52

Is lying worse than the good aspects? Aren't the negative things it brings (telling them the truth eventually) worse than the good things? No. Children experience the world differently than adults, due to their incomplete knowledge. It may, in fact, be harder for some children to understand that my daily departure from home for many hours is what keeps a ...


49

It's absolutely possible to give kids presents on Christmas without bringing Santa into the picture. (Indeed, even in families whose holiday tradition includes Santa, there are almost always presents where the tag says "From Grandma" or "From Uncle Tim", not "From Santa".) Interestingly, even if you don't tell your kids about Santa, it's possible they will ...


38

There is no need to lie. Telling the "Jedi truth" is a different matter. I remember, back in college, turning on the TV and listening to some bible-thumper tell me that we shouldn't tell our children about Santa Claus, because we're eventually going to have to tell them that he's fake. And then...maybe Jesus is fake?!? I'm Christian, so this really got ...


29

I somewhat like Pratchett's take on the question "You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT ...


10

I don't fault your parents for wanting everyone to come visit. Once kids get older and move out it becomes harder and harder to get everyone together, to have one more moment together as a family. That desire to have some more of something that made them happy isn't wrong. And the holidays are usually a good time for such things because many people get/...


9

My experience was a bit different from most. I found out, at age seven, on a bus full of other kids on the way to school the day after Christmas vacation ended. I remember a burning sense of shame, and of betrayal. Shame for being so "stupid" as to have believed a lie, and betrayal toward parents who had put me in the situation where I had half a bus full ...


9

I actually believe he does exist in a way similar to that depicted in the article, "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." So, when my daughter asked about it at five I said, "what do you think" she said, "I think he is real." Two weeks ago when she asked at six and said, "I don't know Mom" I responded by telling her the story of St. Nicholas and fessing ...


9

I admire the practical desire to not duplicate toys, items and experiences with your kids. They probably don't need two of the exact same toy or need to go to the zoo with mom one day then back the next day with dad. But some things will be duplicated out of necessity (your kids have clothes, beds, food, etc at both houses right?). Other things will be ...


9

Prepubertal girls are more susceptible to vaginal infections due to Lack of estrogen - leads to thinning of the vaginal mucosa Lack of pubic hair to protect the area Lack of labial fat pads Source: Pediatrics Clerkship, University of Chicago. Note that, under Etiology, the above source also lists "Foreign bodies". Sand can be an irritant: If an ...


7

I can only disagree - with your parents, that is. On the "dumbing down" That is a very precise observation of yours that is backed-up by studies and the practical observation of generations of teachers. The effect has even got a name: Summer learning loss. In short, it means a meassurable loss of academic skills over the summer holidays. This is ...


7

Don't lie to your children about Santa. Just don't. You won't destroy the "magic of christmas". Kids can have lots of fun with make-pretend without being lied to that its real. My brother and I were raised in a Christmas-lie free household. We got presents, and Easter eggs, and all the other fun parts, and we knew they came from our parents or assorted ...


7

Part of a child's reaction upon finding out that Santa isn't real depends on how you talk about him. If you talk about him with using a lot of fantasy and whimsey and a kind of wink in your eye, they'll figure it out soon enough, because in real life, reindeer don't fly any better than pigs. If you also read other mythological stories, for example, we read ...


6

Creating Santa is about making magic. When kids finally figure out there is no Santa, you can explain that they are right, Mum and Dad were just making magic for them, and now that they have figured it out, they get to be like the grown-ups and help make magic for younger children. While saddened by the realization that there is no Santa, they will be ...


6

My own childhood experience may illustrate a way that the figure of Father Christmas (as we would call him in the UK) can be introduced to children without the necessity of telling untruths (for any value of untruth). In my family we have a tradition of leaving stockings (very large ones) at the end of the bed on Christmas Eve and then having them filled in ...


5

That is unfortunately not exactly a parenting situation, but more about you and a bit about your ex. Which means, it will probably be closed. From my perspective, it's time you grow up and become self-reliant. It is not your son's duty to keep you from feeling lonely at the holidays. And if you are very clingy ("I have no one but my son to spend holidays ...


