58

How are you role modelling this? A lot of grown ups struggle with acknowledging that they've been wrong. Make a point out of telling him about times you've been wrong in the past, and be mindful about openly acknowledging when you're wrong moving forward. Talk to him about the benefits of realizing you're wrong. If you're wrong, accepting that you are is the ...


53

Six years old is old enough to understand gender in a general sense, and it’s definitely old enough to have an intelligent conversation about the complexities of gender. So my answer is to be honest with them and tell them how you feel. If you know, then tell them. If you’re not sure, then say so- and explain why, and what is going on in your head. Say ...


41

Find out why The first thing to do is to find out why he's running away and crying. I am deeply concerned that no-one in your family has apparently even thought to ask him that. If you had, then I would have expected to see that as a major part of your question. If in fact you have, then please edit your question to give us this crucial information. And if ...


39

Your child is six years old, and what you’re describing is a normal, developmentally appropriate reaction. Your job as the parent is to help him learn how to approach difficult tasks, by being supportive and positive, by modeling good strategies, and most importantly by never dismissing his feelings. He feels like it is too hard, and that is okay; the ...


37

A decent approach may be to keep it simple: "I'm still figuring that out", which sounds like a decent summary of where you are at the moment. Most kids are pretty chill about adults admitting we don't know everything, and if they'd like more information, they generally have no problem asking follow-up questions. If that's the case, it might be worth ...


16

It seems to me that there are really two things here: How do you feel about the situation? How to address the situation? While I'd agree that one's emotional state is one's own, and one's outward actions are the more important aspect, I am puzzled by the descriptions of your own emotional states. You describe progressively more intense degrees of anger, ...


13

You say that you find it annoying that he won’t accept that he is wrong, but it sounds equally to me like annoyance that he won’t accept that you are right. In any case, it sounds like being right is important in your household. If being right is a high-status thing in your house, then being wrong must be a low-status thing, so… of course he’s reluctant to ...


12

I’m gobsmacked. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that perhaps in your efforts to be concise you were a little harsh on the way you portrayed yourself? Ok, firstly, homework at age 6? Yes, absolutely, it’s about learning good habits and demonstrating what he’s learned in class, and it should also be about bonding with loving parents over time ...


10

My kid is almost nine, and we have occasional conversations like this too. I suspect the reason they're so irritating is that we don't feel like a nine-year-old has any right to "having the last word." But, what works for me is to allow him the consequence that comes from being right: if he's right and I'm wrong, I acknowledge it; if he's wrong (...


10

It’s entirely normal to not like being tickled. My younger son doesn’t either, and it’s very important that we enable his agency in this. At that age there’s very little they control - but their body should absolutely be one of those things. He isn’t saying he doesn’t like you or anything like that; he’s saying he doesn’t enjoy the feeling of being tickled. ...


9

The answer is incredibly simple: You ask their parents. Period. You're not their parent, so you don't need to get into complex discussions or judge their ability to participate in those discussions. Besides, why stress-out about it. If you're worried the question will arise, simple ask their mum or dad how they want the question answered. And another ...


9

I think you should take a step back and perhaps put yourself in your son's shoes. As a six year old, his highest priority isn't these assignments. It's playing. It's running around and jumping or hanging out with his friends at a park. A mental shift has to occur to get in the mindset for doing schoolwork and it won't happen for a while - years even. This is ...


8

My nine year old was like you describe until relatively recently. In the past year or so, he's made significant strides; he'll now often say "You're right" in that matter of fact tone that means he gives his seal of approval to your statement. I think that this is something that happens for most children; they mature out of having to be always ...


7

One of my happiest moments with my (slightly older but similar age) kids was the first time watching Home Alone. After that movie was over, they spent hours playing pranks and setting traps all around the house. It was great fun and then they learned the lesson of ‘if you build it you must clean it up,’ and also had a few times where I pointed out that it ...


7

Well, here's some things for you to think about - a few slaps to warm your ears. Firstly, from your description it seems that you are far too harsh with your son, and you seem unempathetic. A child needs to know that their parent love and respect them, and that they can come to you with any problem at all and find comfort and understanding - and possibly ...


6

The best way to get your son to respond to questions of this nature is to wait until he is about 25, and then just ask him. That's about when, in my experience, many children actually are willing to answer questions freely :) However, assuming you are hoping to get some answers now, my suggestion is to follow the child. This means initiating conversations ...


6

First consider that your child might have ADHD. Read about it here (search ADD and ADHD or click this adhd tag) If it's likely, have the child tested and take things from there as well. Mind you, I'm pretty proud of his loquacity. It sounds as though loquacity may (consciously or unconsciously) have been encouraged by you. This is no different than ...


5

The obvious answer is to stop buying diapers. Undies only. If she messes her undies, she changes clothes, and rinses the dirty ones. You don't get mad or upset, you just present this as a natural consequence of peeing in her clothes. She'll realize pretty quick that stopping to tinkle is better than stopping to clean up a mess.


5

Wikipedia lists the causes of attention-seeking in adults. Excessive parental attention in childhood is not one of them. If anything, I would expect lack of attention to be a cause, as the child becomes desperate for attention and learns that the only way to get attention is to demand it. However this is a complicated issue. It also implies that the way you ...


5

Disclaimer: I don't believe in the use of any form of punishment in parenting, and I further believe that if a consequence is being arbitrarily decided by a parent, then that's just a punishment with the added insult that the parent won't even own up to the fact that it is, so I'll have none of those either. You've already identified that you have two, ...


5

It is always worth discovering if there is a real reason for fear. It's possible this is not oversensitivity but a reaction to some past event. Do you remember when the behaviour started? Was it immediately, the first time homework was assigned? Or was it after the homework was first submitted? Adults can sometimes unwittingly use phrases that work for one ...


4

This is about control. By telling your son he's wrong and you're not, you're telling him: I'm in control here, you're not. It is this message he is refusing to accept. You're exerting your authority. He wants some authority over his own life. So put him in control, as Tanaya writes. I'd be even less confrontational about it: Situation A: Me: "You may ...


4

If you are helping with homework during the Covid-19 stay-in-place, that is not mentioned and also may be a big contributor with anxiety that your child is experiencing in addition to the push to do homework. Parents need to step back during the pandemic and lessen the stress on children, not add to it. As an advocate for disabled students for over 25 years, ...


3

Taking the diapers away is a great suggestion so I would start with that, but I want to offer a next step and slightly more extreme option if she still messes her underwear and it doesn't seem to bother her (like with our stubborn son..) Granted our son was just shy of 4 years old and not 6, but we ended up finally taking his pants and underwear off and not ...


3

It sounds to me like you've already done a good job of identifying some of the reasons why the child might not tell the parent. Now the task is to reassure the child that their worries will be taken seriously. As parents, our primary task is to keep our children safe, and there are certainly things we absolutely cannot tolerate. But if we are serious about ...


3

All of these interactions seem like you are trying to boss or embarrass him, which is something kids tend to dislike. Situation A with the shirt: why does it matter to you that his shirt is on backward? Unless it is wearing shorts and flip flops during a blizzard, I tend to just shrug and say something like "looks uncomfortable. Fix it if you want."...


3

Your son is putting together things that seem to me pretty advanced for his age. I recommend the following: Get construction kits for kids (physical kits, not apps) that your child can use without supervision. Buy a set of real tools, preferably lightweight, and do real, fun projects with your child. Make sure to use proper protective equipment (e.g., ...


3

I occasionally resort to comparisons to the workplace, to help parents reflect on how they're seen through the child's eyes. Many adults have a boss who is an authority over them, and that is in some regards the closest thing to a parent that they can relate to. Bosses, like parents over children, to some extent decide over employees. When we're yelling, or ...


2

It's simple. We have a 4 and 7 year old boys whom both neglected to flush and wash their hands with soap and water after a number one or worse a number two. Big bug bear!!!! But I made a little rhyme for them to remember and IT WORKS 😊😊😊 "Wee, poo, flush the loo and wash your hands right after" The youngest then taught his elder brother and now they ...


2

No, you should not be worried. Boys need their fathers, and he's making up for lost time. And 4 year olds tend to think about only one thing at a time. If your relationship changes for the worse after he is back with you, then you could worry, but I doubt that will happen.


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