30 votes
Accepted

How should I teach my child to help but also do things on her own?

I would try modeling the behavior you would like to see in her. I suspect you are correct in your assumption that she learned her current behavior from observing you. Which means you will probably ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
30 votes

"I want to do that on my own" - how to improve situation if they don't actually *do* it?

I'm pretty sure my mother could have written the same question about me when I was your daughter's age (which was quite a while ago). Specifically when it comes to the morning routine, we eventually ...
Arno's user avatar
  • 3,050
18 votes

"I want to do that on my own" - how to improve situation if they don't actually *do* it?

You've clearly put a lot of thought into this and are exploring varied options as to how to support your child through this. Great parenting all around. However, I'm noticing that all the options you ...
Flater's user avatar
  • 1,485
12 votes
Accepted

How do we help 2 yo play independently when we’re busy?

I think it's unrealistic to expect a 2 year old to be able to play by themselves for a long time. Some might, but not all. We tried the "cry it out" technique tonight but we know it'll take more ...
swbarnes2's user avatar
  • 4,006
11 votes

My 17-year-old daughter gets excellent grades but shows little interest in socializing or getting a job

All the things that you mention seem fairly minor. My husband picks off the pizza toppings that he doesn't like. There's nothing childish about not liking a particular food. Labeling this as "...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
9 votes

My 11-year-old daughter still asks me to zip her jacket

As long as your daughter 'can' zip her own jacket, I don't think this is anything you need to worry about. Sometimes my 9 year old wants me to carry her out to the breakfast table in the morning. Of ...
user1751825's user avatar
  • 3,795
9 votes

How can I live like a normal teenager with my super strict parents?

This is a difficult situation you're in. At 16 it is reasonable to be allowed a certain degree of independence, and sometimes it can be very difficult for parents to give you that independence. 1) ...
stan's user avatar
  • 2,766
8 votes

How can a much older brother gain recognition for being a de-facto father?

I sometimes feel conflicted and depressed about not being their father. [...] I feel like I can't get any recognition for fulfilling that role because I am "just a brother". Question your mindset: ...
Daniel's user avatar
  • 181
7 votes

How to make my 18-year-old son get a job while in college?

My advice would be not to withhold the necessaries (like textbooks). If your goal is for him to get an education, you are shooting yourself in the foot by causing him to fail in college. Paying for ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
7 votes
Accepted

How to get my child to play alone?

This is late for independent play to start. This is a learned activity. This suggests that you start young. Here are eight tips that have most helped us in encouraging our toddlers to ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
7 votes
Accepted

How can I make my 6-year-old daughter zip her jacket up?

In short you cannot make her do it. You can tell her whenever you see her with it undone but is this really worth it if all it causes is an argument or you getting annoyed when she won’t listen? And ...
RDub's user avatar
  • 274
6 votes

My 17-year-old daughter gets excellent grades but shows little interest in socializing or getting a job

These are two separate issues. First of all, having only a few friends is fine. You worry if your kid has none, and that's not your kid's problem. Being a picky eater is not a problem either. Some ...
swbarnes2's user avatar
  • 4,006
6 votes

How can I live like a normal teenager with my super strict parents?

I offer up this answer with some reluctance, because having read Stacey's answer, I think hers goes in the same direction, but is much better. But since I wrote it, I guess I can as well share it. ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
6 votes

How can I live like a normal teenager with my super strict parents?

My parents were fairly strict, although not quite as strict as you've described. I wasn't allowed to date at all until I was 16, and then only group dates. I had a strict curfew, and they always had ...
Karl Bielefeldt's user avatar
5 votes
Accepted

11MO Independence

What you're describing sounds very much to me like an eleven month old child. They don't have very long (really, any) attention spans; so they don't pay attention to your reading. They want to ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.7k
5 votes

My 17-year-old daughter gets excellent grades but shows little interest in socializing or getting a job

Let's do the easy one first. I... see signs of delayed development in her. Being particular about food isn't a cognitive problem. There is a developmental stage where most kids become picky, but ...
lly's user avatar
  • 153
5 votes

Staying focused getting ready for school

I had the same problem and with a similar age grouping ( 9, 5 and 3). I more or less solved the problem by tackling two different issues. The first one is the child's focus. In my case, making my ...
Diego Sánchez's user avatar
5 votes

At what age should you allow your kids to go out alone?

