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45 votes
Accepted

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

You've chosen to become an instant parent to an older child, and this is wonderful, for both of you. Just to be clear, recovery is by definition the process of dredging up the past to deal with it. ...
Cecilia's user avatar
  • 2,884
34 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

so I decided to just work through it with him Children are not miniature adults. Their brains literally do not work the same way. They're no more capable of reasoning in the same way as an adult ...
Graham's user avatar
  • 3,005
15 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

After some calm discussion, he admitted that he preferred to lie to tell us what he thought we wanted to hear (I'm a good boy, I've done all my jobs, I've made an effort like you asked) so that we ...
Christian's user avatar
  • 251
13 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

Not a psychologist, but I have noticed with my FIL (who I think it's fair to say could be verbally abusive with his kids, wife, grandkids, and occasionally even me.) that a typical MO would be to ...
T.E.D.'s user avatar
  • 2,850
10 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me? He probably doesn't know himself yet. Before your step-son can bond with you, he needs to trust you. And building a trust ...
Philipp's user avatar
  • 1,067
10 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

It is, even for adults, often very difficult to figure out why a certain thing was done - especially related to talking, which by its nature is something that happens quickly, usually without much ...
AnoE's user avatar
  • 2,550
9 votes

what do i do if he says i'm harder on her because she isn't my biological daughter

Your boyfriend's comment is a red flag. Your daughter does not need to be stronger. Your daughter is completely dependent on you for her health and wellbeing. No man should be allowed to threaten your ...
Cecilia's user avatar
  • 2,884
8 votes

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

If I were you, I would concentrate on my own behavior, not on his. I agree with Philipp that trust is the key point here. So far, your stepson has learned to survive in a hostile, perhaps violent ...
sisee's user avatar
  • 249
6 votes

As a father, should i allow my 5year old son to see me nude?

At that stage nudity has no special meaning for children. They are comfortable running around naked all day (weather permitting) and they don't think anything about other people being naked or not. ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,059
5 votes

How do I help my child to love her mother more than her grandmother?

Don't make a contest out of it. Your daughter loves her grandmother. Great, that's awesome. As long as this doesn't result in some questionable behaviors, I fail to see a problem here. The whole ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,059
3 votes

what do i do if he says i'm harder on her because she isn't my biological daughter

That "It will make her stronger" line is horsesh*t. What makes people strong is knowing that they have secure foundational relationships, where they feel safe and secure, and are treated ...
swbarnes2's user avatar
  • 3,900
2 votes

As a father, should i allow my 5year old son to see me nude?

To my knowledge and experience, when a child of that age sees someone nude, they literally just see someone without clothes on, without any further connotation to it. Their main curiosity will be ...
Bart van Ingen Schenau's user avatar
1 vote

How to let the new 13 year old sibling of my honorary niece/nephew know I'm willing to be an 'uncle' for them too?

Children and teens don't care about the complications, they sense who really cares about them, and gravitate towards those adults. However, words can mean many things, so how you express your feelings ...
Cecilia's user avatar
  • 2,884

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