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208 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

I've tried and tried to get her to go to counseling but only response I get you can make me go but don't expect me to say a word. So, make her go. Therapists have a way of getting people to talk, and ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
100 votes
Accepted

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

My friend obviously did not react well when she found out about the incident. How should she make up for it to her daughter? She should apologize. You say your friend didn't react ideally, I'd say ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
98 votes
Accepted

Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?

I'm no parent, but an electrical engineer. So I will focus mainly on the safety aspects, and on how to push him towards safer branches of electronics. I think encouraging his interest in electronics ...
Sandro's user avatar
  • 686
90 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

My daughter...was only one in our vehicle that didn't sustain any life threatening injuries (only a broken foot) Your daughter suffered a severe trauma. Such events don't necessarily leave physical ...
zzzzBov's user avatar
  • 1,502
59 votes
Accepted

Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us

You can't make anything clear to someone who doesn't respect your opinion. Explanations only matter if the person you're explaining to has kind of the same world view as you do. This is where ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
56 votes

12 year old boy is totally out of control

You have my sympathy, and a lot of it. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Part of this is the age.* TL;DR: You're not alone. Many have walked this path and come through on the other side with a ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
40 votes
Accepted

How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?

Our daughter intellectually understands our reasoning and accepted our decision without fuss. But of course she was disappointed and sad on the evening of the party. This is a good outcome and ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,274
40 votes

Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?

Your son needs a mentor who is experienced in electricity and especially electrical safety. The components he is experimenting with can easily kill a person. To compound the danger, the ability to ...
Wayne Conrad's user avatar
  • 1,972
36 votes

Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?

Let me give an answer from the perspective of an electronics hobbyist who was once a precocious child myself. The other answers here give very reasonable sets of rules of a kid playing with ...
Glenn Willen's user avatar
34 votes

12 year old boy is totally out of control

I'm writing this as a guest because I don't want this associated with my professional account, but I feel I can help you understand your son because he sounds just like how I was at that age. I used ...
southerngent's user avatar
32 votes

How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?

I think the main messages you need to get over are: Some people are attracted to both men and women. This is called bisexuality. Its perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with it. Also, ...
Paul Johnson's user avatar
  • 10.3k
30 votes

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

No parents are entitled to be told by their children about things they would want to know. It may be right for their kids to tell them, it may be good and helpful, it may be reasonable and all sorts ...
Ready To Learn's user avatar
29 votes

How to figure out which of my children is lying to me?

You don't know and if you accuse your child and s/he is not the one that did it, that creates a trust problem. Most kids do this at one point or another. You should tell the truth as a model. It is ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
27 votes

Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us

This is actually pretty common. First, lets get some things out on the table. Your talking to her. That makes you her friend, at least a little. Don't think that because you're older you can't "be ...
coteyr's user avatar
  • 2,622
26 votes
Accepted

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

This sounds like a scarily accurate description of me when I was that age. So I'll give you my personal insight. The lying is most likely a way to get you ,or anyone else, to leave him alone ,even if ...
user1450877's user avatar
  • 3,193
22 votes

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

Apologize to them. This reaction may be even more about you lying to them, than about the separation. Kids are not stupid, and may have suspected something is up already. Put yourself into their ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,274
21 votes
Accepted

Is it appropriate for boys aged 7 and 11 to go shirtless at home in front of 7 year old girl?

It can be appropriate in some cultures, and in others it can be inappropriate. That isn't really the issue here. The challenge is that you and your partner have a conflict in your approach to ...
Rory Alsop's user avatar
  • 26.6k
18 votes

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

I agree with everything that has been said about counseling - do that first and foremost. Her situation But let me add this: it is not unheard of for children in puberty to act like your daughter (...
AnoE's user avatar
  • 2,800
17 votes

My 13-year-old daughter is talking to a 20-year old girl on the internet. Is this normal?

I have certainly spoken with 13 year olds on the internet and I am in my 60s. Some of the time was in a game room chat and some of the time in my role as a moderator on a forum. I am quite friendly ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
17 votes

How to react to an eleven-year-old sneaking out at night to look at the stars?

First off: What a beautiful thing to do, and what a wonderful memory to have later on: To go watch the night sky with your friend. Is it appropriate for children that age to be that independent? ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
16 votes

Is it inappropriate for young teens to cuddle and sleep together if there is no sign of it being sexual?

I wouldn't worry too much, and I definitely wouldn't suggest doing anything about it. First of all you don't know that the two of them meant to sleep in an intimate manner. They may have fallen ...
dsollen's user avatar
  • 3,904
16 votes
Accepted

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?

Welcome to the world of teenagers (yes, in theory 12 years old, but in reality she is now a teenager). It sounds to me like you are doing things pretty much right. +1 for honouring the privacy of her ...
Paul Johnson's user avatar
  • 10.3k
15 votes

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

Am I overreacting?? Possibly. Probably. To adults this act - showing a young person a beheading - is horrifying, because we know all that it means. But a child might not see it that way, especially ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
14 votes

What to do about my out-of-control 12-year-old daughter?

Welcome to adolescence. It's really hard. If you ask her when she is calm why she does what she does, I'd be surprised if she has a real answer. Hormones make life hell for teens. It's as bad or worse ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
14 votes

How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?

(Good) rules exist because there's something that's tempting to do but can cause bad things to happen. Frequently these bad things are not guaranteed and perhaps not even likely to happen, which can ...
Kat's user avatar
  • 321
13 votes

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

1a. Is it the fear of re-living the trauma that kept the child quiet? Possibly. It might also be that she didn't want to betray what she saw as a confidence. Or she might have been worried that her ...
deworde's user avatar
  • 10.3k
13 votes

What to do about my 11 year old daughter dating a boy she's never met when I don't want her to?

From personal experience, when I went to the elementary school I got bullied a lot because I didn't fit in. High school was little better for me. But thanks to online gaming I came into contact with ...
A.bakker's user avatar
  • 2,113
12 votes

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

Motivation and punishment do not mean the same things to you as they do for your teen. Yes, you still will have expectations for getting chores and homework done, but perhaps your interest in them ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
12 votes
Accepted

Respectful parenting and discipline

In helping children learn to contribute to the daily family work (this is something we call "being human") we have found natural consequences to be very effective teaching tools. For example when the ...
Musia414's user avatar
  • 412
11 votes

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it? First, please question your assumption that your daughter actually hates you. It is highly unlikely that she does; it is highly ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar

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