happens repeatedly, the simpler path for her to take was just let her child have the toy -- that way, it doesn't get stolen anymore and she doesn't have to ...


4

I have twins who are 2.5 years old. At 18 months consider having the kids take turns with a toy and not play with it at the same time (another form of sharing). First it's Sam's turn and then it's Alex's. You can use a timer so after 2 minutes they have to switch toys. Be very encouraging, thanking them for sharing and playing nicely together. At this ...


4

Tit for tat won't work. If you're teaching anything, it would only be a lesson in how to be petty. Doing the opposite might work, but you shouldn't do it for the wrong reasons. People share things because they have a desire to share them not because they feel obligated to. Feeling obligated to share something often makes some people want to rebel and do ...


4

You let your daughter make a decision and she made the choice most children her age will make. Ideally, your wife could have pretended to be very sad or angry ("That's not fair!") right after that, teaching her about the consequences. If it happens a few hours later, it's already nearly impossible for a 3 year old to learn that connection. Still, these ...


4

Make it clear that his things are his, and he gets final say on whether or not to share them. Making him feel that he has control of the situation, at least with respect to his own toys, will make him feel more secure and perhaps more inclined to share. However, also make it clear that things that other kids have are theirs, and he has to get permission to ...


3

* Editing to mention that the previous answer didn't show up for some reason when I came to read the question, but I think we end up saying the same thing essentially. * I have a pretty non traditional view on toddlers and sharing. From my history in developmental studies, toddlers don't share. It's not really a concept they can grasp. Yes they can be ...


3

Welcome! I have nothing to say about breastfeeding after two. It's your decision and it doesn't matter what I think. I never had the opportunity so I leave that to people who have. Discipline. If a child throws something or misuses it, try removing it. It goes in the closet or drawer and stays there for a period of time. 20 minutes, 2 hours, a day -- the ...


3

As I believe I posted elsewhere on this site--I believe my kids learned generosity and to share easily precisely because they were not asked to share too early. A quick anecdote: My brother and sister-in-law had children the same age as mine, and they emphasized sharing all the time. When my eldest was about 4, he and one of his cousins were in the back of ...


3

It's possible that the other child was lying because he didn't want to deal with the backlash if had said "You're too young, I'm afraid you will break my game". In the future, when you ask if your four year old can play with an older child's electronics, you might add "I'll stay right here and supervise to make sure nothing gets broken." It isn't really ...


3

Point 1: Concerns are always valid, but are sometimes unfounded. Yours are both valid and founded. What I mean is, it is valid to be concerned for the social development of your child, and the impact that bullying can have on it. This shows caring and concern, and is a good thing, as it means you are probably a caring and concerned parent. Point 2: ...


3

It would be okay to teach a child, however not a 2 years old, to share foods, in case you might be living in underdeveloped places with food issues, which does not seem to be the case for you. Sharing food is an old-fashioned diminishing cultural practice, which is not really an educational concern to be thought to a child of such age. Many cultures are ...


2

We were perhaps a bit too conservative in our approach - we encouraged our lot from the start to come and ask us if they could go and play with another child, which gave us the opportunity to say, "No - that boy is busy," or, "You're a bit too big to play with her." On reflection, this probably made our kids, well, at least our eldest, a bit reticent to go ...


2

We have a similar set of boys (3 and 15 months), and the way we dealt with it, in addition to largely following Ida's advice above, was to emphasize to the older boy that the younger boy needs toys, also. Largely this comes in two flavors: The older boy is playing with a large set of toys (cars, trains, etc.), where there are numerous individual elements. ...


2

First of all, I love the fact that I get to tell one of the forum mods "YOR DOIN IT RONG!!!11" IMO wait till the move. If it's planned and it's in the pretty near future (couple months), there's no reason not to wait. Every routine you have is going to be restarted anyway, and you'll even have to start some new ones. Regardless of how you try to plan it, ...


2

I don't think breastfeeding is an issue here, so I'll jump to main points. I suggest trying playful matter to solve cleaning up the toys. You coild say that toys love to get to their own places after a play. You can pick them up together. That way 4 year old gets more adult time. Or you can set up a reward roster. She might get sticker after cleaning up. ...


2

I am in my 50s, and sometimes I struggle with the same thing! Some things I find helpful: Leaving a light on in the next room Running a fan Sitting up and reading until I am really sleepy Music or television on with really low volume A lot of people find sleeping with a pet helpful. Maybe that is an option for you? Good luck.


1

I would suggest getting him more toys of his own - toys that his sister would also be interested in, so she will want to borrow them from time to time. Then make it clear that lending toys is voluntary - don't force either child to do it - and point out that if he wants to borrow his sister's toys, he needs to lend his toys to her sometimes. Also, you may ...


1

One of the most important concerns for a young child is to not have the things they are using taken away from them. Allowing another kid to take your child's toy is not sending the message you need to share it sends the message you cannot be confident that I will protect your right to keep using the toy. You need to take the toy back from the other child ...


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