Be sure to check the laws where you live. Legal and reasonable don't always overlap. When I was growing up in Canada, at 3-4 we would cross the street or go to the neighbors house alone. By 5 i and ...
pojo-guy's user avatar
  • 3,697
4 votes
Accepted

What to do about my 2-year-old crying out loud at the noise made from a toy and is it too early to teach him to be independent?

This sounds like a natural reaction to the new baby. Your older son is insecure about the loss of parental attention to the new baby, and is trying to get more attention for himself. I have three ...
Warren Dew's user avatar
  • 2,643
4 votes
Accepted

How do I get my 7 year old to learn their spelling words independently?

Reading is the best practice for spelling. My suggestion is to not focus so hard on "spelling" practice, like it's its own discipline. Reading, writing, and spelling are all part of the same set of ...
BrandonL's user avatar
  • 184
4 votes

How to get my child to play alone?

It really sounds like your kid is a strong extrovert while you (and maybe your spouse) are introverts. The main sign is that she is recharged by being in company whereas you find it exhausting. ...
user3067860's user avatar
4 votes

My 17-year-old daughter gets excellent grades but shows little interest in socializing or getting a job

It sounds like a complex situation with more than one factor in play. It may be worth both your and her time to see a physician, if only to rule out biological issues. By itself, the behavior ...
pojo-guy's user avatar
  • 3,697
4 votes
Accepted

How can I help my mother realize her harmful behavior towards my brother?

You say, She agrees with my point of view, but seems to be unable to look at her own behavior in an emotionally detached way in practice. Thus she is unable to amend it. She still continues to ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
4 votes

How do we help 2 yo play independently when we’re busy?

Your son wants interaction because you're the two people in the world that he cares most about. It is often boring playing on his own, and he isn't getting as much positive feedback by himself — he ...
Ian MacDonald's user avatar
3 votes

How do I get my parents to let me vacation by myself?

I had to have this same talk with my daughter not too long ago,, otherwise I'd be suggesting that this belongs in interpersonal SE. Even though, the question was posed by an adult child, it is a ...
pojo-guy's user avatar
  • 3,697
3 votes
Accepted

How to console a baby who prefers to cry alone?

Sounds good. Here's an interesting technique that I believe could help here. When he goes off, be near and tell him that you need a hug. If no response, repeat, "I NEED A HUG", and wait, if no ...
user23895's user avatar
  • 499
3 votes

How to engage my 4-year-old daughter to do something by her own?

Sounds like a normal 4-year old to me. Imaginative play and boredom are good, especially at this age when there is no pressure to succeed. Your main concern seems that her play has no purpose (my ...
user61034's user avatar
  • 1,575
3 votes

How to engage my 4-year-old daughter to do something by her own?

My advice- if you are not already doing this, take 30 minutes a few times a day, sit with her in a comfortable chair or couch, and read to her. Give it all your attention. Pro tip- many (too many) ...
Jonah Benton's user avatar
3 votes

How to teach my almost 7-month-old to play on his own without getting angry?

Having little ones cry is really hard for a momma! I'm sorry you are going through this. 7 months is right at the end of age span when most babies gain object permanence (when they realize that ...
Musia414's user avatar
  • 412
3 votes

How do we help 2 yo play independently when we’re busy?

Toddlers are very social. We also had difficulties cooking while the children wanted to be with us. Having lots of toys and books helped somewhat. Another big help was a toy kitchen with a toy stove, ...
Timur Shtatland's user avatar

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