Hot answers tagged

135

Seems to me that the true question is, How do I teach my child to weigh the value of the color of a bike versus the quality of the bike (and perhaps price?). As such, I think this is a great learning moment for your daughter. Either sit down in front of a computer with an appropriate web shop pulled up, or go to the bike store, and select several different ...


49

In my experience, kids are curious when they have interest in something. She may just not yet have found anything she has particular interest in. Often you'll be surprised at what they do eventually find interest in; my younger child showed a ton of interest in learning to play the violin, all of a sudden, for example earlier this year. Give her lots of ...


40

If you have OCD, then this might be the intrusive thoughts of OCD, as there is a genetic component to it. However, diagnosing kids this young is difficult, and it's not at all uncommon that kids with a psychiatric diagnosis at one point are found a few years later to have been misdiagnosed. So... time will tell. As someone with OCD, you are in the perfect ...


36

I liked @Willow Rex's answer quite a bit, and I think it can solve your problem. However, there's another aspect to your question that I think can be addressed if you so desire. Since you already told the teacher in charge and she dismissed your concerns out of hand, then discuss it with the principal. If you get no results there (they really should take ...


22

Color is certainly important to a 7 year old girl. However, at that age you should be able to negotiate a compromise with her. You can just explain to her that unfortunately the bikes don't come in pink, and then show her the available colors, and let her choose one of those. You may find it's not really such a big problem. She may be equally happy with a ...


21

In addition to books and academics, engage your child in nature exploration. Take her out on walks in the woods, boating or canoeing on lakes, camping, etc. The natural world has many more features than human-made surroundings in residential houses or schools. When allowed to explore nature, children are more likely to engage with the outside world and ...


19

You can have a family while being in a same sex relationship. I have a lesbian couple living on my street with 2 sons (thanks to a sperm donor) and a good friend of mine is lesbian and is in a wonderful relationship. And yes, it COULD be a phase. It's not uncommon for girls around their age to be attracted to other girls and grow out of it. But this could ...


16

First, good on you guys for recognizing this and addressing it both with your daughter and the group that held the event. It's not always easy to speak up in a group setting when this happens RIGHT THEN; although I'm a pretty much "in the brain, out the mouth" kind of person, I fully advocate taking the time to make the CORRECT response, not just any ...


16

Very important! My daughter is a bit younger only 4.5 years old. I made a mistake and I bought her a black/blue color Specialized kids bike, thinking it should be good for my son who is 2 years younger when she outgrows it. She hardly used it, because she had no personal connection to the bike and I could not make her use it more than a minute or two. ...


14

You might think about getting a used bike (I'd hate to do this to a new bike) and let her pick out a color to paint it. I'm sure your local home improvement shop could recommend a good paint (with sealer and whatever else is necessary). It could be a fun project that you could do together (maybe with a smaller paint brush for her). Sure, it may not look ...


14

Following from my comment. Your older daughter has been the apple of your eye, until recently. She has had centre stage, with no rivals. Now she has one - a 3 mth old sibling, who, understandably (for us) is now the 'star'. She doesn't appreciate the situation, but does inderstand the things which get adults' attention. She's using those to gain back at ...


13

At this point, you're not teaching your daughters how to run a tea party. That's their job to teach you. You're teaching them (by example) how to cooperate, negotiate, share, make decisions, respond and adapt to change, resolve disputes, and tidy up when they're done. Don't sweat it if they don't understand what you're trying to show them right now. The ...


12

With that background, is getting her into some kind of therapy or at least in contact with a school counsellor an option? OR get someone to help the family in the household? Perhaps even both. I am asking because with the background you describe, her looks really seem just a symptom! She is 13. Her mother is very ill. Her father is barely keeping things ...


12

Your body is yours. Unless you expressly consent to a hug on each and every occasion it's de jure harrassment. However, you've not given express consent each time, so what now? If you want a legal option, move your question to Workplace.SE or Law.SE. Since you asked on Parenting, I assume you want a softer response: guidance on changing the kids' behavior. ...


