87 votes

Limit access to screens (phone, computer) to my kids, whereas I benefitted from "no limit" during my own childhood

My own upbringing and later career has followed much the same trajectory as you describe, so this is something I too have pondered quite a bit. But as you've already noted, we are indeed no longer in ...
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51 votes
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Convince my wife that the flu vaccine is good for our child

It's possible your wife is mixing the Hygiene Hypothesis with vaccinations. They're unrelated; the Hygiene Hypothesis is related specifically to children getting a particular virus (RSV) before they ...
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43 votes

How to nurture my child to be fearless

It seems to me that being shouted at is likely to make any child cry, particularly by an older child. Shouting is not nice, and intimidating particularly from an older child. Door knocking i've not ...
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25 votes

Limit access to screens (phone, computer) to my kids, whereas I benefitted from "no limit" during my own childhood

My situation is very similar to what you describe: we have multiple kids — one of whom is 9, one slightly older, and one slight younger — I grew up with mostly "unlimited" computer access (...
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22 votes

Limit access to screens (phone, computer) to my kids, whereas I benefitted from "no limit" during my own childhood

In addition to all the other answers, I'd like to concentrate on the addictive behavior you described. Gaming addiction is just as real as drug addiction and very dangerous because many games, ...
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  • 521
19 votes

Limit access to screens (phone, computer) to my kids, whereas I benefitted from "no limit" during my own childhood

The screen is not the problem. I believe we're dealing with a XY problem here. Surely screens are damaging our children irreparably. Breathe. Relax. Grab a cup of tea and consult the wikipedia list ...
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18 votes

How to nurture my child to be fearless

Being brave is not the absence of fear, it is doing the right thing even though you are afraid. Fear is good, it is based off of natural preservation instincts and can warn of danger. You need to ...
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  • 317
13 votes
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What professional helps teach parents how to parent?

Mother in law? More seriously, a parent coach is what you’re looking for. There are also more specific roles, such as a lactation consultant, who would help with specific things, but parent coach is ...
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12 votes

Limit access to screens (phone, computer) to my kids, whereas I benefitted from "no limit" during my own childhood

As you say in your question, the beneficial part of your access to computers was your early exposure to programming and other productive computer skills, and the part that you are concerned about is ...
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  • 219
12 votes

Convince my wife that the flu vaccine is good for our child

and thus make their immune system stronger But that's exactly what vaccination does! It injects (weakened) viruses together with an adjuvant (which puts the immune system on high alert) to trigger an ...
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  • 221
10 votes

After divorce: alternating parents in the kids' home or alternating kids in parents' houses?

I think that as a practical matter it would be easier on the kids to stay in the same home, but I think it would be a strain on the parents and not necessarily effective in the long term. Sharing a ...
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10 votes
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Is there such a thing as too much machine time?

I don't think you'll find studies on this unfortunately, but the concern with screen time is a very different thing than the concern might be with the Roomba or whatnot. From the American Academy of ...
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9 votes

Questions about "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids"

Regarding the second point, the idea is that it teaches the child to do things in an appropriate setting. Instead of spitting inside, we go outside into the garden and have a game there. It's about ...
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9 votes

How to nurture my child to be fearless

Fearlessness is basically stupidity. You can be fearless only if you are stupid enough not to be able to realize the consequences of a serious action or danger. Strength is doing what needs to be ...
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8 votes
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Can a wish when thrusted upon a person from childhood become her own wish?

Parents have a large influence on their children, but not as large as many people think. Biologically speaking, kids tend to be similar to their parents, and that includes sharing interests. Just ...
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8 votes

How to help a teen that wants to learn productive skills, but has entertainment addiction?

I have experienced something similar to your son (although a lot milder I suspect), however I am a professional software engineer and in my very limited free time I make games. Something I've always ...
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  • 777
6 votes

Kid genius help

Just to add to Timur Shtatlands great advice; Try to get gifted children to explore things which they normally would not try, for example, if the child really likes science, it is beneficial to ...
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6 votes

After divorce: alternating parents in the kids' home or alternating kids in parents' houses?

Speaking as a child of divorce, I can tell you: it was inconvenient to keep my belongings in two houses, but it was never alienating. When you and your former spouse split time with the kids, you'll ...
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6 votes

Convince my wife that the flu vaccine is good for our child

I have family members that are also against vaccines. I've seen some answers counteract her concern with facts. But sometime people can be less worried about technical details and more weary of the ...
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5 votes

What professional helps teach parents how to parent?

Child psychologists and child development experts are among the professionals who teach parenting skills. EXAMPLES: Coursera class "Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing" is taught ...
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4 votes

Questions about "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids"

I don't know the specific lines you're referring to. However, the general approach favored by Dr. Markham is to avoid punishments, in favor of setting limits; and responding with empathy when the ...
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4 votes

Explaining death and dealing with mourning for a pre-schooler in an atheist family with religious extended family?

How do we cope with the inevitable talk about my grandmother having 'gone to heaven' during the eventual funeral and afterwards when will have explained things differently to my daughter? I would ...
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4 votes

How to nurture my child to be fearless

I don't think you should worry too much at this stage. It doesn't seem to me that a child's fears at this age are likely to reflect how their personality will turn out when they get older. It sounds ...
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4 votes

After divorce: alternating parents in the kids' home or alternating kids in parents' houses?

We choose two homes within close proximity. Our daughter goes to the same school all the time, but sleeps at either home depending on need. Usually it it is a full week, but if one adult needs to ...
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4 votes

What are some of the risks to a child of a divorce going to trial?

However you settle differences, be it through courts, mediation, handshake over coffee, the impacts to the child are mostly around a) how they see the parents interact, and b) if they get caught in ...
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4 votes

Limit access to screens (phone, computer) to my kids, whereas I benefitted from "no limit" during my own childhood

Like others in this thread I had a similar upbringing to you. When I was younger (say early primary school), I had unrestricted use on the (only) computer in the house. There was a slow and ...
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4 votes
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How to encourage 9 year old boy to start learning new skill

This is something we struggle with as well, at a similar age. What works best for us, though not perfectly, is rather than force him to do it, incent him to do it. Provide some reward for ...
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4 votes

How to help a teen that wants to learn productive skills, but has entertainment addiction?

You describe a very problematic situation, not only because it is frustrating for your son and yourself, but because he is at risk of learning that wholesome success is unattainable for him (despite ...
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  • 1,524
3 votes
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Kid genius help

You could be dealing with a gifted child, perhaps even a so-called "twice exceptional" child. See, for example, the book: Jan Davidson, Bob Davidson, and Laura Vanderkam (2005) "Genius Denied": https:/...
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