Skip to main content
101 votes
Accepted

Grandparents want our three year old daughter to throw tantrums like her cousin did

What a pickle you're in! I find it hard to imagine an adult who demands proof of love from a 3 year old by her being distressed (begging and crying). But there you have it. Your parents delight in ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
92 votes

Grandmother keeps calling my daughter "Good girl"

The developmental science on not using "good girl" is, as I understand it, pretty nascent and theoretical; I can find a lot of blogs about it, but anything with actual research beyond the &...
deworde's user avatar
  • 10.3k
49 votes

Too many presents from Grandma - is this bad for my child?

I think that having a lot of things for your baby or kid is not a good thing, like toys or any other distraction (ipad, presents, bad food with sugar). This could create a behavior of only doing ...
Nard Dog's user avatar
  • 531
48 votes

Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?

I don't believe you can spoil a child without having them act spoiled. You can't jump in a pool without getting wet, just like you can't spoil a child without having it affect them. Spoiling a child ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
46 votes

Grandparents mistreating my children

You are your child's parent. It is your responsibility to defend your child, even from your own parents. If you can afford it, your wife should move to a hotel. But you will have to explain to your ...
DCook's user avatar
  • 1,612
37 votes
Accepted

(How) do you explain a 3 year-old that he has to stay at his grand-ma for longer than anticipated?

Just be straightforward. Tell him what will happen and why in whatever way you feel makes sense to him. Then ask open ended questions to check in on whether he understands (or not) and what his ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,274
30 votes
Accepted

How to encourage video chatting with family?

Calling someone or video-chatting is a quite abstract form of communication, and I would guess that her verbal skills are still rather limited, which makes a bilateral communication via screen ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
29 votes
Accepted

I don't want to be an involved grandparent. How do I let my son know?

I have small children now, but I can imagine that I will feel the same when I become a grandparent. When I had my first baby, I assumed that my mom will take care of him. I asked her, and she said ...
user61034's user avatar
  • 1,575
27 votes
Accepted

Grandparents mistreating my children

You have some of the picture, and the parts you have are obviously distressing. But until you have the whole of it, I would say nothing to your parents. Talk to your wife often, and support her; she'...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
24 votes
Accepted

Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?

I see a lot of things that you can do just in the question, though I'm not sure there's a true answer to your question. First of all, one of the hardest things for children to deal with is ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.8k
21 votes

How to handle 5-year-old granddaughter shouting "Get out" (of her room)?

Defer to her parents in all things. While I can absolutely agree that behavior like this, particularly when expressed in such a rude fashion is unacceptable, there are a few things you have to ...
Marisa's user avatar
  • 1,693
20 votes

Too many presents from Grandma - is this bad for my child?

At that age, there are pros and cons to having lots of toys, generally they're very superficial. For example: Pro: Very easily bored baby has lots of variety Con: Parents have lots of picking up to ...
WordsandNumbers's user avatar
15 votes

Grandparents mistreating my children

I don't know what your relationship with your parents is like, but here's what I would do if it was me and my son, and either my own dad (mom is deceased) or my in-laws: After hearing my son crying ...
MAA's user avatar
  • 3,213
15 votes

My son calls my father in law Grandpa "nonno" (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

I think you should tell your son to call his grandpa whatever he is comfortable calling his grandpa unless his grandpa asks him to call him something else. You're not overreacting and I think you are ...
SomeShinyObject's user avatar
15 votes

Grandmother keeps calling my daughter "Good girl"

It's very hard not to praise a child you love when they're pleasing you; I still do it, and I'm in my seventh decade and know better. So, empathy. But your wife and you are right that praising the ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
14 votes

How to encourage video chatting with family?

My kids (8 and 7) have gone in and out of interest of video chatting with Grandma (who they love seeing in person) over the years. We've not really stressed about it too much; we did at first, and ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.8k
13 votes

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

If it were me -- (and there are only going to be opinions, no 'answer'), I would take the opportunity to be positive and loving. Show this baby who you really are and teach her to appreciate her ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
13 votes

Grandparents want our three year old daughter to throw tantrums like her cousin did

I'd have a question for the grandparents: "Do you want her to be happy to stay, or sad to leave?" It looks to me like the grandparents are assuming that those two have to come hand in hand. I know ...
Cort Ammon's user avatar
  • 1,497
13 votes

Daughter is deciding to have a child with near-total stranger

First off, I would stick to your guns on not raising the child, but you don't need to cross that bridge until you get there. That may never be asked of you. It's going to be a while before this child ...
Cameron Roberts's user avatar
12 votes

I don't want to be an involved grandparent. How do I let my son know?

Kudos to you for doing such a good job of raising your son that he doesn't realize what a chore it was. I hope my kids feel the same. I'm in the same situation as you; being around children is ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
11 votes
Accepted

Should a 6 year old's grandmother be kept away if she is abusive to her father?

TL:DR: Set boundaries. This is not at all uncommon, and because of that, it takes a fair amount of insight to label yelling as abuse, but abuse it is. You're asking if witnessing abuse is bad for ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
11 votes

Grandmother keeps calling my daughter "Good girl"

I'm pretty sure children take everything literally. Taking things literally actually requires quite advanced linguistic skills. Young children learn most meaning through context. At the age of 9 ...
Artelius's user avatar
  • 649
10 votes

How do we convince parents that we can't all be there within one week of the holiday every year?

I don't fault your parents for wanting everyone to come visit. Once kids get older and move out it becomes harder and harder to get everyone together, to have one more moment together as a family. ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
10 votes

(How) do you explain a 3 year-old that he has to stay at his grand-ma for longer than anticipated?

I do not understand why so many people seem to think such problems ought to be hidden from their own children. 3-year-olds are certainly old enough to grasp basic concepts like love and good and bad, ...
user21820's user avatar
  • 422
9 votes

Grandparents mistreating my children

You are not there. You don't see what happens and thus have a hard time deciding what needs to be done. Your wife is there. Your wife does see what happens. Let her decide, now, and tell her you will ...
Peter's user avatar
  • 2,899
9 votes
Accepted

Should I give my son a christmas card from my mother, with whom we deliberately have no contact?

No matter what might have happened between you and your mother this is a nice gesture. My wife has no contact with her father, and our kids only vaguely know they have another grandfather somewhere. ...
Batavia's user avatar
  • 1,913
9 votes

4-year-old going on holiday without parents

I'm a bit apprehensive about him being without us, his parents, for 8 days so i decided to fly over for just a day and a half, to make sure he is fine. This is an awful idea. If you act like ...
swbarnes2's user avatar
  • 4,006
9 votes

Grandmother keeps calling my daughter "Good girl"

I personally have used a bunch of phrases in congratulating my daughter on her success. I think the important thing is not the exact phrase used, but the relationship with the child and that their ...
stan's user avatar
  • 2,766
8 votes

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

Honestly, I think you should do all you can to babysit regardless of what they call you. You yourself can prove that you are more than a babysitter and to children they don't care about names, they ...
Bugs's user avatar
  • 2,080

Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible