45
votes
Accepted
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
You've chosen to become an instant parent to an older child, and this is wonderful, for both of you.
Just to be clear, recovery is by definition the process of dredging up the past to deal with it. ...
- 2,884
34
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
so I decided to just work through it with him
Children are not miniature adults. Their brains literally do not work the same way. They're no more capable of reasoning in the same way as an adult ...
- 3,005
15
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
After some calm discussion, he admitted that he preferred to lie to
tell us what he thought we wanted to hear (I'm a good boy, I've done
all my jobs, I've made an effort like you asked) so that we ...
- 251
13
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
Not a psychologist, but I have noticed with my FIL (who I think it's fair to say could be verbally abusive with his kids, wife, grandkids, and occasionally even me.) that a typical MO would be to ...
- 2,850
10
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
He probably doesn't know himself yet.
Before your step-son can bond with you, he needs to trust you. And building a trust ...
- 1,067
10
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
It is, even for adults, often very difficult to figure out why a certain thing was done - especially related to talking, which by its nature is something that happens quickly, usually without much ...
- 2,550
9
votes
what do i do if he says i'm harder on her because she isn't my biological daughter
Your boyfriend's comment is a red flag.
Your daughter does not need to be stronger.
Your daughter is completely dependent on you for her health and wellbeing.
No man should be allowed to threaten your ...
- 2,884
8
votes
I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?
If I were you, I would concentrate on my own behavior, not on his.
I agree with Philipp that trust is the key point here. So far, your stepson has learned to survive in a hostile, perhaps violent ...
- 249
6
votes
As a father, should i allow my 5year old son to see me nude?
At that stage nudity has no special meaning for children. They are comfortable running around naked all day (weather permitting) and they don't think anything about other people being naked or not.
...
- 7,059
5
votes
How do I help my child to love her mother more than her grandmother?
Don't make a contest out of it.
Your daughter loves her grandmother. Great, that's awesome.
As long as this doesn't result in some questionable behaviors, I fail to see a problem here. The whole ...
- 7,059
3
votes
what do i do if he says i'm harder on her because she isn't my biological daughter
That "It will make her stronger" line is horsesh*t. What makes people strong is knowing that they have secure foundational relationships, where they feel safe and secure, and are treated ...
- 3,900
2
votes
As a father, should i allow my 5year old son to see me nude?
To my knowledge and experience, when a child of that age sees someone nude, they literally just see someone without clothes on, without any further connotation to it. Their main curiosity will be ...
1
vote
How to let the new 13 year old sibling of my honorary niece/nephew know I'm willing to be an 'uncle' for them too?
Children and teens don't care about the complications, they sense who really cares about them, and gravitate towards those adults.
However, words can mean many things, so how you express your feelings ...
- 2,884
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