54
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What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Of all your suggestions, only one really says “it’s not ok to kick the dinosaurs”. The other are sending a different message, which can be summed up as
Don’t do it when [some else with more power] ...
- 17.6k
41
votes
Accepted
How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?
Our daughter intellectually understands our reasoning and accepted our decision without fuss. But of course she was disappointed and sad on the evening of the party.
This is a good outcome and ...
- 6,712
35
votes
Accepted
6 Year Old meal Time expectations
This parent is of the strong opinion that if the kid does not eat a proper amount for every meal, on a structured timetable the kid will fall behind (growth wise, intelligence wise, discipline wise).
...
- 2,035
32
votes
Accepted
8-year-old right away repeats action after she is told not to do them
I've read that children often overhear the "not" part of a request --
Instead of saying "don't do X" they hear "do X".
Instead of telling what not to do, tell them what you want them to do.
Instead ...
- 34.4k
27
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Something that hasn't been addressed is why the child is kicking the dinosaur.
They are bored with the park or this exhibit ("Hey, don't damage the exhibits. If you're bored let's go and see the ...
- 1,392
21
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What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Just to add to what other posters have said, this can be a good time to give a child a lesson in empathy as well. Something like "Well, that dinosaur belongs to someone. Would you like it if ...
- 311
18
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Quietly and politely, tell the child to please not kick the dino and give the best possible (age-appropriate) reason. Something like "Please don't kick the dino. The dinos in the park are not for ...
- 5,066
17
votes
Son threatens to fail high school if we don't let him keep his laptop
What should I do?
Do not engage in a power struggle with your son. It's a lose-lose situation; it will cause him to resent you if you win, and it will cause untold damage for both him and you if he ...
- 66.9k
14
votes
How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?
(Good) rules exist because there's something that's tempting to do but can cause bad things to happen. Frequently these bad things are not guaranteed and perhaps not even likely to happen, which can ...
- 321
13
votes
At what age should you allow your kids to go out alone?
First of all, you must check your country's laws. In Poland it's illegal to leave children without supervision when they're under 7 years old (there are several exceptions though).
You should allow ...
- 9,971
13
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Accepted
How to approach a stubborn parent about a rule that is harming my studying
There is no reason not to speak to the neighbors, find out about their routine & figure something out that is reasonable & respects everyone involved. I have a neighbor whose teen is in a ...
- 7,310
12
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Accepted
Are my parents bullying my spouse with house rules?
Your mother may think she's acting in loco parentis, so I'll answer this.
Are these rules a form of bullying? Or are they status quo and most parent's would enforce them given these circumstances?
...
- 66.9k
11
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8-year-old right away repeats action after she is told not to do them
Children, but adults also, tend to accept request better if you motivate it. I know it can be hard sometimes, but that also forces you to think about WHY you're exactly asking that and eventually not ...
- 2,205
10
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Son threatens to fail high school if we don't let him keep his laptop
You're saying you want to change your mind and take the computer back, but I'm assuming from your open question (and from that it in general seems like a sensible thing to do) that you'll also be open ...
- 10.6k
9
votes
How competitive or forgiving to be when playing games against my own kids
I'd say the basic premise is to always encourage progression.
Stage 1 is to ensure they can do the basics - can they dribble and pass a football or do they know how each chess piece can move? For ...
- 1,231
9
votes
What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Why not simply tell him the true reason?
"You shouldn't damage the thing because it isn't yours."
Because it is the correct and logical answer, this one is more likely to work than the ...
- 505
8
votes
8-year-old right away repeats action after she is told not to do them
I've found that even though I'm speaking the same language they know, they sometimes don't fully hear or understand, and even when they do they believe that if they change their activity slightly then ...
- 6,533
8
votes
How can a parent who is known by their child or teen not to be teetotal raise their offspring in sobriety?
I personally think any black-or-white approach to substances or behaviours that may be harmful in excess is not the best way to choose.
I will on purpose ignore legal aspects for most of this answer (...
- 17.6k
7
votes
8-year-old right away repeats action after she is told not to do them
Humans communicate very ambiguously, requiring a lot of cultural experience to be able to discern our full meaning. Eight-year-olds are right in the sweet spot, where it seems like they should know ...
- 35.8k
6
votes
Accepted
How to deal with children going to friend's houses to bypass rules
This is one of the harder things we deal with as well; parents who have different rules than us, in both directions. Some of our (nearly 7 year old) son's friends' parents are more strict about ...
- 58.3k
6
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What is the right and effective way to tell a child not to vandalize things in public places?
Here are some pros and cons that I can think of:
"The watchmen will reprimand you if he sees you"
Pros:
Communicating that social rules are enforced
Teaching that actions may have ...
- 199
5
votes
At what age should you allow your kids to go out alone?
Be sure to check the laws where you live. Legal and reasonable don't always overlap.
When I was growing up in Canada, at 3-4 we would cross the street or go to the neighbors house alone. By 5 i and ...
- 3,637
5
votes
8-year-old right away repeats action after she is told not to do them
I think you should ignore her and try not to get attached to the outcome of such behaviours.
Because, may be she likes singing and probably thinks why are you having trouble with her singing. If it ...
- 492
5
votes
How competitive or forgiving to be when playing games against my own kids
I agree mostly with @Mikaveli but I would like to show another point of view based on my own experience (I cant comment yet so I answer).
When I was a child my father and me played chess, soccer, ...
- 191
4
votes
Accepted
How to set boundaries for a 7-month-old?
Set boundaries mostly by making the setup more easy for the children to stay within boundaries, reminding them to do so, praising when they do so, and (less frequently) saying "no" and/or punishing ...
- 5,066
4
votes
Indulging mobile game obsession Pokémon Go in 6-year old
As video game addictions go, Pokemon Go is one of the better ones. The value of having your child outside and walking around is tremendous.
I see two possibilities here. Either he is actually ...
- 8,937
4
votes
Indulging mobile game obsession Pokémon Go in 6-year old
I would say while Screentime is always an important decision, in this case I see it as substantially more positive than negative.
Addressing your concerns
He isn't isolated or using it to avoid ...
- 191
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