12

It's normal to be hetero, gay, lesbian, bi, pan, whatever. People are different, and you cannot chose. People are who they are. You seem to have problems accepting this. I recommend you first work on yourself to open up to the world as it is. Your might read autobiographical books or blogs or watch movies by LGBT authors. There are TED Talks by LGBT about ...


11

This is something of a challenge to answer objectively. I'm going to try instead just throwing a random assortment of advice out there. See if slacks are an option. When I was in a school with a uniform, I had a friend who hated skirts and she wore slacks instead. (A polite question to the school can answer that easily.) However, I actually found skirts to ...


10

Diffuse these situations without adding to a perceived disparity. A simple comment to the tune of "oh, my daughter is at the right age, not my son" would probably have been the best bet. Treat these situations as simple oversights, don't teach your daughter that she will be prejudice against or that she will need to be catered to. You have encountered ...


10

I am a retired special ed teacher and hugs do seem to come with the job, don't they?! Not only can it be awkward due to the size of the child and where they might touch, but often times hugs came with a runny nose and left deposits. So if you are a music teacher and the children are sharing instruments, you might talk about clean hands, sneezing and how ...


9

I'd like to address this: The boss of the project then told me that I should under no circumstances talk about it with the mother. She said the girls probably come from a family where hugs are given freely and that they are simply too young to understand why it bothers me. I have a family where hugs are given freely; family friends and their children are ...


9

Prepubertal girls are more susceptible to vaginal infections due to Lack of estrogen - leads to thinning of the vaginal mucosa Lack of pubic hair to protect the area Lack of labial fat pads Source: Pediatrics Clerkship, University of Chicago. Note that, under Etiology, the above source also lists "Foreign bodies". Sand can be an irritant: If an ...


9

From personal experience, when I went to the elementary school I got bullied a lot because I didn't fit in. High school was little better for me. But thanks to online gaming I came into contact with people like me. I met my best friend 14 years ago online, and in 4 months I will be there for her wedding. And I can personally not imagine a life without her ...


8

I suppose you refer to the situation India, which has even hit inernational press lately? (No bashing intended, I commend your awareness and foresight!) Please consider what you want to achieve: You want her to realize that there are some bad men that can do horrible things. That means, not all men are bad and a general "stay away from boys" would be too ...


8

In my 11 year old daughter's class, none are even close to this stage. Of my wider group of friends, only one has a daughter that has started shaving her legs, but she had to start at about 8 - very early puberty for that one...has her mother's genes. From the UK's National Health Service guidance, Most girls will begin puberty at 8-14 years of age, ...


8

I don't have a lot of experience with pre-teen girls, other than having been one once upon a time, but since I was asked to elaborate on my comment. I agree with your assessment that making it 'forbidden' will make it more attractive. If I were you, I would figure out what is non-negotiable to you as a parent. Homework, chores, hygiene and so forth. If ...


8

I upvoted Joe's answer, and I see no need to repeat it. Just a couple of notes I'd add: Don't belittle her concern about the color. Such things can be very important to people in general and to little girls in particular. When we bought a new house a few years ago it was very important to my then-16-year-old daughter that her room be repainted purple. And ...


8

If she were a black lipstick girl, would you feel any different? How about tie-dyes with hemp jewelry? Barely legal slut outfits? If you want her to focus more on her appearance, you're asking her to come to your level of reasoning. Good luck with that in a 13-yo. If you instead ask her why she likes to mismatch her clothes and not brush her hair, you will ...


8

It's entirely possible that she is uncomfortable with the changes in her body. Perhaps she would feel more confident in a sports or athletic bra? It may "hold her in place" more securly and allow her to run and play without drawing the attention of boys her age.


8

I wouldn't stress over whether or not this is a phase. You should be able to be supportive of your children regardless of whether their preferences may or may not change over time. What her life is going to be like is largely culturally dependent, there are definitely parts of the world where coming out as LBTQ is associated with more immediate risks than in ...


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