72

Pregnancy and how it affects the mother is an intense stew of physical and hormonal changes. Each child may come with a different "stew" recipe. Sounds like the father of her original child didn't stick around, so maybe there's some sub-conscious anxiety as this brings back memories and feelings that preceded that event/issue, as well. In any case, how she'...


63

When we are confronted with a situation in our lives where what we believe doesn't match up to how we're living, we have two choices: Change our beliefs or change our actions. I think I know that tightness in your chest, and when I've experienced it, it's when what I am is not what I want to be. Other posters have suggested the latter. Get out for sure, ...


55

I'm going to focus on this one thing that you said, because it's one of the only things you said about what you want, as opposed to all the stuff you are experiencing that you don't want: I want to be important and powerful and change the world. Well, I have good news and bad news about that. First the bad news. I'm going to be brutally honest here. ...


41

As the other answers suggested, it's very likely that whatever you put will come of as weird. Still, it's an honest and reasonable sentiment, so it's kind of frustrating that it can't be expressed as such. Here's my best effort (to be placed in relatively small print at the bottom of the invitation): Gifts are welcome, but not necessary. If you would like ...


40

If there's one thing I'd communicate to a new parent-to-be, it's to completely clear out your expectations. Having expectations sets you up for disappointment, because nothing in parenting is like you expect it to be. That's not to say there aren't amazing highs in parenting - every single day I feel very positive feelings as a result of being a parent. ...


38

While you asked about pro/con of more children, I am going to take a step back and puzzle something out of the arguments you presented. Note that your arguments are either very logical (bigger house, more money) or a little constructed (as someone pointed out - age gap and time to kids doesn't really work like that). A side note: One thing you have not ...


35

It's fine to 'poke' the outside of the baby bump. In fact it's the first 'game' you can play with your little one. :) Is it okay to poke my pregnant belly? Sure… if that’s what you want to do. It might seem weird at first, since baby is so small and still developing. But your baby is incredibly well cushioned in there. Remember, she’s floating in a sac of ...


26

My wife's second pregnancy was kind of the same situation. I'm super excited, but she finds it hard to get excited. There are a couple things that have been affecting her emotionally. As a father your experience will differ from hers, it's okay, but it's important to understand why your experience differs and to discuss how you can be the most supportive ...


25

You are going to be a father soon. My response will be limited to that. It's pretty clear that you probably won't find happiness in your marriage, so the question might be, for the sake of your child, when would be the best time to leave the relationship? If you want a chance to bond with the child and experience the child's infancy, it would be best if ...


24

I don't think you can really tactfully put it on the invitation. In fact, many would say the invitation shouldn't refer to gifts at all. Registries are quite often communicated by family members and not the invitation - although I find that silly, personally, and certainly would add it to mine. However, what I would typically do is ask your parents or ...


21

I personally don't think it's polite to invite people to a celebration while telling them how they should and shouldn't gift you. While I am not an atheist, I would still be somewhat taken aback by that kind of announcement on an invitation. The gifts at celebrations are certainly appreciated, and baby showers in particular are supposed to be oriented ...


17

Although my situation was different, I felt much the same way as you do five years ago. I ended up leaving my wife, but instead of feeling relieved and/or happier it made me feel worse. To make a long story short I ended up being diagnosed with depression and went on medication to help with that. It ended up improving my outlook on things significantly. ...


17

Your wife should consider getting tested for pre-partum depression (pregnancy blues). Being as emotionally withdrawn as you describe may be a sign of depression.


16

One of the core reasons for this is actually a side-effect of the 'most intelligent beings on the planet' - we have very big brains. Evolution has taken us pretty much to the limit on size at birth - we are already almost the least developed physically at birth. Many mammals can walk an hour after birth, but we have developed large brains, and large heads. ...


15

Would my son be better off with a father who doesn't want to be around but is putting on a smiling face, or a father who was divorced early on? How do I handle my situation? Whether you like it or not your situation is about to change dramatically, and my advice would be to hold out until well after the arrival of your son before you do something ...


14

Since it is a question&answer board about parenting, I would only answer (vaguely) the parenting part. But do keep in mind that it is only my personal opinion. For the child, the question would be, what would be better for him: You break up now, You break up in a couple of months, or years, You stay together. I would say, but have no numbers, studies ...


14

No doubt, if your wife was jostled, the baby felt this. More than that is hard to say. As women have been having healthy babies in spite of acute stressors of all kinds, I'd imagine that one episode has no lasting effect on the fetus. When your wife feels fear (for example, a near accident), her body releases stress hormones, such as epinephrine and ...


14

One very important consideration for this and all other non-experimental studies: correlation does not imply causation. In other words, just because two things happen together does NOT mean one causes the other. Here's a great video explaining this idea. In the case of whether or not expecting parents marry, there are several reasons the parents who marry ...


13

First off, I would stick to your guns on not raising the child, but you don't need to cross that bridge until you get there. That may never be asked of you. It's going to be a while before this child is even born. Ultimately this child is your daughter and her partners responsibility. You mention you are numb, you have been blindsided. Give yourself ...


12

I'm not a doctor, but I would be fairly confident in saying that laughing will not harm your unborn child, as long as it does not harm you. There are extremely rare cases of non-pregnant adults dying from laughter, but not enough to worry about. I'd guess that in the long run, not laughing is worse for your health. The effects you might be concerned about ...


12

Being a mother of two I can not speak from a father' perspective, but let me try: For our first child everything was new. Also, he first child changes more - that's when the couple turns into a family and you become a father. From this perspective the second child is no big news, been there, done that. Ok, seriously, of course it is, but it doesn't change ...


12

First off, congrats :) Go to the doctor and be honest! My wife and I did the same thing during her first pregnancy. Our daughter, now 5, is as bright and cheery and happy and healthy as any other kid in her class. Additional stress isn't good for either your or your baby. So calm down first. Only then can you make rational adult decisions. Just make ...


12

I asked our OBGYN the same thing basically. He explained that it takes a really hard hit to go past the barrier provided by the amniotic fluid. So something like a hard push is definitely not a problem. Also, we were advised by our doctor that my wife resting on her stomach was no problem (as long as she was not in pain), so her body weight can be pushing ...


12

I'm sincerely sorry that you're having trouble enjoying this experience, but that doesn't mean there's anything about your partner you get to fix. You don't get to try to "bring that excitement out of her end" because she does not have to perform excitement for you, and for whatever reason, that excitement may not be there to be brought out in the first ...


11

We don't know it's safe. Hence, it's not safe. As far as I know there is no conclusive and trustworthy research which determines whether e-cigarettes are safe or not. E-cigarettes are quite new and there is relatively few people using them. I daresay no research in the upcoming ten years will have statistically significant results, the time span is simply ...


11

Quit freaking out. That's the first thing to do. People get pregnant, they have kids. This is normal. It may not be normal for you, but, it is, in general, a fact of life. So, you can do it. The challenge is to be the best mother you can be, and that means starting now to make choices that are good choices for both you, and the baby. Once you start making ...


11

Regardless of what happens between you and your wife, you need to come to terms with the fact that your obligation to your son is now one of the most central realities of your life. The fact that he is now in the world is directly related to your actions and choices, and you need to take responsibility for those as an adult. You may feel tricked and ...


11

All evidence suggests that no, your infant can not sense your pregnancy. What they are very sensitive to, however, are your own moods and activities. Your behaviour (and the behaviour of those around you) is going to be one of the main reasons for behaviours you see from your child (in addition to the inherent nursing behaviours etc) I'm having to disregard ...


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