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382 votes

How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?

Firstly, I have to admit that while reading your question I was wondering if you're being serious. For me (as a hopeful future father with the same questions in mind), your solutions sound shocking ...
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  • 3,314
102 votes

How should I handle a little boy who likes girls' toys?

Kids like toys. My daughter plays with trucks and shovels and her toy lawn mower. My son will undoubtedly wind up playing with old toys that my daughter used to play with. This link from baby center ...
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82 votes
Accepted

I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?

Offer her more, different things. And if she likes pink, then just let her be pink! I am sure you are not holding "boy"-things away from your daughter, but if she doesn't care or them, that's life ...
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  • 3,109
67 votes

How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?

Wow! Well, it sounds as though you want to be the perfect family, and the perfect parents. And it's easy to understand why. Who wouldn't want the best of everything for their children? I have a couple ...
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  • 4,560
67 votes

How should I handle a little boy who likes girls' toys?

Playing with "girl" toys at the age of five is indeed completely normal behavior for a little boy. You are correct not to worry and to allow your son to play in the way that he enjoys. It doesn't mean ...
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  • 591
64 votes

I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?

Boys ≠ girls When I had mine, one of the things I found really surprising (which with hindsight should have been obvious) is that girls and boys are not the same. I had always assumed tabula rasa, ...
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61 votes

How should I handle a little boy who likes girls' toys?

Your son is doing what he is doing in response to his own internal drives. His actions are nothing but a combination of genetics and life experience. Playing with dolls won't "turn him into a fag." He ...
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58 votes
Accepted

Two year old son sometimes using female verb endings - grammar issue?

Important caveat: I don't speak a word of Russian, so I'm using Google Translate for my examples. I own a cat. Naturally, we always refer to the cat by her name rather than as "cat", so my son has ...
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  • 777
57 votes
Accepted

How should I handle a little boy who likes girls' toys?

There's nothing whatsoever wrong with your son, but there is something very very wrong with his father. The best thing you can do is try to limit your sons exposure to this person. If he has these ...
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  • 3,743
56 votes

How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?

We homeschool our kids, so perhaps I can provide a unique perspective. A lot of the other answers seem to be primarily worried about friends. People sparked friendships for millenia before ...
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55 votes

How best for a trans and/or non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

Six years old is old enough to understand gender in a general sense, and it’s definitely old enough to have an intelligent conversation about the complexities of gender. So my answer is to be honest ...
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  • 57.4k
50 votes

I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?

There is a difference between exposing children to the various things life has to offer and forcing your choices on them. There is nothing wrong with pink princesses or other "girly girl" things. So,...
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  • 796
50 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

You bring up many points that show that your relationship with your kid is not the best at the moment. But I'd like to focus on your kid presumably being trans. It isn't a trend Yes, there are more ...
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42 votes

How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?

You lack one key: To be wonderful, to be amazing, to be successful, she must not be locked in this overwhelming strategy. Sadly, you are contributing to "this sexist world". It seems the motivation ...
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38 votes

How best for a trans and/or non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

A decent approach may be to keep it simple: "I'm still figuring that out", which sounds like a decent summary of where you are at the moment. Most kids are pretty chill about adults admitting we don'...
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  • 533
37 votes

How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?

While I think your intentions are good, I think that some of what you are doing will actually have negative effects. Dolls are a perfectly healthy toy - both my son and my daughters played with them. ...
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  • 26.4k
36 votes
Accepted

Should Disney princess movies be avoided?

I agree that there may be an issue here - ie, some Disney movies perpetuate gender stereotypes, gender roles, and other things that aren't good things to perpetuate. However, I feel like this is ...
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  • 57.4k
36 votes

Should Disney princess movies be avoided?

In my experience, people see what they want to see in movies. For example, there was a brouhaha about Frozen promoting a gay agenda. If you actually examine the plots, the messages of princess ...
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35 votes

How should I handle a little boy who likes girls' toys?

Your son likes picking out his clothes. I can't see that as a gender-defining issue. One of my (now married) sons had such a great eye for arranging flowers in the most interesting and imaginative ...
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  • 66.7k
33 votes

Not ready for boy

I understand that having 2 miscarriages can be very hard. However just try to accept your kid-to-be for who he is. A girl will never be the girl you imagine, but her own person. So will this boy. Even ...
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  • 1,873
31 votes

How to help my son to be himself?

This really resonated with me. From my own experience, and speaking as someone who danced ballet for a number of years (in point shoes), wore girlish clothes and make up, etc... –– it's impossible to ...
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31 votes

Not ready for boy

Because of a medical condition I had, I was told I would be very unlikely to bear children. When I got pregnant (the first time), I thought it would be my only child. I imagined (and wanted) a girl. ...
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  • 66.7k
28 votes

Two year old son sometimes using female verb endings - grammar issue?

I think it's too soon to relate your child's use of gendered language to his own gender. As you say he is two, there's a good chance that he doesn't yet have a full concept of his gender identity. It ...
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  • 7,524
24 votes

How should I handle a little boy who likes girls' toys?

I highly doubt there is a correlation between sexual orientation and the kind of toy one plays with at five years old. I can't imagine what would cause that, anyway; 'boy toys' and 'girl toys' are ...
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  • 57.4k
23 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

I would suggest going carefully – the worst thing you could do is hurt your child or your relationship with them. Make sure that whatever you do is something that makes them feel loved and listened to....
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  • 310
20 votes

How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?

My daughter is about to turn 11, and I have similar hopes for her. Each of the paragraphs below is a category that her father and I have found to be influences on her in some way, and ways we try to ...
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  • 22.5k
20 votes

How much protection from me coming out as a transwoman does my child need?

Depending on where you live, this might sound controversial, but children don't need protection from their parents as long as they don't engage in violent, sexual or otherwise unhealthy behavior in ...
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  • 521
19 votes

I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?

Play with her. Play by yourself. Model the behavior you expect from her. Give her access to other role models that exhibit the behavior you want her to experience. She may never choose to play with ...
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  • 6,533
17 votes

My daughter just turned 13 and confides in me she wants to be a boy

Surgery sound scary, but it's not like on TV: you can't simply walk in and get surgery. Surgeons need to follow the WPATH Standards of Care (pdf) at the bare minimum. To my knowledge, all forms of ...
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15 votes

TV shows for toddlers that don't teach bad gender and race dynamics

On top of the great answer from bmgh1985 (and I'd particularly second their recommendations of 'Something Special' and 'Balamory') here are some more suggestions: In the Night Garden: Very safe, very ...
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  • 4,560

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