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13 votes

What are the options when the mother of a 7 year old is imprisoned?

That question and answer you linked said everything about why you absolutely should tell the child the truth. At seven your grand is perfectly capable of understanding the concepts of right and wrong; ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
11 votes
Accepted

Preparing and handling 1-month absence of father for 3.5 year-old

In my experience there's not a lot of pre-preparation you can do with the child at that age; it's hard to understand the concept of 'future' at 3. Tell her that you're going on a trip, but focus on ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.9k
9 votes
Accepted

Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?

Is it true that leaving such a young baby with his grandparents could create long-term trauma? Unfortunately, I don't think there is any scientific evidence one way or another. I could not find any ...
sleske's user avatar
  • 2,768
9 votes
Accepted

Couple separated 18 months ago (irremediably), sharing custody of two children. Good or bad idea to share weekend experience together with the kids?

I wouldn't beat around the bush. Tell them straight what is happening. At ages 12 and 10 the children are certainly old enough to understand that their parents want them to have a great time on a ...
Stephen's user avatar
  • 1,040
9 votes

Duplicate or single Christmas tree?

I admire the practical desire to not duplicate toys, items and experiences with your kids. They probably don't need two of the exact same toy or need to go to the zoo with mom one day then back the ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
8 votes

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

I fear your children will learn your wife's method of dealing with strife or rebuff or setback. You might start documenting such incidents for possible future use in legal proceedings concerning ...
Zayde in NY's user avatar
7 votes

Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?

I'm currently researching this exact same question, and managed to find one study so far, which does find negative correlations with later child behaviour at age 3 and 5, but its not experimental and ...
Lee's user avatar
  • 71
7 votes
Accepted

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

Being emotionally available to your children is probably the best thing you can do for them in such a situation. Make time just for them, and make it about them. Regardless of what your goals for ...
zugzwang's user avatar
  • 1,151
7 votes

During and after a separation - explaining to children who their "family" is

This answer is geared towards a very specific situation. Answers that focus just on the question above (perhaps more practical advice) are explicitly encouraged as per the OP’s request. ————- I am ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
7 votes

Does separating necessarily cause damage?

Very young children are in some ways more adaptable to changes than older kids who may have complex doubts and fears about the change in family living situation. Soon living and sleeping apart and ...
Meg's user avatar
  • 7,894
6 votes

6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact

First, I think you have to understand what causes this distress. It feels "normal" to me that a 6yo prefers to stay at his Dad's place during a weekend than his Mom's place during weekdays, and this ...
le_daim's user avatar
  • 163
6 votes

Preparing and handling 1-month absence of father for 3.5 year-old

I've been travelling extensively for business when my son was 2-3 yo, and he was really fond of short (10-20 min) but regular (once a day) Skype calls which he had been prepared to wait for. It was ...
Meadowlark's user avatar
6 votes

How to build a relationship with my 14-year-old son I was stopped from seeing and who now just looks for money from me?

How can I create a healthy relationship with him? With time, great effort and a significant amount of difficulty. Let me emphasize time. He's in a difficult stage right now, and his expectations for ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
6 votes

5 year-old (divorced parents) tells dad he doesn't love him

The things we hear about "love" as a child (and adult) are confusing, conflicting, and often do not at all reflect how "love" actually feels. Radio plays songs that describe "...
Rororo's user avatar
  • 466
5 votes

My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?

From what you write, it sounds like the boy has been living with his mother and father (though possibly not in the biological sense) for the last 12 years in a stable family. If his parents want him ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
5 votes

How can I, as a father, help develop my 5-year-old daughter's self-esteem?

There are many ways and I'd say that whatever you do has to feel natural and easy for you. It cannot be faked and must be real. This is one idea I used. I'd look for little things to make an honest ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
5 votes
Accepted

How would a child view a move based on materialism?

Wanting to move for better living conditions isn't a bad thing in and of itself. It does show a concern for the well-being of your family. However, better living conditions alone may not be a ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
4 votes

How and when to tell my 5-year-old son that his "daddy" is gone?

When my 5 year old had to face the prospect of death (several family members passed in as many months) we had a long discussion about change. I used the example how cutting down a large tree allows ...
r.zip's user avatar
  • 119
4 votes
Accepted

How to handle a child who acts out trying to reunite separated parents

I suppose that much depends on how old your child is. I'll assume for the sake of an answer that he's in the 8-11 age range (if he's younger, then I think possibility a -- see below -- becomes more ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
4 votes

Does separating necessarily cause damage?

From my experience of my parents very messy divorce as a 10 year old (so old enough to have a little understanding of what was going on) It is the anger of the separation that caused me most pain. ...
WendyG's user avatar
  • 1,297
4 votes
Accepted

8 month old misses father on long trip

At 8 months, it's possible your son is going to through his stranger anxiety phase where he will be more reserved around new people. Similarly this is where separation anxiety from his primary ...
jcmack's user avatar
  • 1,065
3 votes

Should I reach out to my 5-year-old's absent father?

This is a very hard question, but here are a few questions you should ask yourself: Since he knows your son, he would have any chance to contact you, or not? So, unless you were moving or the dad ...
Frank Waller's user avatar
3 votes

My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?

There are so many variables that this may be impossible to answer. Put the boy and your own children first. Your husband should do nothing (imo) before talking it out with the mother of his possible ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
3 votes

6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact

I'd like to recommend the book: Never Split the Difference, which is a negotiating book. Using some of the techniques you can help him and you identify feelings that are leading to irrational ...
Pete B.'s user avatar
  • 265
3 votes

6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact

Have you also considered that he may be giving you something he thinks you want? Do YOU talk about how much you're going to miss him once he goes? Keep bringing up the deadline to push activities ...
Michael Broughton's user avatar
3 votes

Couple separated 18 months ago (irremediably), sharing custody of two children. Good or bad idea to share weekend experience together with the kids?

I'm not an expert but I lived this situation myself. As far as the parents hang out well, and never argue, that's ok, otherwise it'll turn good days into nightmares ( the chance of ruining the ...
A.Danzi's user avatar
  • 161
3 votes

How can we prevent crying when a parent leaves for work?

I agree with a lot of some of the suggestions others have shared, like warning them ahead of time. Here is something I don't think others have presented: When my son or daughter is very upset about ...
tsultrim's user avatar
3 votes

Dad makes little effort to see his daughter - to what degree should I encourage contact?

IMO, you absolutely need to encourage dad to see his daughter. She doesn't care at all about the things you do, she just knows he's not around, and that will create anxiety. Depending upon her age ...
Pooh's user avatar
  • 175
3 votes

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

I would wait and see how the morning or day goes. If your children seem to notice and wonder, you can still say something along the lines of Mommy is still angry with daddy. We had an argument ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
3 votes

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

I don’t think it’s necessary to say that you had a fight, per se - there have been a few times when it was obvious to my son that my husband and I were in a very bad place with one another emotionally,...
MAA's user avatar
  • 3,213

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