129 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her. However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
65 votes
Accepted

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]? You are in a tricky situation. It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend and Emily over this issue ...
Adam Davis's user avatar
  • 6,563
43 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

This is a fantastic question. You are wonderful for your level of consideration given a perplexing situation here. The Problem: I used to be Emily. It's over 25 years later, and this thing just ...
Alice D.'s user avatar
  • 447
36 votes

Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy

There isn't a cut and dry answer to this. Both are important. And part of parenting is striking the right balance there. Given your situations above: Baby wants to be held to sleep: well, keeping ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
33 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Warning harsh answer, not because I don't support transgender people, but because of your position in the family and how you act in this situation step-daughter ... my girlfriend I assume you mean ...
Dennis's user avatar
  • 363
16 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Most of what you should be doing is talking the mother down. Help her realize that while this is a shock and unexpected, it's far from the worst-case a parent can go through (her child is healthy and ...
McCann's user avatar
  • 998
14 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Sometimes this site can be very liberal. It makes me afraid to post an answer like this, but here we go anyway. You have two serious problems. None of which are your step-son/daughter. The first is ...
coteyr's user avatar
  • 2,612
13 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

A simple answer for "bullies outside the house" which applies for all bullied children: get them to a martial arts class. Personally I'd favour jiu jitsu, but pretty much anything will do the trick. ...
Graham's user avatar
  • 2,995
12 votes
Accepted

10 year old's screen time: Studies and/or Government recommendations?

Official Recommendations The American Academy of Pediatrics publishes policy statements on this topic. The most recent recommendations for the age range in question (school-aged children: 5-18yo) are ...
Rose Hartman's user avatar
  • 2,447
12 votes
Accepted

Three-year-old back from 3-night hospital stay

One of the most valuable pieces of information I've picked up from parenting books comes during the introductory chapters of "The Whole-Brain Child" by Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson. In it, they tell the ...
Marisa's user avatar
  • 1,693
12 votes

I walked in on my 18-year-old pooping herself

I'm at total loss of what to do, how to punish her, and what to believe. I'm desperate to find answers. If I were in your situation, I would be dumbfounded as to how my daughter managed to handle ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
11 votes

Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy

Hold the child unless there is a problem. The child cannot be spoiled at this age, and will still sleep unattended later. The only limitations are physical needs of the parent. Is the parent too ...
user26434's user avatar
  • 127
9 votes
Accepted

Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?

Is it true that leaving such a young baby with his grandparents could create long-term trauma? Unfortunately, I don't think there is any scientific evidence one way or another. I could not find any ...
sleske's user avatar
  • 2,768
8 votes

Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy

There's quite a difference between your two examples and I would give a different answer in both situations. A 5 month old is too young to understand why you don't hold them when they cry. Generally, ...
MiniMum's user avatar
  • 2,192
8 votes

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

Whatever else you may do, find a good trans-friendly therapist for your daughter to help her acquire tools to cope with the stressors in her life, being mindful that all therapy is family therapy and ...
MickeyfAgain_BeforeExitOfSO's user avatar
7 votes

Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?

I'm currently researching this exact same question, and managed to find one study so far, which does find negative correlations with later child behaviour at age 3 and 5, but its not experimental and ...
Lee's user avatar
  • 71
7 votes

What to do with an adult child with a mental illness and drug taking

There is very little you can do. Until someone accepts they have mental health challenges that need to be addressed you can't force them into treatment. As a parent this can be devastating to watch. ...
CyclotomicField's user avatar
6 votes

Help explain emotionally unstable Aunt to 5yr old

What is stopping you from explaining it to your son in more or less the same way you explained it here? He's obviously a pretty sharp kid since he's picked up on the fact that something is wrong with ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
6 votes

6 y/o hates himself, everyone and threatens suicide and violence

I was not sure if I should answer this because as anongoodnurse pointed out, this sounds like a complicated situation with many possible interpretations, even for professionals who are on site. ...
Stone's user avatar
  • 414
6 votes

Strong-willed, 14 year old. Caught with e-cigarette paraphernalia and a condom

I think you have to be 100% honest. Talking it out during therapy is a good idea. Set rules and follow them. There are set consequences for breaking the rules. Perhaps the therapist can help you ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
6 votes
Accepted

Found loaded gun after son threatened to kill the family

I concur with @AskAboutMonica: your first priority must be to keep yourself and the rest of your family safe. In addition to your own safety a murder conviction is not going to do your son much good. ...
Paul Johnson's user avatar
  • 10.3k
6 votes

How to keep away suicidal thoughts from my 15-year-old son who says "life is meaningless" after his friend's suicide?

I'm sorry for what your family is going through. It must be very frightening for all involved, and really does require the help of a professional or two (or three.) You might benefit from individual ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
5 votes

Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy

As your examples demonstrate: It's more complicated than that. In both cases the happiness/health question doesn't even come into play. Both examples differ by age (in the second example, the child ...
Peter's user avatar
  • 2,899
5 votes
Accepted

How to help my child that has OCD with Sexual Obsessions?

it is getting increasingly difficult for us to hear him say the disturbing things that pop into his head as he continues to fixate. You can't change his intrusive thoughts, but you can reassure him ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
5 votes

16 Year Old, Trying to Deal with Strict, Invasive Parents. What Do I Do?

Try to see your parent's point of view, and meet them in the middle. While there is stuff that is clearly overstepping, I think that there might be areas where your parents' concerns are reasonable. ...
nick012000's user avatar
4 votes

Is my granddaughter Transgender?

Anxiety and depression are pretty common when you don't get along with your parents and they're abusive. So that's not really a huge surprise. 'Laziness' or a lack of motivation and energy is common ...
James Snell's user avatar
  • 5,120
4 votes

How to ask dad to back down re new diagnosis (ADD)

I want to figure this out on my own, but I also want him to be there for support and answers to questions if I need it. This is a bit like having your cake and eating it, too. Support you should ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
4 votes
Accepted

Possibly long-lasting trauma as a newborn?

I have been looking at this as well recently. My youngest went through a lot of painful procedures as a tiny one, looking for reasons she wasn't growing. Sadly for her, in the end, they determined ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330
4 votes

Is my 14 y/o brother’s abusive behavior something that I should be concerned about?

First, I feel the need to warn you that I've worked with a lot of at-risk youth and am seeing this situation through that lens, which means I lean toward early intervention. Do I need to pressure ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar

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