130
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her.
However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. ...
- 69.8k
65
votes
Accepted
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]?
You are in a tricky situation. It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend and Emily over this issue ...
- 6,563
43
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
This is a fantastic question. You are wonderful for your level of consideration given a perplexing situation here.
The Problem: I used to be Emily. It's over 25 years later, and this thing just ...
- 447
36
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
There isn't a cut and dry answer to this. Both are important. And part of parenting is striking the right balance there. Given your situations above:
Baby wants to be held to sleep: well, keeping ...
- 13.3k
33
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Warning
harsh answer, not because I don't support transgender people, but because of your position in the family and how you act in this situation
step-daughter ... my girlfriend
I assume you mean ...
- 363
16
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Most of what you should be doing is talking the mother down. Help her realize that while this is a shock and unexpected, it's far from the worst-case a parent can go through (her child is healthy and ...
- 1,008
15
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Sometimes this site can be very liberal. It makes me afraid to post an answer like this, but here we go anyway.
You have two serious problems. None of which are your step-son/daughter. The first is ...
- 2,572
13
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
A simple answer for "bullies outside the house" which applies for all bullied children: get them to a martial arts class. Personally I'd favour jiu jitsu, but pretty much anything will do the trick.
...
- 3,005
12
votes
Accepted
10 year old's screen time: Studies and/or Government recommendations?
Official Recommendations
The American Academy of Pediatrics publishes policy statements on this topic. The most recent recommendations for the age range in question (school-aged children: 5-18yo) are ...
- 2,447
12
votes
Accepted
Three-year-old back from 3-night hospital stay
One of the most valuable pieces of information I've picked up from parenting books comes during the introductory chapters of "The Whole-Brain Child" by Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson. In it, they tell the ...
- 1,693
12
votes
I walked in on my 18-year-old pooping herself
I'm at total loss of what to do, how to punish her, and what to believe. I'm desperate to find answers.
If I were in your situation, I would be dumbfounded as to how my daughter managed to handle ...
- 69.8k
11
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
Hold the child unless there is a problem. The child cannot be spoiled at this age, and will still sleep unattended later. The only limitations are physical needs of the parent. Is the parent too ...
- 127
8
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
There's quite a difference between your two examples and I would give a different answer in both situations. A 5 month old is too young to understand why you don't hold them when they cry. Generally, ...
- 2,202
8
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Whatever else you may do, find a good trans-friendly therapist for your daughter to help her acquire tools to cope with the stressors in her life, being mindful that all therapy is family therapy and ...
8
votes
Accepted
Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?
Is it true that leaving such a young baby with his grandparents could
create long-term trauma?
Unfortunately, I don't think there is any scientific evidence one way or another. I could not find any ...
- 2,758
7
votes
Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?
I'm currently researching this exact same question, and managed to find one study so far, which does find negative correlations with later child behaviour at age 3 and 5, but its not experimental and ...
- 71
7
votes
What to do with an adult child with a mental illness and drug taking
There is very little you can do. Until someone accepts they have mental health challenges that need to be addressed you can't force them into treatment. As a parent this can be devastating to watch. ...
- 275
6
votes
Help explain emotionally unstable Aunt to 5yr old
What is stopping you from explaining it to your son in more or less the same way you explained it here? He's obviously a pretty sharp kid since he's picked up on the fact that something is wrong with ...
- 13.3k
6
votes
6 y/o hates himself, everyone and threatens suicide and violence
I was not sure if I should answer this because as anongoodnurse pointed out, this sounds like a complicated situation with many possible interpretations, even for professionals who are on site. ...
- 414
6
votes
Strong-willed, 14 year old. Caught with e-cigarette paraphernalia and a condom
I think you have to be 100% honest. Talking it out during therapy is a good idea. Set rules and follow them. There are set consequences for breaking the rules. Perhaps the therapist can help you ...
- 17.5k
6
votes
Accepted
Found loaded gun after son threatened to kill the family
I concur with @AskAboutMonica: your first priority must be to keep yourself and the rest of your family safe. In addition to your own safety a murder conviction is not going to do your son much good.
...
- 10.2k
6
votes
How to keep away suicidal thoughts from my 15-year-old son who says "life is meaningless" after his friend's suicide?
I'm sorry for what your family is going through. It must be very frightening for all involved, and really does require the help of a professional or two (or three.) You might benefit from individual ...
- 69.8k
5
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
As your examples demonstrate: It's more complicated than that. In both cases the happiness/health question doesn't even come into play.
Both examples differ by age (in the second example, the child ...
- 2,899
5
votes
Accepted
How to help my child that has OCD with Sexual Obsessions?
it is getting increasingly difficult for us to hear him say the disturbing things that pop into his head as he continues to fixate.
You can't change his intrusive thoughts, but you can reassure him ...
- 69.8k
4
votes
Is my granddaughter Transgender?
Anxiety and depression are pretty common when you don't get along with your parents and they're abusive. So that's not really a huge surprise.
'Laziness' or a lack of motivation and energy is common ...
- 5,102
4
votes
How to ask dad to back down re new diagnosis (ADD)
I want to figure this out on my own, but I also want him to be there for support and answers to questions if I need it.
This is a bit like having your cake and eating it, too. Support you should ...
- 69.8k
4
votes
Accepted
Possibly long-lasting trauma as a newborn?
I have been looking at this as well recently. My youngest went through a lot of painful procedures as a tiny one, looking for reasons she wasn't growing. Sadly for her, in the end, they determined ...
- 7,330
4
votes
Is my 14 y/o brother’s abusive behavior something that I should be concerned about?
First, I feel the need to warn you that I've worked with a lot of at-risk youth and am seeing this situation through that lens, which means I lean toward early intervention.
Do I need to pressure ...
- 69.8k
4
votes
How to keep away suicidal thoughts from my 15-year-old son who says "life is meaningless" after his friend's suicide?
tl;dr:
If you try to 'explain' life has a meaning, your son might stop listening to you.
Life might be meaningless, but it can be pretty interesting.
===
What you wrote resonates with me. My ...
- 466
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