37

First off, your interaction with your toddler is totally common (I would say it's borderline universal, actually). Toddlers that age love to push boundaries. I would say two things - the first is, don't sweat it so much. If your kid only eats crap, let it happen. They're seriously not going to be a 20 year old who only eats chicken nuggets. Hitting and ...


22

Outside of competition, do you have any other concerns? I know many parents may prefer splitting up siblings like twins in school so that they can each open up with other students and not isolate themselves, but I don’t think this would be an issue with cousins. Competition happens naturally with friendships and family so I don’t think splitting them up ...


21

From what you describe, it sounds like you're making a huge and sensible effort to be a good parent. I think you would do well in a situation where you are not overruled. But it's clear from your description that your parents are overruling your parenting decisions, and this is the thing that causes you the most grief. This is what you should work on -- ...


16

Father of 11 year old twins here. Our kids were in the same group in pre-school (ages 0.5 to 6), then in different elementary schools (ages 6-9; there was a girls' school nearby that the girl liked and that wouldn't take the boy), finally they started out at different middle schools, but the girl joined the boy in his school & class halfway through 5th ...


13

First of all, your daughter's behavior is perfectly normal for her age. I don't know if that thought is terrifying or comforting. They are basically hardwired to seek out the adult of least resistance. The usual way for households to survive that stage is by all adults getting on the same page, which is sometimes easier said than done. Your parents don't ...


13

What we have always taught our kids is the following: avoid fights where possible if can't avoid it, try to ensure it happens in view of an adult/teacher and make sure it is obvious you were only defending yourself try and avoid hurting the other person too much - focus on blocking and defence Where we had problems with a bully at the kids school, after ...


11

Is it drying by towel? As a kid I hated having someone else wiping my face clean, it felt so invasive, demeaning and uncomfortable (and to be honest I think I just got used to fighting it). The washing... I don't know. Maybe give him the option to do it himself? The towel might be a bit too vigorous for his taste (not an accusation! I'm sure you're ...


9

This is not an easy topic in the recent political climate. You have three concerns to balance: legal concerns, school rules, and practical considerations. Legally, in the United States, you are justified in using force until a threat is ended and no further. That means it's okay to knock a bully down, but not to kick him when he's down, or chase after him ...


9

I'll answer by extrapolating, no doubt somewhat naïvely, from my experience as a teacher in my second year. When I began, I found that I loved teaching one or two kids, liked a few, shrugged my shoulders at a few, and hated teaching one or two. They hated my class and I was undermined by them, and we had nothing in common. I would have wanted them out of the ...


8

Back when I was a student teacher, my supervising teacher taught me a valuable thing about child psychology: kids (these were elementary-school kids) tend to focus on one person as the authority figure. If I was teaching a lesson at the front of the room but my supervising teacher was still watching in the back, as far as the kids were concerned, he was ...


8

Your Mom thinks she loves you but she needs to win! She treats it like a contest. She has many hidden ways of manipulating you and she is hitting you, too. Now she is winning the contest of being a parent to your daughter. All in the name of love, because she doesn't see that the goal of raising a child is to raise an independent strong person. You ...


7

As a father of a young girl only slightly older than yours, I can assure you, all the behavior you've described is perfectly normal. She is doing exactly what a child of her age should be doing. It's a very challenging age. She is a little person with her own personality, her own will, and her own opinions, and this is just how she is attempting to express ...


7

Kids aren't very good at listening or telling exactly what they need. This can get confusing/frustrating, especially with two kids try to talk to each other. Solving problems is something that needs to be learned. girl 1 has a need girl 1 doesn't say her need very well girl 2 doesn't listen well to what was say girl 2 understand something completely ...


7

Family or close friends can be a boon or a barrier in school. They can help provide needed confidence, social inclusion and make going to school fun. They can also be a source of stress, keep the child from broadening his social circle or be a distraction. While I would generally see that the upside trumps the risk here it really depends on one thing: How is ...


7

We can't tell why your parents are arguing so much; maybe they are worried about money, or work, or something else. These are stressful times for many people. Often when people are stressed they become irritable, which is itself irritating and stressful for the people around them. You are experiencing this yourself, its just that you don't react by shouting ...


7

Problematic as it is, I'm glad you're able to put words on this, because you've pinpointed the problem. The child doesn't need to change, but you need to start liking the child. To address your question in your last paragraph, no you shouldn't just suck it up; this is something you should actively work towards fixing. Everybody likes the easy child. It is ...


6

You sound like you are in a very bad situation right now and I want you to know that you are taking a courageous and important first step by seeking objective feedback about your situation. As a therapist,I will echo what many have said previously...your relationship with your mother is the root of many of the issues you are having with your child. A good ...


6

It's pretty natural not to talk after a big fight; if not bound to one house, they would probably go their separate ways. How I would react depends to some degree on what the fight was about, whether hurtful things were said that were untrue, etc. If you try to fix it immediately, you risk the kids feeling resentful that you "just don't get it". But you ...


5

I have a four year old daughter (4 and 1/4), and I am separated from her mother. I have my daughter almost 50%. The behaviour you describe sounds like normal pre-schooler behaviour. The thing to keep in mind is, she doesn't realise they anxiety she is causing you, she's an innocent little thing... to her it's just play. There's no malice in what she is ...


5

Our two-year-old has been the same way for the last year and a half. :-/ She likes splashing in the tub and washing the rest of herself, but really, really does not like having her hair washed (drying used to be almost as bad, but has gotten better since we started patting it gently instead of doing it the quicker normal/adult way). I wish I had an answer ...


5

Sounds pretty normal to me, at least up to a point. 3 and 17 months here, and not that different; except the 17 month old stands up to himself a bit better. We handle it in a very straightforward manner. Any toy grabbing means immediate removal of that toy from play for the day, unless that would excessively harm the wronged party if there is a clear ...


4

Our daughter initially didn't like getting her hair washed. It is rather invasive, like Michael said, but washing your hair is just a necessity of social standards. What I started to do was warn her. I'd let her know beforehand "I'm going to wash your head soon". At the same time I'd show her the shampoo and prep a wet washcloth just in case soap got into ...


4

A lot of sensible advice has already been given here. Here are some additional two cents from me: You need to move out, or confront your own parents. Put them in therapy if need be. The trouble with parents is that their children never grow up in their eyes, and the parents always think to be smarter and wiser. They also love to keep the same authority ...


4

It seems that moving out isn't realistic (though that would be your best lever), nor is relying on the father of the child (You didn't mention, does he pay child support?) You need to have a long long talk with your father. Unless your dad has an objective reason to be afraid (he's penniless and jobless and your mom would divorce him for speaking up; or he ...


4

I am not sure what the issue is, whether it's that her kids are sleeping where you two sleep, or that she just goes to bed right away once they're asleep, or something else. Editing your question to make that clearer would help. However, I recommend you stop trying to get her to agree to something in general (especially after she has refused) and instead ...


4

Me and my cousin were same class from 3rd Grade to 8th Grade. His home was just walkable for me. We were't not very close in school even though we were in same class. It was a bit awkward when we see each other family gathering. I studied little better so his parents got worried sometimes. If we were just simply cousins rather than school mates our mutual ...


4

I recommend starting with acknowledging and accepting the feelings your siblings have toward each other (or in general). Specific acts do not have to be necessarily accepted. In particular, real physical fighting (as opposed to play fighting) should be off-limits in most cases. See more about this and many other useful tips in Faber and Mazlish (2012). ...


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