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53

Of all your suggestions, only one really says “it’s not ok to kick the dinosaurs”. The other are sending a different message, which can be summed up as Don’t do it when [some else with more power] sees it, because there may be undesirable consequences. The logical next step for some clever kids is to do exactly what you don’t want them to do the moment ...


41

Our daughter intellectually understands our reasoning and accepted our decision without fuss. But of course she was disappointed and sad on the evening of the party. This is a good outcome and probably the best you can hope for. It's perfectly okay and normal to be sad & disappointed, I would be too. How can we help our children deal with situations ...


27

Something that hasn't been addressed is why the child is kicking the dinosaur. They are bored with the park or this exhibit ("Hey, don't damage the exhibits. If you're bored let's go and see the XYZ.") They are imagining fighting a dinosaur (Acknowledge the story. Compliment their bravery etc. Engage the imagination by talking about fighting a ...


21

Just to add to what other posters have said, this can be a good time to give a child a lesson in empathy as well. Something like "Well, that dinosaur belongs to someone. Would you like it if someone kicked your <favourite toy, games console, etc>?". They would most likely say no, so then the obvious next question is "Why not?"


18

Quietly and politely, tell the child to please not kick the dino and give the best possible (age-appropriate) reason. Something like "Please don't kick the dino. The dinos in the park are not for kicking. If other kids start kicking them, the dinos will fall apart and then next time we come to the park, there will be nothing to play with." ...


17

What should I do? Do not engage in a power struggle with your son. It's a lose-lose situation; it will cause him to resent you if you win, and it will cause untold damage for both him and you if he wins, because it will teach him something damaging. Power struggles aren't the way successful people achieve their goals in the real world unless the issue is ...


14

(Good) rules exist because there's something that's tempting to do but can cause bad things to happen. Frequently these bad things are not guaranteed and perhaps not even likely to happen, which can make breaking the rule tempting. No rules are inherently rewarding all the time when you follow them or punishing all the time when you break them, or the rule ...


10

You're saying you want to change your mind and take the computer back, but I'm assuming from your open question (and from that it in general seems like a sensible thing to do) that you'll also be open to suggestions on how to help him find a more constructive use of his computer time more in line with what you had in mind when you bought it. I find your son'...


8

Why not simply tell him the true reason? "You shouldn't damage the thing because it isn't yours." Because it is the correct and logical answer, this one is more likely to work than the others and get the kid to learn something useful. Then you could explain using simple examples: "If you have a toy you don't like, maybe you want to break it or ...


6

Here are some pros and cons that I can think of: "The watchmen will reprimand you if he sees you" Pros: Communicating that social rules are enforced Teaching that actions may have consequences Convenient as you as a parent are not saying no Cons: Not communicating your own position on the matter (which means that the main message - that ...


3

Have you thought about why you don't want your kid to vandalize things? No "authoritative" answer will be as convincing as your very own and authentic feelings and thoughts on the matter. Even "I don't want you to break it, because I like how it looks" will work better than any fake answer parroted from the internet. Kids have great BS ...


2

You can re-frame this as a question of cooperation. If you hold the door for someone who is carrying something heavy then it is extra work for you and a benefit to them. Society is about mutual cooperation. If you hold the door for someone today, then tomorrow you might be carrying something heavy and someone might hold the door for you. The benefit of ...


2

Dealing with this kind of thing starts at home. What do you say/do when he kicks something at home? In my home there is an emphasis on looking after our possessions. "Don't throw that, you'll break it, and then you can't play with it anymore. We look after our possessions." Emphasis on looking after our own things, because they are valuable and we ...


1

Actually both (2) and (3) are almost as bad as (1) because they only can be applied if someone knows what they did wrong. The question you need to ask yourself is not "How do I correct behaviour X?" but rather "Why is behaviour X wrong?" and "Why should anyone share my judgement of right and wrong regarding X?". And there is ...


1

First and foremost, we model very carefully and very visibly the behaviors with our children. We talk about the things we are missing that we really miss - I can't go to gymnastics, my wife can't go to the movies, we can't take a trip to go skiing; we talk about that frequently with the children, because it helps them normalize their feelings and puts them ...


1

Human beings are generally habit beings. We learn habits and then use them in auto pilot. Here our goal becomes learning the habits which will not cause us to crash later. When evaluated in only one scenario, breaking the rules can seem rewarding however we are subconsciously training our minds that breaking the rules is rewarding. When we evaluate based on ...


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