33

I understand that having 2 miscarriages can be very hard. However just try to accept your kid-to-be for who he is. A girl will never be the girl you imagine, but her own person. So will this boy. Even boys can enjoy baking cookies or do many of the same activities that you would like to do with your girl. The important thing to to raise him with the values ...


31

This really resonated with me. From my own experience, and speaking as someone who danced ballet for a number of years (in point shoes), wore girlish clothes and make up, etc... –– it's impossible to know who your son is going to "be" when he's an adult. People tried this a lot with me. It was always painful when I was sat down and given the "talk" that "...


31

Because of a medical condition I had, I was told I would be very unlikely to bear children. When I got pregnant (the first time), I thought it would be my only child. I imagined (and wanted) a girl. An ultrasound revealing the male sex of my baby totally threw me into a panic. I was actually devastated! I did get used to the idea, but I was sad, I felt a ...


13

I tend to stick to facts as much as possible, and trust that for the parts children may be too young to fully grok, giving them more information than they can process is less likely to cause problems than letting them try to fill in missing pieces on their own. A simple "some people are born with a penis, and some people are born with a vagina" may be ...


13

I am taking the time to answer-ify @dessert's amazing comment: Consider adoption. Other answers have good advice for this specific situation, and I wholly support loving your son for who he is. I wholly support keeping any expectations at arm's length, too, as any child can always be something other than what you were expecting. They almost certainly will ...


13

Telling him is one thing, showing him is another. He's very likely picking up this "information" from TV and other kids, but if he sees in his every day life that Mom likes the color green best, and Dad makes great bread, and his female cousin loves to play with cars and trucks, he'll figure it out. We make a point of letting our kids see us do things that ...


11

As a woman who studied science and is now in a male-dominated industry, I will try to give my perspective. Complements are freely given, and just like you wouldn't ask for a different kind of gift, you probably shouldn't ask for a different type of complement. Taking that into consideration, I would recommend the following: 1) With strangers or ...


10

No particular age has been set in stone, but there is some evidence to suggest as early as 18 months of age (Eichstedt et al., 2002; Poulin-Dubois, 1998). However, it is quite possible the answer depends on the child's cognitive, social, language development. In fact quite a bit of literature suggests that at the very least 2 years old's are able to ...


9

This is actually fairly typical for kids around the time they start heading off to school (4 or 5 or so). Your boy might be a little early on the uptake here, but that's okay. Kids start noticing differences at this age. First gender, then race. I knew two kids in a fours classroom that had played together at preschool for two years that all of a sudden ...


8

I would teach my son "mean people are mean and that isn't because of anything about you". My son has long hair. He was about 2 when he asked me why he has to cut his hair and I don't. I had no good explanation so I simply told him he doesn't have to either. After that he didn't. He loved his long hair, until one day some very mean children were mean ...


8

I don't think your son is stereotyping so much as he is learning to classify. He has noticed there is a difference between girls and boys, and he knows he's a boy and that his mother and some of his friends are girls, and in his mind he is trying to figure out what that means. Rather than focusing on correcting his stereotypes, or trying to correct them ...


7

In my experiences of seeing my daughters (10&7) issues with this, wanting to play soccer, rugby, surfing,and do computing and gaming. Is not my support or the support of the adults coaching/running the activities. Things that you need to bear in mind regarding peer pressure, is to first understand where the mindsets are coming from. Peer pressure comes ...


5

As already said it's a good place to start with the facts as accurately as possible. I have always found something along the line of "Most boys have a penis" to work best. It's completely accurate and helps you to explain private parts in terms of someone's sex while still leaving the door open that someone's gender and sex may not always match, ...


4

There are two key things that I would look for when my child is "challenging" a gender stereotyped activity. The right coach/teacher. I've written before about the importance of having a qualified instructor for health and safety reasons. This can be even more important in a sport where most children are a different sex, since there are some physiological ...


4

There isn't much you can do to stem the tide of random strangers praising her looks. (And to be fair, what else do they know your daughter for?) Pretty much the only thing I have found even slightly effective is to redirect the discussion to a skill or non-physical trait. What a pretty princess! Thank you. We're very proud, she can [roll over already], [...


3

I personally know people who have switched genders, and going trans is certainly not out of the ordinary. Its also possible that when he made like he couldn't hear you that something was distracting his attention, such as activity from someone else...or it could have been a connection problem Its hard to say without reading the nuances of the situation, but ...


3

I like Valkyrie's answer very much: show him counter-examples. I also agree with balanced mama, that his having concrete ideas about the differences between boys and girls is developmental. I'd just add one more thing, looking at it from your son's point of view: He's noticed that girls and boys are different, and more importantly, that they are ...


3

It's a strictly personal reaction, so it's difficult to be of any help. Nonetheless I'd like to propose my view. Paternity and maternity is neither a right nor a duty. It's an opportunity that you can or cannot have for a number of reasons. I am the proud father of three boys: we decided to have three sons and we hoped for at least a girl. We have been ...


2

As another former girly boy, I want to echo NonCreature0714's warning that you don't know, at age 8, who your son will be as he gets older. He might be gay or transgender, (or, like the late great Prince, gender non-conformist) but he might just be going through a pink-and-sparkly phase. All you can really do is give him your own unconditional love and ...


2

Just keep doing what you are doing, reinforce the message not only to him but to those who you have influence with, that he is a wonderful person, and that you love him just the way he is. That, more than anything else you can do or give him, will give him the strength to deal with the sociental disapproval which is directed at anyone who dares to swim ...


2

You don't give many details, so it's not easy to answer your question, but I got with "should I do anything else?" You haven't explained why you don't trust your child. From all I can read, your child is sincere, so I would suggest, to believe your child and act accordingly. See that as an investment into your relationship. In detail this means: ...


2

I've found that immediately after the baby is born, you are filled with such love, welcoming, and gratitude for the baby you have that any previous feelings of disappointment over, e.g., the baby's sex immediately disappears. This may not be something that happens all the time, but I've found it in my own experience and in my friends' experiences.


1

Your question was: "Is anyone else unhappy about their child's gender" and the answer is emphatically yes. It's common to want one or another. Fortunately, people are usually wired to enter a different mode very, very quickly when the wee folk arrive and the real work starts, which includes quickly getting over any gender hangups. To start, you will almost ...


1

This all depends on how he feels about the bullying. If he's confident about the toys he's playing with then likely he didn't care what they think. If he is affected by the bullying then he has to decide if it's worth giving up things that he loves and makes him happy for other people. You can even ask him if those are the type of people he wants in his life....


1

It's natural to have many hopes and expectations about a child before it is born, some of which are reasonable and some of which are not. But your child is going to be an individual, and will not match all your expectations no matter what. So, even if your child were a girl, you would still find yourself forced to readjust your expectations once she got ...


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