72

Pregnancy and how it affects the mother is an intense stew of physical and hormonal changes. Each child may come with a different "stew" recipe. Sounds like the father of her original child didn't stick around, so maybe there's some sub-conscious anxiety as this brings back memories and feelings that preceded that event/issue, as well. In any case, how she'...


64

When we are confronted with a situation in our lives where what we believe doesn't match up to how we're living, we have two choices: Change our beliefs or change our actions. I think I know that tightness in your chest, and when I've experienced it, it's when what I am is not what I want to be. Other posters have suggested the latter. Get out for sure, ...


55

I'm going to focus on this one thing that you said, because it's one of the only things you said about what you want, as opposed to all the stuff you are experiencing that you don't want: I want to be important and powerful and change the world. Well, I have good news and bad news about that. First the bad news. I'm going to be brutally honest here. ...


50

You're only 25 years old, your oldest hasn't even started school yet, your youngest is 9 months old, and you want another? Wow, your wife is in a hurry. My immediate impression is that your wife is living in a dream world, striving toward some fantasy that she perhaps hasn't shared with you yet. You definitely need to talk more - and go deeper in those ...


41

As the other answers suggested, it's very likely that whatever you put will come of as weird. Still, it's an honest and reasonable sentiment, so it's kind of frustrating that it can't be expressed as such. Here's my best effort (to be placed in relatively small print at the bottom of the invitation): Gifts are welcome, but not necessary. If you would like ...


40

If there's one thing I'd communicate to a new parent-to-be, it's to completely clear out your expectations. Having expectations sets you up for disappointment, because nothing in parenting is like you expect it to be. That's not to say there aren't amazing highs in parenting - every single day I feel very positive feelings as a result of being a parent. ...


38

While you asked about pro/con of more children, I am going to take a step back and puzzle something out of the arguments you presented. Note that your arguments are either very logical (bigger house, more money) or a little constructed (as someone pointed out - age gap and time to kids doesn't really work like that). A side note: One thing you have not ...


34

It's fine to 'poke' the outside of the baby bump. In fact it's the first 'game' you can play with your little one. :) Is it okay to poke my pregnant belly? Sure… if that’s what you want to do. It might seem weird at first, since baby is so small and still developing. But your baby is incredibly well cushioned in there. Remember, she’s floating in a sac of ...


26

My wife's second pregnancy was kind of the same situation. I'm super excited, but she finds it hard to get excited. There are a couple things that have been affecting her emotionally. As a father your experience will differ from hers, it's okay, but it's important to understand why your experience differs and to discuss how you can be the most supportive ...


25

You are going to be a father soon. My response will be limited to that. It's pretty clear that you probably won't find happiness in your marriage, so the question might be, for the sake of your child, when would be the best time to leave the relationship? If you want a chance to bond with the child and experience the child's infancy, it would be best if ...


24

You need air to pass over your vocal cords for vocalizations like an infants cry to start. However, it has been observed that fetuses in the womb will make crying-like movements with their mouths, so they're certainly practicing in utero for blasting our eardrums when they arrive.


24

I don't think you can really tactfully put it on the invitation. In fact, many would say the invitation shouldn't refer to gifts at all. Registries are quite often communicated by family members and not the invitation - although I find that silly, personally, and certainly would add it to mine. However, what I would typically do is ask your parents or ...


21

I personally don't think it's polite to invite people to a celebration while telling them how they should and shouldn't gift you. While I am not an atheist, I would still be somewhat taken aback by that kind of announcement on an invitation. The gifts at celebrations are certainly appreciated, and baby showers in particular are supposed to be oriented ...


19

Um, I'm sure it is possible, but I don't really understand the point? If your daughter is unusually cranky, I think it's better to investigate the more likely sources. Has her schedule been disrupted? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she teething/hurting? Are you spending quality time with her? And, if your wife is pregnant, this may be changing your wife'...


