21

Ultimately it's self-limiting. As he gets older it'll hurt more (partly as he'll be stronger) and he will stop. Our boys all did this and we didn't discourage it but put boundaries around it -- "You can do that in the bath, but not out the bath". And then of course as they got older (3-5) and they went through another phase of doing it we made the rule that ...


16

About 1 in 10 children discover masturbation before puberty. And the majority of those discover it in infancy or as toddlers. It is almost never a sign of abuse or sexual misconduct, and there is no research that suggests that this is unhealthy or that it leads to longterm mental or sexual damage of any sort. I know it seems counterintuitive, but it seems to ...


16

At the age that the child tells you. You don't "discover" another person's sexuality, that is something each person finds for themselves.


12

I wouldn't worry too much, and I definitely wouldn't suggest doing anything about it. First of all you don't know that the two of them meant to sleep in an intimate manner. They may have fallen asleep separately and then ended up closer together as they rolled around in their sleep. As someone who has had to share a bed with a young child I know they do ...


12

I have some experience with this as a parent! So speaking from experience: there is no set age at which you can tell what a child's sexual preferences, gender identity, gender expression, political tastes, favourite baseball team, or preference for cats versus dogs are/will be, but there is one critical thing you can do to make that age earlier than it ...


10

There are several different explanations for this behavior: He has transexual tendencies he is exploring. This doesn't necessarily mean he is transexual. Confusion about ones sexual- and gender identity is normal in that age. It's an attempt to see dating from "the other side" to better understand the female psyche and how other boys try to woo girls. The ...


8

I have one question...who's supposed to be watching them when this happens? This is not an accusatory question or in any way meant to point a finger, however, it is the standard question I have when ANY child of ANY age does something inappropriate. The fact is, as a rule of thumb, it only takes anyone 2 minutes to get into trouble...even adults. This ...


7

You're saying nothing but good things about the girl. And you're saying that they're starting to discover romantic interest, or at least she is (girls mature earlier than boys). Now, is there any reason you wouldn't want that girl as your son's girlfriend? Obviously, there are things you wouldn't want them to do just yet, but as a long-term picture, you ...


5

It doesn't sound like the kids are doing anything age-inappropriate, or inappropriate in general. If you don't feel comfortable helping them playact "real dating" (movies, dinners, etc) then don't do it. I'd also advise you not to get hung up on whatever they want to call their time together. From what you've described, it doesn't sound much different --...


5

I took Child Development a couple years ago. This is a phase all children (yes, boys and girls) will go through as a self-soothing thing. The phase will stick around for a year or two then mostly vanish. It'll show back up in the teenage years. As for the force your son is using- he'll probably stop when it hurts.


4

You said: He seems to have an unnatural attachment with the "mums" in his life What happened surrounding your 9 year-old boy's biological mum? Maybe this is part of the problem. Maybe it isn't. The thing is that family break-ups and, although not always, the emotional effects of break-ups can cause all sorts of problems with a child's emotional ...


4

"...the health visitor says its normal..." Then why disbelieve him? You think you'll get more authoritative answers here? :) Really though, every little boy on the planet does this, and he'll be doing it for a while. If he starts pulling so hard it actually hurts him and makes him cry/bleed, then he might have some mental compulsion/anxiety issues about it;...


2

EDIT: TL;DR -->I do not believe there is an age cap. From the moment the child is born, they learn from their surroundings and parents how to act/react to all situations. Some parts of a child are nurture (how they handle anger, gender roles, etc...), some are nature (liking sports vs art, etc...), but children are just experiencing life, they do not ...


2

We had a similar question a while back, where I outlined my own personal policy and my values backing that policy. When developing your own policy, you should consider your own values and the results you want to achieve. I think the key here is find a way to say yes. It isn't a choice between forbidding any relationship at all or permitting any ...


2

You should be able to find appropriate photos online of non-sexual adult nudity by looking for photos of naturist/nudist (in germany FKK). You can search Getty Images for “naturist photography”, seek out work by portrait photographers like Laura Pannack, look at media coverage of nude protests like the World Naked Bike Ride, or even educational programmes ...


1

As a 13 year old girl, I want to give you my perspective :) Me and my boyfriend are both 13, and cuddling/hugging/kissing is pretty basic stuff for us, and as long as there is no sexual activity involved, it's totally OK. This girl seems right for your son, even if it's just in a platonic way. No reason to get too nosy, but I'd keep an eye on them to be sure ...


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