125

Ok, deleting wouldn't do anything. Keeping her activities in secret, is a clear sign to me, that she thinks that you will just be unreasonably forbidding her to do anything in that direction. If you now do that, you just prove her right as well as increasing the distance between you two at least in this aspect. Also you won't stop her from recreating ...


105

Watch YouTube with your child, then you will know what they are watching. A toddler can wander onto something by accident and see something they cannot un-see. Do not let your toddler wander the Internet alone, it is a very dangerous place. There are no safeguards that are 100% effective at blocking adult material on the Internet, except adult ...


48

Just find a way to block the internet in the wee hours in the morning. The taking to strangers, sharing personal info etc. is not so egregious and at 15 especially your daughter is not at risk. As long as you communicate with her consistently and let her know she is safe to tell you anything, you should be able to trust that she'll let you know if any ...


39

This is a very subjective question; a lot depends on your daughter's understanding of the world and her ability to police herself. This will most likely be an unpopular answer, but I'm going to give it anyway. I'll address all your points. First, the language. You admit you did it as a teen. The language is much fouler now, so hold her to the same standards ...


35

It appears there are some parental controls in YouTube. Scroll to the bottom of the page and look for something that says "Safety" or "Safety Mode". Switch it to on. You can optionally lock it for the browser as well. (You may have to be logged in for all of this to work.) That should enable Google's safe search and do some measure of parental controls. ...


29

If your kids are using mobile devices, you may find the YouTube Kids app to be a viable alternative and a quick solution. This is only available on Google Play and the iTunes App Store, so Amazon Fire users are out of luck. The app itself filters the content to suitable material for kids. You can see more about the app in the YouTubeKids Parental Guide. ...


22

No, deleting won't do much good. You won't have control over her for much longer. So punishing her / taking away her social accounts seems like a bad plan here. Etaila's answer makes some good points. I'd like to expand a bit on something she hasn't touched on. I wonder why your fifteen-year-old feels the need to secretly create these accounts and then use ...


21

I am a parent (and an IT professional) who advocates the same thing - Computers should be in "public" view especially where children are using them. I very strongly advocate that even where not in public view the bedroom is an entirely inappropriate place for them and would always argue for a home office. Bedroom should be "for bed" they are for sanctuary ...


19

One of our jobs as parents is teaching; using the internet to help with this task is fine, but before you do, teach them how to be safe when they're online. Teach your kids about online safety (posting/chatting in threads or forums, responding to contact requests, how to safely use passwords, keeping personal information safe and secure). It's never too ...


19

Before the days of the internet, parents tended to have a kind of God-like image in their child's mind and would be trusted to provide the right answers on a range of random topics that the child would be curious about. I often wonder how this works now with answers and information that is so easily accessible to everyone. I think part of the answer to ...


18

I have certainly spoken with 13 year olds on the internet and I am in my 60s. Some of the time was in a game room chat and some of the time in my role as a moderator on a forum. I am quite friendly with a 14 y/o girl who is writing a book and she is quite good at writing. I think that your daughter should not be chatting on the net in private -- and that ...


17

An important point that has not gotten much attention is how significantly you have violated your daughter's privacy. 20 years ago parents did not easily have the ability to read through transcripts of a large portion of their children's social interactions, and certainly not through convenient, still-considered-socially-acceptable means. The worst readily-...


16

My son is 8, and I haven't taught him to use google yet, despite him having his own computer, but I have shown him many times. My main reason is that getting a good result on a general search engine is a relatively difficult skill. Getting a result on an appropriate level for an 8 year-old is even more difficult, especially on topics that schools typically ...


15

I can completely understand the discomfort with what she's been doing and the desire to just shut down what's she's already done - pull the plug, wipe out the current risk, regroup, try again later. I think you might be able to use this as an opportunity to prepare her for life on her own by transferring your wisdom and experience, however, so I suggest you ...


14

It is certainly a threat, however numbers are very tricky to get hold of. Having worked in the field of information security, privacy and forensics for the last 17 years or so, this is a question that gets asked of me a lot. I tend to lecture on the dangers of the internet, and then point out to the audience that I still bank online, and I use Facebook, as ...


14

She can leave in less than a year. You can remove her internet access for less than a year, and potentially she will be "safe" for that remainder of the year, and then what? She can't only "start again next year" with your permission and supervision, she can leave. She can throw herself into genuinely dangerous situations to help her get some independence ...


13

She did nothing wrong She behaves exactly like a normal 15 year old behaves nowadays. This is the social norm among her peers; and you can't (and shouldn't!) do anything to change it. After all, you do want her to be well integrated in society, right? You do want her to have friends and a healthy social life right? Then you have to accept the cultural norms ...


10

Step 1: talk to him about this. He's 16, which means he's fairly close to being an adult and probably at least somewhat responsible. Let him know what you think is acceptable and what is not, and make some rules about computers in the house. Make sure to explain why you want to monitor his activities and block access to certain sites. This could include ...


10

I personally am not a parent, however, as the fun computer tech uncle it will most likely fall to me to both teach & protect my niece and nephew from the internet. First things first ... its best to just accept the fact that when it comes to technology, the kid you are talking to most likely knows more than you do. By this I mean two things: They most ...


9

There are a few obstacles: Ability to read, write, and spell. Even a first- or second-grade student who's pretty good at reading and writing may struggle to input an unfamiliar word or spelling. Search engines can guess did you mean [word]?, which may or may not be what they were actually trying to learn about. Search engines often now can use voice input ...


9

I've always been the computer geek of my family and it was probably easier in the days when we only had one computer per household (I have three of my own now. And spares!). I've not been a parent, but from a kid's perspective... Engage don't spy. Talk to your kid about what he's doing. Computer programming is a very useful life skill in this day and age. ...


9

While it's certainly important to be aware of the possible dangers on the Internet, it's also important to realize that on the Internet, just in real life, the vast majority of people are not dangerous, and that the vast majority of interactions are innocent. There are so many possible things they could be talking about, and many of those are things that ...


9

Issue #1 - foul language Nobody speaks like that at home. Adults don't swear around children (but will often swear around their friends) and children don't swear around adults (but do around their friends). You can't avoid it. This isn't an issue unless it can be publicly traced back to her. (More on this in Issue #2). Issue #2 - failure to protect ...


9

I am a director at a technology summer camp, where the students often spend their free time playing video games and have talked to several parents about how to determine if a game is appropriate or not. I have a few suggestions. Know the Facts You can't set appropriate boundaries if you don't know the subject matter. Do some research on the game. Ask him to ...


8

There are alternatives for Youtube that only host content that's safe for children. You might try to search for one of those. I know there is the Dutch "kindertube.nl" and I could find links to "toddlertube.com", although that seems to be offline. Alternatively, there might also be some companies and tv-channels that host some of their content online to ...


8

The only solution that has worked for us is to have our son, who is 6 years old, logged into my Google account on YouTube so I can follow his history and block any YouTubers that we don't want him to watch. I have not found a way to block an individual video, but you can block a channel. Go to the Channels page then "About" then click on the "Flag" and ...


7

I am assuming small children, maybe 6-10 years. EDIT: I missed the toddler tag. I will let this answer stand as it is for the time when your children are 6-10 years old. I would strongly suggest to never ever let toddlers (1-3) view Youtube alone. Technical answer: Linux solution My kids watch Youtube, how to monitor what they see? I did that myself ...


7

Honestly, to answer the question as it is titled, just have an open discussion with them. Maybe younger people really don't know how they come across, maybe older people expect too much of them, but much of the time these types of questions come across as argumentative: "Why do I have to...", whether or not they are legitimate. The real advice is to not ...


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