166
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
I was 19 and ran off with a 27 year old woman from America. (I'm British and she is American). My mother disowned me and we didn't speak for a year.
My relationship with my wife lasted 16 years and ...
- 1,371
69
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
I don't know what to do, do I let them get on with it or should I try to explain my above concerns at the risk of pushing them together?
Why not do both?
It's natural to be concerned. You might also ...
- 2,899
53
votes
What to do about the incestuous relationship between my daughter and her cousin?
First of all, the "how should I handle this" depends a lot on what your own concerns are. Is your concern the "cousin" part? or the "two 14 year olds" part? If the latter, is it specific aspect (are ...
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48
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
Several answers already, but I want to address a couple of your concerns.
You are worried about your daughter missing opportunities (travelling, studies). I started dating my wife when she was ...
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35
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
The general rule of thumb for age appropriateness is half plus 7.
The obligatory XKCD cartoon:
25 and 17 is slightly over. However, generally speaking women mature earlier than men. Assuming your ...
- 393
31
votes
Is it possible for an 8 year girl to be sexually abused and enjoy it?
I'm tempted to answer "Yes.", but that would be totally misleading.
So the long answer, because we need to examine the mechanisms that are at work in such cases:
When we think abuse, we often ...
- 18.1k
24
votes
My 15-year-old daughter is having sex with her boyfriend who is a drug dealer
There isn't much you can do to force a change in their relationship. You can establish curfews, household rules, and so on, but unless you plan to watch her every minute of every day, she'll find a ...
- 22.6k
20
votes
How do parents have sex when there's a toddler in the house?
I was raised in a house where nudity was never an issue and yes, there were a few times I saw my parents having sex. I do not think it was intentional or an "in your face" kind of a thing. it was ...
- 201
17
votes
Accepted
What to do when we are concerned about the sexualisation of our 20-month-old son?
About 1 in 10 children discover masturbation before puberty. And the majority of those discover it in infancy or as toddlers. It is almost never a sign of abuse or sexual misconduct, and there is no ...
- 513
15
votes
11 year old son searching for porn
There's no universal answer to this question. It's going to vary heavily depending on all sorts of factors. I can merely offer my own POV.
I'd start by considering that you can't rid the world of ...
- 3,896
15
votes
My son has been offered money by a classmate, if he would pull down his underwear
Is this a problem?
My personal feeling is that, yes it is. The issue here is one potentially of child abuse -- not your children, but of M. I would question whether M has been subjected to ...
- 3,855
15
votes
Is it possible for an 8 year girl to be sexually abused and enjoy it?
Physically - Yes.
Mentally - No!
In my experience (foster parent - seen this way too much, unfortunately), kids this age know that this isn't right. Physically, they might enjoy the stimulation - it'...
- 1,554
15
votes
What to do about the incestuous relationship between my daughter and her cousin?
There are 2 (possible) issues here.
Age
You could be concerned about the age. This does raise a few concerns:
What happens if they break up?
Will she be able to cope? A number of people around my ...
- 258
14
votes
Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits
I am at a loss as to how to repair this relationship with the son now. I don't want to push them together by expressing my dislike of her and this whole situation to him, however, I fear this will be ...
- 68.2k
13
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
I don't know if it helps, but when I met my girlfriend she was 16 and I was 23, one year later we came together. At that age I was working but lived with my mother. She went to high school and lived ...
- 261
11
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
Is it love? You have not even mentioned that important fact.
As others have said, you need to have some serious talks with your daughter. If she thinks she is in love, but the subject of marriage has ...
- 68.2k
11
votes
My son's girlfriend has been cheating with my best friend's son. Should I get involved?
I'd let your son know this girl is Bad News, and why, and advise him to drop her like a hot iron. This girl is not worth fighting over. He should also get tested for STD's and treated if necessary.
I'...
- 3,647
11
votes
How to deal with children when parents are caught in the act?
From personal experience coming to terms with how soon kids these days are being exposed to information about "sacred" acts, my overall recommendation is to be open and honest with a view to educate ...
- 221
10
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
As a guy who watched lots of the girls his age at college start to date guys 5+ years older than themselves I remember feeling jealous at the great insight they were able to get from those experiences....
- 101
9
votes
My 15-year-old daughter is having sex with her boyfriend who is a drug dealer
she thinks that he is cool because he makes a lot of money off it
Most likely, he's spinning yarns about the money in drug dealing and she's falling for it because she watches too much TV. Studies ...
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8
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
First and foremost, let me just state, I think I get where you're coming from. You have legitimate concerns: What do they have in common? What experiences and mutual understanding could they even ...
- 365
8
votes
Finding out who initiated sexual contact. What needs to be done?
I have one question...who's supposed to be watching them when this happens? This is not an accusatory question or in any way meant to point a finger, however, it is the standard question I have when ...
- 1,761
8
votes
How do I change my son's views, after he confessed to me that he rather be with prostitutes over having an actual girlfriend?
Growing up I had a friend who feared things in life too, I remember talking to him when he was around 17. To him he wanted a stable job in his uncle's factory, nothing in management. He wanted a ...
- 161
8
votes
Accepted
Should we be concerned about preschool siblings playing "sexual" games?
This kind of "playing doctor" seems pretty common and nothing to be overly worried about, though I don't have any statistics (reliable ones would be difficult to collect, to put it mildly). ...
- 9,566
7
votes
How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?
One thing which no other post has covered, and which you probably don't want to hear, but is the plain and brutal truth...
Sex is REALLY fun. Younger people are still learning and experimenting with ...
- 3,005
7
votes
Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits
From the perspective of someone who has been on the far end of this situation, I would say follow the advice of other posters and be as welcoming as you can to both of them. If their relationship is ...
- 8,987
7
votes
My son's girlfriend has been cheating with my best friend's son. Should I get involved?
Whilst all these answers are arguably just opinion-based, my advice would be to sit down with his girlfriend and simply say either she tells your son, or you do. Hopefully she has the decency to ...
- 161
7
votes
How to deal with children when parents are caught in the act?
For most of history, and in much of the world today, privacy was/is a privilege of the wealthy. Having appropriate behaviors modeled in the family context is not necessarily unhealthy. If they don't ...
- 3,647
6
votes
What are appropriate boundaries between siblings?
My wife and I raised three daughters and two sons, and the situation you describe is normal for that kind of mixed environment.
Both children are old enough to understand the differences between ...
- 395
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