53

You can no longer micromanage your son's activity You have probably noticed that your can't control your son's actions by force or persuasion anymore, if you ever could. He's old enough now to be self directed, which is scary. The only thing you can do is to give him a moral framework in which to live. Provide a credible moral framework Can you explain to ...


40

Your son is nearly sixteen, and that means he's clearly beyond the point where you can 'make' him do things - and it seems like you agree based on your question. So what that means, to me, is the important thing is to help him understand the consequences of his actions. Teenagers are of ten able to make good choices when they understand the full ...


24

There isn't much you can do to force a change in their relationship. You can establish curfews, household rules, and so on, but unless you plan to watch her every minute of every day, she'll find a way to break a rule that you put in place. While she is certainly not an adult yet, your daughter's old enough to make some decisions on her own. The best way ...


18

I agree with your concerns for the girl. There are some great suggestions in the other answers, so I'll limit myself mostly to consequences for the girl. Let's assume you can't stop them from having sex, which doesn't mean the discussion shouldn't take place; they can still be in a relationship with each other that doesn’t involve sex. Discussions with ...


15

You need to bring some other adults into the equation. The first people I'd talk to is her parents. Yes, part of the problem might be that she doesn't have great parents but that's why you need to talk them, even more than if her parents are good. The second type of person to talk to is a trusted teacher, or maybe neighbor, who has dealt with both your son, ...


11

Contraception You don't want to make this situation worse, so make sure your son has access to condoms and knows how to use them. That includes showing him how to put one on (ususally done with a banana) and making him practise, making sure he understands that — contrary to the common misconception — a girl can get pregnant on her first time, that he needs ...


9

she thinks that he is cool because he makes a lot of money off it Most likely, he's spinning yarns about the money in drug dealing and she's falling for it because she watches too much TV. Studies indicate that low-level drug dealers make $20k-$30k per year. While that's a lot for a 17-year-old, it is not very much money at all by adult standards; pretty ...


7

English Law: http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents Your son is 16 and thus would count as a child offender under the law. (Once he's 18 the law becomes much more serious, although it is serious for under 18s). Note that he has already broken the law. He touched a child; the touching was sexual; he knew she was under 16. This offence ...


6

There are two textbook definitions of adulthood. One is legal adulthood, where we've set dates from birth at which point you're entitled to certain privileges, and there's physical adulthood which is, quite simply, sexual maturity. Your son is quickly approaching both of these milestones in his life. If your son is going to be engaging in adult behaviors, ...


6

A quicker response in order to cover something I view as an important point: teens have a much higher tendency towards risk-taking behaviors. Thus, while the legal aspects may be the most concerning to you, to your son the legal ramifications only apply "if we get caught." And of course, he'll NEVER get caught again. I agree with the above posters that the ...


5

Perhaps your son would be impacted by the true story of my 13-year-old cousin who experienced a 15-year-old boy who "loved" her in the same way. She had a baby when she was 14. Then she had an abortion as a result of someone else when she was 15. She became drug addicted, then a prostitute. Please tell your boy that if he does this to her, even if no child ...


5

First let me say the following. There is no moral law (religious laws) and no "law of men" that can do anything at all to prevent teenagers from attempting to have sex. There is only one law that controls teenage sexual behavior and that is biology (the law of the jungle). I would bet a lot of money that, if you allow these two kids to be alone, they will ...


5

Is there anything you can do? Not really. I'd say talk to your daughter and make it clear that you know what she's doing, you're not happy about it then go onto making sure she stays protected while having sex. It's probable this will just end in time and then you'll be there to console your daughter however, you could talk to her and suggest that she ...


5

You're in an unenviable position with your 15-year old right now. He's very close to the age where he's been told that he'll legally be allowed to participate in sex, but his girlfriend is still very far away from that age. He may, however, be at an age that he will understand this somewhat complex situation - so you should definitely first consider just ...


3

Please note this answer was to another, less worrying question. In that case, the OP was noting sexual activity between 2 young children of the same age. I think this is a normal part of child development, and one we as parents often try to redirect to other pursuits. If the other child is unhappy about it, that is a different concern. We need to give our ...


2

Although the question stands at 7 months old now, I would like to shed some light on this as a 16 year old guy myself. My girlfriend is 15, fully a year younger. We have been in a relationship since she was 13 and I was 14. We had sex for the first time at 14/15 and we are still together, with no children and both happy, while still practicing regular sex. ...


2

Things you might want to say: That he will possibly ruining his life: not only by going to jail (and not finishing high school, and having problems with college), but also by getting a 'sex offender' label that will follow him through his life That he will possibily ruin her life: with unwanted pregnancy, with a judicial procedure that inevitably breaks ...


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