421
votes
My wife wants a homosexual child
I would strongly suggest some couple therapy before you bring a child into this situation. I worked in a therapy clinic and saw the outcome of overbearing/unreasonable mothering (and fathering). ...
- 2,061
284
votes
My wife wants a homosexual child
Perhaps I have some expertise on this, as someone who has raised one straight and two queer children...
You don't get to decide that. She doesn't either. Yes, you can indeed try not to overly gender ...
- 2,970
72
votes
My wife wants a homosexual child
Is my wife overreacting or am I wrong here?
I don't think you're wrong. It seems reasonable - even admirable - to raise a child encouraging any beneficial interests they have regardless of gender-...
- 69.8k
60
votes
My 15-year-old son is gay. How do I express my feelings about this?
How do I express my feelings towards him being gay without actually hurting his feelings?
Right now, you don't unless he asks. Even then, I'd equivocate ("Give me time to gather my thoughts. This is ...
- 69.8k
51
votes
My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy
You bring up many points that show that your relationship with your kid is not the best at the moment. But I'd like to focus on your kid presumably being trans.
It isn't a trend
Yes, there are more ...
- 1,032
43
votes
My wife wants a homosexual child
Oh dear, this is going to end up in tears.
First you need understanding, then you can argue.
I would suggest to discuss with your wife the mass of documentation (articles, social media posts, ...
- 2,570
42
votes
My wife wants a homosexual child
I'm going to take a slightly stronger position than most of the other people here. I'm keeping in mind the policy to be nice and simply objectively describing the seriousness of the situation.
There ...
- 3,267
34
votes
I just learned my 15 year old daughter has come out to her friends - should I say anything to her...OR to my wife?
I think Warren Dew offers a good answer there, but if I were in your position I'd want to let my kid immediately that I know about it, that I accept it and that it will never change my love for them (...
- 900
32
votes
How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?
I think the main messages you need to get over are:
Some people are attracted to both men and women. This is called bisexuality. Its perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with it. Also, ...
- 10.2k
28
votes
I just learned my 15 year old daughter has come out to her friends - should I say anything to her...OR to my wife?
I find myself crying at times worried for her and the difficulties that she may encounter.
She's probably doing the same, worried about whether her parents will accept it or reject her. That is ...
- 1,247
27
votes
My wife wants a homosexual child
I think this is a very horrible idea. Even set of ideas.
Gender-less/Post Gender
This is just silly. Now I'm not saying that everyone has to be confined by the stereotypes that exist, BUT, they ...
- 2,572
27
votes
My 15-year-old son is gay. How do I express my feelings about this?
Well, how do you feel about your son? I suspect, whatever your feeling are about homosexuality, in general, or in this specific case, you love your son very much, and want him to be happy.
THAT is ...
- 2,159
23
votes
My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy
I would suggest going carefully – the worst thing you could do is hurt your child or your relationship with them. Make sure that whatever you do is something that makes them feel loved and listened to....
- 310
22
votes
My 13 year old daughter says she wants to be a boy. This is out of character for her. Is this a phase?
Preface
The topic of teens wanting to change genders is a very delicate one and also one without much information available. There are plenty of people who want to argue their ideological viewpoint, ...
- 3,368
21
votes
I just learned my 15 year old daughter has come out to her friends - should I say anything to her...OR to my wife?
You could start by making it clear that you're fine with gay people and recognize that it's not something that people can change, any more than they can change their eye color, even if you don't ...
- 2,643
21
votes
I just learned my 15 year old daughter has come out to her friends - should I say anything to her...OR to my wife?
I think your daughter is essentially coming out to you already.
If she has this big of a secret, and didn't want you to know, she would not have loaned you her iPad, or at least would have made sure ...
- 2,376
21
votes
My 13 year old daughter says she wants to be a boy. This is out of character for her. Is this a phase?
I'm not surprised that being exposed to LGBT+ culture for the first time would be the starting point of this "phase". I know plenty of people (myself included) who settled for trying their best to ...
- 584
20
votes
How much protection from me coming out as a transwoman does my child need?
Depending on where you live, this might sound controversial, but children don't need protection from their parents as long as they don't engage in violent, sexual or otherwise unhealthy behavior in ...
- 521
20
votes
15 year old daughter has a crush on a girl
You can have a family while being in a same sex relationship. I have a lesbian couple living on my street with 2 sons (thanks to a sperm donor) and a good friend of mine is lesbian and is in a ...
- 2,073
19
votes
How do you support/cope with your 15yr old daughter wanting to become a boy?
I am not a parent going through this, but I've been that child, so I have a few suggestions.
The most important thing is to take her seriously. You can express this in various ways. The first is to ...
- 347
18
votes
My wife wants a homosexual child
As has already been stated you can not make a child be homosexual. This is as harmful as trying to make a homosexual child be heterosexual. You can't decide a child's sexuality and trying to will ...
- 3,886
17
votes
Accepted
Is it okay to encourage a transgender teen to consider genderqueer and transfeminine as alternatives to transgender?
Not all trans people get all the surgeries, and none of them get them all at once. Your child is choosing a presentation and a name that align with their internal awareness. They may ask for hormone ...
- 13.2k
17
votes
My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy
Surgery sound scary, but it's not like on TV: you can't simply walk in and get surgery. Surgeons need to follow the WPATH Standards of Care (pdf) at the bare minimum.
To my knowledge, all forms of ...
16
votes
From what age onward can we see that a child is homosexual?
At the age that the child tells you. You don't "discover" another person's sexuality, that is something each person finds for themselves.
- 664
15
votes
My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy
What ever happens, make sure she has gender dysphoria. Transitioning without dysphoria is a massive mistake, and most realize this sooner or later. If she actually is transgender, then transitioning ...
- 275
14
votes
Is it okay to encourage a transgender teen to consider genderqueer and transfeminine as alternatives to transgender?
I am an adult trans woman and a mom. I love Chrys's answer and your supportiveness, but I just wanted to provide a little more insight here.
Is it okay to encourage [...] genderqueer and ...
- 841
13
votes
My 13 year old daughter says she wants to be a boy. This is out of character for her. Is this a phase?
The question of whether or not this is a phase isn't something that can be answered by us. That answer will need to be answered through a combination of your child's development, work with ...
- 22.6k
12
votes
From what age onward can we see that a child is homosexual?
I have some experience with this as a parent! So speaking from experience: there is no set age at which you can tell what a child's sexual preferences, gender identity, gender expression, political ...
- 765
12
votes
How do you support/cope with your 15yr old daughter wanting to become a boy?
15 year old means she is old enough to discuss things seriously with her.
The facts: If this is just a phase that she's going through, then it is absolutely fine to dress more like a male, and ...
- 1,537
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