13
votes
What are the options when the mother of a 7 year old is imprisoned?
That question and answer you linked said everything about why you absolutely should tell the child the truth. At seven your grand is perfectly capable of understanding the concepts of right and wrong; ...
- 17.5k
11
votes
Accepted
Preparing and handling 1-month absence of father for 3.5 year-old
In my experience there's not a lot of pre-preparation you can do with the child at that age; it's hard to understand the concept of 'future' at 3. Tell her that you're going on a trip, but focus on ...
- 61.8k
9
votes
Accepted
Couple separated 18 months ago (irremediably), sharing custody of two children. Good or bad idea to share weekend experience together with the kids?
I wouldn't beat around the bush. Tell them straight what is happening.
At ages 12 and 10 the children are certainly old enough to understand that their parents want them to have a great time on a ...
- 1,040
9
votes
Duplicate or single Christmas tree?
I admire the practical desire to not duplicate toys, items and experiences with your kids. They probably don't need two of the exact same toy or need to go to the zoo with mom one day then back the ...
- 13.3k
8
votes
How to help my 10-year-old daughter who is upset because her dad is not in her life?
Her situation is very similar to that of children who were adopted, except that one of her parents is her biological mother. Adopted children ask many of the same questions that your daughter is ...
- 8,987
8
votes
Is an 8 week trip abroad an appropriate time away for a 14 year old?
Everything looks fine about the trip (reputable group with long, positive track record, worthy cause, etc.) except for one thing: It is 8 weeks long.
Is this a group that has a lot of experience ...
- 243
8
votes
Accepted
Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?
Is it true that leaving such a young baby with his grandparents could
create long-term trauma?
Unfortunately, I don't think there is any scientific evidence one way or another. I could not find any ...
- 2,758
8
votes
Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other
I fear your children will learn your wife's method of dealing with strife or rebuff or setback. You might start documenting such incidents for possible future use in legal proceedings concerning ...
- 774
7
votes
Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?
I'm currently researching this exact same question, and managed to find one study so far, which does find negative correlations with later child behaviour at age 3 and 5, but its not experimental and ...
- 71
7
votes
Accepted
Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other
Being emotionally available to your children is probably the best thing you can do for them in such a situation. Make time just for them, and make it about them. Regardless of what your goals for ...
- 1,161
7
votes
During and after a separation - explaining to children who their "family" is
This answer is geared towards a very specific situation. Answers that focus just on the question above (perhaps more practical advice) are explicitly encouraged as per the OP’s request.
————-
I am ...
- 18.2k
7
votes
Does separating necessarily cause damage?
Very young children are in some ways more adaptable to changes than older kids who may have complex doubts and fears about the change in family living situation. Soon living and sleeping apart and ...
- 7,614
6
votes
How to help my 10-year-old daughter who is upset because her dad is not in her life?
My gut instinct.
There's something going on. Your daughter has a problem, which she feels only a "real" dad would solve. It's strange that after four years of not seeing her biological father, she ...
- 395
6
votes
6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact
First, I think you have to understand what causes this distress. It feels "normal" to me that a 6yo prefers to stay at his Dad's place during a weekend than his Mom's place during weekdays, and this ...
- 163
6
votes
Preparing and handling 1-month absence of father for 3.5 year-old
I've been travelling extensively for business when my son was 2-3 yo, and he was really fond of short (10-20 min) but regular (once a day) Skype calls which he had been prepared to wait for. It was ...
- 61
6
votes
How to build a relationship with my 14-year-old son I was stopped from seeing and who now just looks for money from me?
How can I create a healthy relationship with him?
With time, great effort and a significant amount of difficulty. Let me emphasize time. He's in a difficult stage right now, and his expectations for ...
- 69.8k
6
votes
5 year-old (divorced parents) tells dad he doesn't love him
The things we hear about "love" as a child (and adult) are confusing, conflicting, and often do not at all reflect how "love" actually feels.
Radio plays songs that describe "...
- 466
5
votes
How can I, as a father, help develop my 5-year-old daughter's self-esteem?
There are many ways and I'd say that whatever you do has to feel natural and easy for you. It cannot be faked and must be real.
This is one idea I used. I'd look for little things to make an honest ...
- 17.5k
5
votes
Accepted
How would a child view a move based on materialism?
Wanting to move for better living conditions isn't a bad thing in and of itself. It does show a concern for the well-being of your family. However, better living conditions alone may not be a ...
- 13.3k
4
votes
Accepted
Should I make contact with my son's dad after 3 years?
No.Do not make the first step again.
This is a difficult question to answer. My takeaway from the context is that your child's father shows little consistency and not much in responsibility. Children ...
- 477
4
votes
My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?
From what you write, it sounds like the boy has been living with his mother and father (though possibly not in the biological sense) for the last 12 years in a stable family.
If his parents want him ...
- 8,675
4
votes
How and when to tell my 5-year-old son that his "daddy" is gone?
When my 5 year old had to face the prospect of death (several family members passed in as many months) we had a long discussion about change. I used the example how cutting down a large tree allows ...
- 119
4
votes
Accepted
How to handle a child who acts out trying to reunite separated parents
I suppose that much depends on how old your child is. I'll assume for the sake of an answer that he's in the 8-11 age range (if he's younger, then I think possibility a -- see below -- becomes more ...
- 8,675
4
votes
Does separating necessarily cause damage?
From my experience of my parents very messy divorce as a 10 year old (so old enough to have a little understanding of what was going on)
It is the anger of the separation that caused me most pain.
...
- 1,297
4
votes
Accepted
8 month old misses father on long trip
At 8 months, it's possible your son is going to through his stranger anxiety phase where he will be more reserved around new people. Similarly this is where separation anxiety from his primary ...
- 1,077
3
votes
My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?
There are so many variables that this may be impossible to answer.
Put the boy and your own children first.
Your husband should do nothing (imo) before talking it out with the mother of his possible ...
- 17.5k
3
votes
6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact
I'd like to recommend the book: Never Split the Difference, which is a negotiating book. Using some of the techniques you can help him and you identify feelings that are leading to irrational ...
- 265
3
votes
6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact
Have you also considered that he may be giving you something he thinks you want? Do YOU talk about how much you're going to miss him once he goes? Keep bringing up the deadline to push activities ...
- 1,115
3
votes
Couple separated 18 months ago (irremediably), sharing custody of two children. Good or bad idea to share weekend experience together with the kids?
I'm not an expert but I lived this situation myself.
As far as the parents hang out well, and never argue, that's ok, otherwise it'll turn good days into nightmares ( the chance of ruining the ...
- 161
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