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166 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

I was 19 and ran off with a 27 year old woman from America. (I'm British and she is American). My mother disowned me and we didn't speak for a year. My relationship with my wife lasted 16 years and ...
user2694864's user avatar
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69 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

I don't know what to do, do I let them get on with it or should I try to explain my above concerns at the risk of pushing them together? Why not do both? It's natural to be concerned. You might also ...
Peter's user avatar
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48 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

Several answers already, but I want to address a couple of your concerns. You are worried about your daughter missing opportunities (travelling, studies). I started dating my wife when she was ...
Martin Argerami's user avatar
34 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

The general rule of thumb for age appropriateness is half plus 7. The obligatory XKCD cartoon: 25 and 17 is slightly over. However, generally speaking women mature earlier than men. Assuming your ...
Pete's user avatar
  • 383
17 votes
Accepted

What to do when we are concerned about the sexualisation of our 20-month-old son?

About 1 in 10 children discover masturbation before puberty. And the majority of those discover it in infancy or as toddlers. It is almost never a sign of abuse or sexual misconduct, and there is no ...
Jump for Joy's user avatar
14 votes

Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits

I am at a loss as to how to repair this relationship with the son now. I don't want to push them together by expressing my dislike of her and this whole situation to him, however, I fear this will be ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
13 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

I don't know if it helps, but when I met my girlfriend she was 16 and I was 23, one year later we came together. At that age I was working but lived with my mother. She went to high school and lived ...
matthew3r's user avatar
  • 261
11 votes

My son's girlfriend has been cheating with my best friend's son. Should I get involved?

I'd let your son know this girl is Bad News, and why, and advise him to drop her like a hot iron. This girl is not worth fighting over. He should also get tested for STD's and treated if necessary. I'...
pojo-guy's user avatar
  • 3,697
11 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

Is it love? You have not even mentioned that important fact. As others have said, you need to have some serious talks with your daughter. If she thinks she is in love, but the subject of marriage has ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
11 votes

How to deal with children when parents are caught in the act?

From personal experience coming to terms with how soon kids these days are being exposed to information about "sacred" acts, my overall recommendation is to be open and honest with a view to educate ...
scorpiodawg's user avatar
10 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

As a guy who watched lots of the girls his age at college start to date guys 5+ years older than themselves I remember feeling jealous at the great insight they were able to get from those experiences....
Chuck Muffinn's user avatar
8 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

First and foremost, let me just state, I think I get where you're coming from. You have legitimate concerns: What do they have in common? What experiences and mutual understanding could they even ...
mtraceur's user avatar
  • 365
8 votes

Finding out who initiated sexual contact. What needs to be done?

I have one question...who's supposed to be watching them when this happens? This is not an accusatory question or in any way meant to point a finger, however, it is the standard question I have when ...
Dejah Roman's user avatar
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8 votes

How do I change my son's views, after he confessed to me that he rather be with prostitutes over having an actual girlfriend?

Growing up I had a friend who feared things in life too, I remember talking to him when he was around 17. To him he wanted a stable job in his uncle's factory, nothing in management. He wanted a ...
PensiveWriter's user avatar
8 votes

How to deal with children when parents are caught in the act?

For most of history, and in much of the world today, privacy was/is a privilege of the wealthy. Having appropriate behaviors modeled in the family context is not necessarily unhealthy. If they don't ...
pojo-guy's user avatar
  • 3,697
8 votes
Accepted

Should we be concerned about preschool siblings playing "sexual" games?

This kind of "playing doctor" seems pretty common and nothing to be overly worried about, though I don't have any statistics (reliable ones would be difficult to collect, to put it mildly). ...
Paul Johnson's user avatar
  • 10.3k
7 votes

Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits

From the perspective of someone who has been on the far end of this situation, I would say follow the advice of other posters and be as welcoming as you can to both of them. If their relationship is ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
7 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

One thing which no other post has covered, and which you probably don't want to hear, but is the plain and brutal truth... Sex is REALLY fun. Younger people are still learning and experimenting with ...
Graham's user avatar
  • 2,995
7 votes

My son's girlfriend has been cheating with my best friend's son. Should I get involved?

Whilst all these answers are arguably just opinion-based, my advice would be to sit down with his girlfriend and simply say either she tells your son, or you do. Hopefully she has the decency to ...
PensiveWriter's user avatar
6 votes

What are appropriate boundaries between siblings?

My wife and I raised three daughters and two sons, and the situation you describe is normal for that kind of mixed environment. Both children are old enough to understand the differences between ...
Omegacron's user avatar
  • 395
6 votes

How do I change my son's views, after he confessed to me that he rather be with prostitutes over having an actual girlfriend?

Now hold on there. Escorts and prostitution aren't the same thing. Escorts usually have their own escorts with them to make sure things don't go south. Prostitutes... well, just hit the tenderloin in ...
Kai Qing's user avatar
  • 4,582
6 votes

Five-year-old son constantly fondling himself - is it normal?

It's perfectly normal- my own used to do the same- though he's always been something of a "fiddler" and likes to fidget with everything from the seams of his trousers, to whatever he's got in his ...
FeralSquirrel's user avatar
5 votes

My son's girlfriend has been cheating with my best friend's son. Should I get involved?

The beef is not between Bob and Chester. This is about Bob and Alice. If you tell him enforce this is not about Chester. This is a decision Alice made. As for telling him. I know a friend of mine ...
paparazzo's user avatar
  • 322
4 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

Your main motivation is probably to protect your daughter from whatever harm may befall her. I would concentrate on exactly this, and only this. This means that you leave everything regarding ...
AnoE's user avatar
  • 2,800
4 votes

Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits

I don't think I can personally relate but I'd take a stab at some general opinion on the matter - Consider the concept of a celebrity publicly apologizing. You know it's fake. They're just doing it ...
Kai Qing's user avatar
  • 4,582
4 votes

Should we be concerned about preschool siblings playing "sexual" games?

I volunteer with young children regularly and have had to do research and training into child psychology as a result. Everything below should match the general conciseness from child psychologists ...
dsollen's user avatar
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3 votes

How to respond to 17 year old daughter going out with a 25 year old man?

Get to know him as a friend I heard stories from my parents: when he took her home after a date, it was her bedtime (she was in high school), so she would retire to her room. But he would stay on ...
JDługosz's user avatar
  • 217
3 votes

My son is 5 years old and sexually active

Please note this answer was to another, less worrying question. In that case, the OP was noting sexual activity between 2 young children of the same age. I think this is a normal part of child ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
3 votes

Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?

This is a good starting point for acting as a role model for teaching limits and boundaries. This is how we handled it. Our children have "golden time", a time and space for them to do what they want, ...
Ourjamie's user avatar
  • 477

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