130
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
You are clearly very loving and supportive of your step-child. This is a great gift you are giving to her.
However, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of a relationship with your girlfriend. ...
- 68.2k
65
votes
Accepted
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
How do I best protect Emily ... from the bullying she's experiencing from [her mother]?
You are in a tricky situation. It's very likely that you will lose your girlfriend and Emily over this issue ...
- 6,563
43
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
This is a fantastic question. You are wonderful for your level of consideration given a perplexing situation here.
The Problem: I used to be Emily. It's over 25 years later, and this thing just ...
- 447
36
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
There isn't a cut and dry answer to this. Both are important. And part of parenting is striking the right balance there. Given your situations above:
Baby wants to be held to sleep: well, keeping ...
- 13.3k
33
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Warning
harsh answer, not because I don't support transgender people, but because of your position in the family and how you act in this situation
step-daughter ... my girlfriend
I assume you mean ...
- 363
16
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Most of what you should be doing is talking the mother down. Help her realize that while this is a shock and unexpected, it's far from the worst-case a parent can go through (her child is healthy and ...
- 1,008
15
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Sometimes this site can be very liberal. It makes me afraid to post an answer like this, but here we go anyway.
You have two serious problems. None of which are your step-son/daughter. The first is ...
- 2,552
13
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
A simple answer for "bullies outside the house" which applies for all bullied children: get them to a martial arts class. Personally I'd favour jiu jitsu, but pretty much anything will do the trick.
...
- 3,005
12
votes
Accepted
10 year old's screen time: Studies and/or Government recommendations?
Official Recommendations
The American Academy of Pediatrics publishes policy statements on this topic. The most recent recommendations for the age range in question (school-aged children: 5-18yo) are ...
- 2,447
12
votes
Accepted
Three-year-old back from 3-night hospital stay
One of the most valuable pieces of information I've picked up from parenting books comes during the introductory chapters of "The Whole-Brain Child" by Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson. In it, they tell the ...
- 1,693
12
votes
I walked in on my 18-year-old pooping herself
I'm at total loss of what to do, how to punish her, and what to believe. I'm desperate to find answers.
If I were in your situation, I would be dumbfounded as to how my daughter managed to handle ...
- 68.2k
11
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
Hold the child unless there is a problem. The child cannot be spoiled at this age, and will still sleep unattended later. The only limitations are physical needs of the parent. Is the parent too ...
- 127
10
votes
Could I have damaged my unborn baby in the womb?
While you could have damaged your child you also have to remember that crack addicts who continue to abuse drugs while pregnant ultimately manage to produce healthy babies more frequently than you'd ...
- 5,102
9
votes
Accepted
Are there adverse effects on a baby to see their parent talking to a toy?
Imaginative play is both normal and healthy for children (read "The Need for Pretend Play in Child Development", posted on Psychology Today, as just one of many sources that support this theory).
...
- 22.6k
9
votes
11-year old having recurring nightmares about killing people she knows. Should I be worried?
My best suggestion is that it's time to see a good adolescent counselor.
Nightmares are normally more common (or at least, more memorable and reported) than "pleasant" dreams, and vivid dreams often ...
- 68.2k
8
votes
My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter
Whatever else you may do, find a good trans-friendly therapist for your daughter to help her acquire tools to cope with the stressors in her life, being mindful that all therapy is family therapy and ...
8
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
There's quite a difference between your two examples and I would give a different answer in both situations. A 5 month old is too young to understand why you don't hold them when they cry. Generally, ...
- 2,202
7
votes
Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?
I'm currently researching this exact same question, and managed to find one study so far, which does find negative correlations with later child behaviour at age 3 and 5, but its not experimental and ...
- 71
7
votes
Accepted
Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?
Is it true that leaving such a young baby with his grandparents could
create long-term trauma?
Unfortunately, I don't think there is any scientific evidence one way or another. I could not find any ...
- 2,698
7
votes
What to do with an adult child with a mental illness and drug taking
There is very little you can do. Until someone accepts they have mental health challenges that need to be addressed you can't force them into treatment. As a parent this can be devastating to watch. ...
- 275
6
votes
Help explain emotionally unstable Aunt to 5yr old
What is stopping you from explaining it to your son in more or less the same way you explained it here? He's obviously a pretty sharp kid since he's picked up on the fact that something is wrong with ...
- 13.3k
6
votes
6 y/o hates himself, everyone and threatens suicide and violence
I was not sure if I should answer this because as anongoodnurse pointed out, this sounds like a complicated situation with many possible interpretations, even for professionals who are on site. ...
- 414
6
votes
Strong-willed, 14 year old. Caught with e-cigarette paraphernalia and a condom
I think you have to be 100% honest. Talking it out during therapy is a good idea. Set rules and follow them. There are set consequences for breaking the rules. Perhaps the therapist can help you ...
- 17.5k
6
votes
Accepted
Found loaded gun after son threatened to kill the family
I concur with @AskAboutMonica: your first priority must be to keep yourself and the rest of your family safe. In addition to your own safety a murder conviction is not going to do your son much good.
...
- 9,566
6
votes
How to keep away suicidal thoughts from my 15-year-old son who says "life is meaningless" after his friend's suicide?
I'm sorry for what your family is going through. It must be very frightening for all involved, and really does require the help of a professional or two (or three.) You might benefit from individual ...
- 68.2k
5
votes
Could I have damaged my unborn baby in the womb?
I would just second @James Snell's excellent answer.
Unless you have passed on a known autosomal dominant genetic condition, there is no predicting the result of your pregnancy. The vast majority of ...
- 68.2k
5
votes
Which is more important for a baby: keep the baby happy or keep the baby healthy
As your examples demonstrate: It's more complicated than that. In both cases the happiness/health question doesn't even come into play.
Both examples differ by age (in the second example, the child ...
- 2,899
4
votes
11-year old having recurring nightmares about killing people she knows. Should I be worried?
The most important thing to do is reassure her that even though this is unpleasant, and it is important it doesn't mean that it is significant (as in something to get worried about). Maybe you could ...
- 8,987
4
votes
Accepted
Is there a downside to giving a preschooler band-aids when he doesn't really need them?
The band-aid issue is not uncommon, and may have several possible causes:
The child associates band-aid with healing.
Basically, it's a placebo. As such, you can - and should, for consistency's sake ...
- 6,022
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