19

It's normal for spouses to have disagreements, even on the big things. It doesn't necessarily mean your marriage is in trouble. It means you have a problem to work through together. Hopefully you talked about children before deciding to get married. However, even if you did, no one really understands what being a parent is like until they experience it. ...


18

Although my situation was different, I felt much the same way as you do five years ago. I ended up leaving my wife, but instead of feeling relieved and/or happier it made me feel worse. To make a long story short I ended up being diagnosed with depression and went on medication to help with that. It ended up improving my outlook on things significantly. ...


17

I don't believe it's correct to say no one wants a c-section but it's true that some women that prefer a natural birth are not prepared for that possibility. From a health & safety point of view, a c-section is not "bad" or "dangerous". It's a very routine operation, but just as with natural births the psychological results vary a lot. See also Rory's ...


17

Your wife should consider getting tested for pre-partum depression (pregnancy blues). Being as emotionally withdrawn as you describe may be a sign of depression.


16

There is generally no reason at all to stop breastfeeding just because you are pregnant [1] [2] [3] [4]. As with all pregnancies, it is important that the mother keeps a healthy, well balanced diet. Her body will be perfectly able to produce milk as well as provide for the growing fetus inside her. The milk may change in taste due to the hormonal changes in ...


16

As you say, a C section is major abdominal surgery, with all the risks that entails. I don't want to worry you, as it is a common procedure, but recovery is typically a lot harder than a traditional delivery. Forget about hard work, you may not even be able to lift your baby, or drive, or carry shopping bags etc. So be aware that these things could ...


16

One of the core reasons for this is actually a side-effect of the 'most intelligent beings on the planet' - we have very big brains. Evolution has taken us pretty much to the limit on size at birth - we are already almost the least developed physically at birth. Many mammals can walk an hour after birth, but we have developed large brains, and large heads. ...


15

Would my son be better off with a father who doesn't want to be around but is putting on a smiling face, or a father who was divorced early on? How do I handle my situation? Whether you like it or not your situation is about to change dramatically, and my advice would be to hold out until well after the arrival of your son before you do something ...


14

As the husband of a woman who went in expecting to give birth naturally but ended up having a C-section, I think I can answer this. The mentality, some internally-driven, some external, is that a vaginal birth is the "right" way to give birth; women have given birth this way throughout the 50,000-odd years of recorded history and for hundreds of thousands of ...


14

Since it is a question&answer board about parenting, I would only answer (vaguely) the parenting part. But do keep in mind that it is only my personal opinion. For the child, the question would be, what would be better for him: You break up now, You break up in a couple of months, or years, You stay together. I would say, but have no numbers, studies ...


14

No doubt, if your wife was jostled, the baby felt this. More than that is hard to say. As women have been having healthy babies in spite of acute stressors of all kinds, I'd imagine that one episode has no lasting effect on the fetus. When your wife feels fear (for example, a near accident), her body releases stress hormones, such as epinephrine and ...


14

One very important consideration for this and all other non-experimental studies: correlation does not imply causation. In other words, just because two things happen together does NOT mean one causes the other. Here's a great video explaining this idea. In the case of whether or not expecting parents marry, there are several reasons the parents who marry ...


13

Ultrasonic waves cause some heat and vibration, so prolonged exposure can theoretically have a negative impact. The last article you cite shows 30 minutes of exposure in fetal mice can mildly disrupt their neuronal development. Rat neuronal development occurs much more rapidly than human development. The rat's gestational period is about 23 days, ...


13

First off, I would stick to your guns on not raising the child, but you don't need to cross that bridge until you get there. That may never be asked of you. It's going to be a while before this child is even born. Ultimately this child is your daughter and her partners responsibility. You mention you are numb, you have been blindsided. Give yourself ...


12

I'm not a doctor, but I would be fairly confident in saying that laughing will not harm your unborn child, as long as it does not harm you. There are extremely rare cases of non-pregnant adults dying from laughter, but not enough to worry about. I'd guess that in the long run, not laughing is worse for your health. The effects you might be concerned about ...


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