5

In addition to the great answers covering how you portray Santa, I'll add something related that's worth thinking about, regardless of when you address the reality. How you handle the revelation is very important, also. Be aware of your child's personality, and be prepared for several different eventualities. If your child is a "rules" child - teacher's ...


5

If you earnestly lie to your children about Santa, you are lieing. Don't lie to your kids. If you have a make-believe game with them about Santa, you are playing with them in the way that they are perfectly accustomed to playing all the time. Let's play trucks, lets play cowboys and indians (OK, that's not PC anymore these days), let's play ... ...


5

We had Baby Banz too, but my baby didn't like to keep them on. Evolution has a nice way of protecting baby's eyes even without sunglasses; pupils contract in bright light, preventing excess UV exposure. And babies can close their eyes if it's too bright for them, which they will do. So I wouldn't worry too much about the sunglasses, especially since you ...


5

Your child is still very young and the eyes are continuing to develop. As pointed out in the comments, keeping glasses on her can be a challenge. Whether it's a translucent cloth that's very breathable (I don't know what they are called, but think of a sunshade type cloth), sunglasses or something else, you should absolutely protect her eyes. Keep in mind ...


5

I have a similar type of situation with my father-in-law, and can point out some measures that we take. Your core responsibility is towards your own family unit, meaning your spouse and kids. Put their needs first. If your wife does not want your eldest to sit next to grandpa, then enforce that. Your own family's needs are more important than the ...


4

For us, we explain that Santa is all of us. That Santa is in fact still real, but not as a tangible human, more as an emotion or a motivation in us all. So parents fill the stockings - but not exclusively, since I fill my mother's stocking and she adds things to the ones I helped to fill. And we send "stocking extras" in parcels to be added to stockings when ...


4

I liked GdD's answer to this one if the problem was really a lack of understanding, but since it was actually the "high-ball technique" we wound up just giving her two things (one from us, one from "santa") that we just knew she would enjoy. She learned, we couldn't be manipulated. Then the Easter bunny brought the puppy ;-)


4

I have no idea of the actual magnitude of the effect of lying to offspring about Santa Claus. It's almost certainly impossible to figure, and to me the magnitude of any given lie was irrelevant. What concerned me originally, within a few months after my daughter's birth, was the simple realization that a good portion of things commonly told to children by ...


4

A dozen different answers an a dozen different opinions. I have two kids who believed in Santa until about ages 8 and 7 (younger one got hints from the older one) and all I can say is that they were just thrilled with the idea when they believed and were not disappointed at all when they found out the truth. It was more like a funny teasing. There were ...


4

Manipulative people, I find, often cross boundaries by taking advantage of your aversion to breaking with social norms. They can expect to get away with getting, in your example, one on one time with the kid, because in the face of no evidence, you would be more socially awkward to refuse that situation than they were to suggest it. Know that you do not ...


3

At a high level, even though truthfulness is very important for ethics, there are certain situations where it is ethically expected, acceptable, better or necessary to intentionally deceive someone. a ruse or feint in war undercover detective work a magic trick a feint in most games or sports a disguise or costume in a play concealing a surprise party ...


3

What Stephie said, plus: Studies have shown that execise is good for the brain. It increases blood circulation, breathing, and heart rate so that more blood (with oxygen and glucose) gets to the brain. After a certain age-dependent point, more studying/homework has sharply diminishing returns. One recommendation (in the U.S.) for homework is the "10-...


2

What would the negative effects be if you never tell them Santa exists? Of course there is the risk that your kid will tell other kids that do believe in Santa about it, but I think this could be easily handled. Could it? I didn't grow up with the myth of Santa in my house, although I did grow up in America. I found out about Santa in 1st grade. It was ...


2

Before I was born my parents decided to never lie to us children about anything. The only trust in my family I have ever lost is when my grandfather was dying his memory went and I quit trusting him to take messages. I know I can trust my family completely. I value this much more than anything santa may have brought.


2

This is my personal opinion, for what it's worth. I see no harm whatsoever in Skyping/Facetimeing with your child if no one objects. Even if he loves his grandparents and they are soothing and patient with him, they are not his mommy and daddy. They are not his "routine". I don't know exactly why he cries (it's likely hard for him to articulate exactly.) ...


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