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128

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to: Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere? Don't go to Churches: You surely know ...


43

It seems to me that being shouted at is likely to make any child cry, particularly by an older child. Shouting is not nice, and intimidating particularly from an older child. Door knocking i've not seen before, but if door knocking includes fairly loud knocking, it could also be a bit disturbing. More likely to me, he's concerned about some change when ...


37

Smoke detectors are not "harmless", especially if you are three years old and had one going off suddenly. Can you explain to him how they work? Not the technical details, but the purpose: smoke -> alarm -> safety. And that they have to be very loud so that they wake everyone up in case of a fire? They are like the siren on a police car, fire truck or ...


34

It is important to recognize that even though we, as adults, know that there are no such things as ghosts, to the child they are real. And no amount of logic will convince them otherwise. You have to accept, for a while, that what they think is real, is actually real, and then you can deal with making it not scary. So rather than trying to reverse their ...


29

I've got a hard time explaining the motives of the terrorists. I don't know whether this is the best article on the subject (it's near the top of this Google search) but for example What Motivates Terrorists? starts with, One of the most frequently asked questions about terrorism is also the most intractable. Why? Why do they do it? Why do people join ...


24

(What is it with toddlers and hot air balloons? Mine can't stand them either -- I think the floating blows his mind... what's holding it up in the air?!?) We frame the holiday in terms of playing pretend: "you get to dress-up and pretend you are something else!" I try to only have mildly scary things around, and also teach him it can be fun to be a little ...


23

We had exactly the same situation with our daughter, until very recently (she is three years old now). The best recommendation I can give you is: Patience.. Patience.. Patience... We were always firm about washing her hair regularly, even though she protested quite strongly. On the other hand, we always told her before, that we would wash her hair today (...


22

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all ...


21

That particular irrational fear is common. Take her fears seriously, because they're real to her. Explaining that they are unfounded doesn't work, nor does smiling at or dismissing her fears. If you're reassuring and comforting, she'll learn one more reason to trust you with her feelings (really important) and that it's okay to feel afraid. Then you can work ...


20

With my 22-month-old son, the complete opposite approach works best. If I take water in a pitcher and shout: "Wooooo SPLASH!" as I let it all fall on his head, he laughs and asks for more. If I try to do it slowly and patiently, he complains. In general, I find that adding sound effects to the activities he dislikes helps a lot (such as going "bzzzz CLIP! ...


20

First things first: No, not all mothers are as protective as your wife is and from what you write, her behaviour is far from normal. (But of course we have only your statement to go by.) From what your comment suggests, you have no support from your inlaws, but it seems you need professional help. More than even a benevolent family or stangers on the ...


20

Scare tactics work but for the wrong reason. This is why they are a bad approach for getting your children to behave correctly in the moment or continue to behave correctly. I grew up in a religious family. A lot of my friends were also very religious. Fortunately, my parents raised me to know that when I did upsetting things, it wasn't going to be an ...


19

I like Chris' answer, but consider that there is a difference between spiders and guns. Guns are actually dangerous, while many spiders we encounter daily aren't. So while your daughter's anxiety might be somewhat inexplicable considered that she's not afraid of your revolver, it certainly isn't irrational or misplaced (see footnote below). If I were you, I ...


18

Being brave is not the absence of fear, it is doing the right thing even though you are afraid. Fear is good, it is based off of natural preservation instincts and can warn of danger. You need to teach him about the things that are more important than self preservation: Teach him about principles and standing for them, Teach him about chivalry, teach him ...


18

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available role. If you join as a volunteer, you will get much better treatment than if you were conscripted and you might even become an officer. Working in this type of ...


17

Something happened. What, nobody knows except him. Probably he is now reminded of this when you give him a bath, and he starts screaming. If you now force him to have a bath even though he is screaming, this will just keep on making it worse. For every bath you give him while he is screaming, the association between horror and bathing will be stronger. You'...


16

If you want him to understand, use a simple concept that he should already be familiar with at that age: a mistake. The smoke detector is supposed to detect smoke and warn people about it, but this time it made a mistake, just like he does sometimes. Oops! And just like he gets frustrated when Mommy and Daddy remember a mistake he made forever and ever ...


15

Small traumas are a part of life, and learning to accept that is part of growing up. Some thoughts: Talk about it. When discussing the incident use calming language: It was an accident, and sometimes accidents happen. One time I had an accident (describe briefly) and I hurt my leg (or whatever). It scared me, but then after a while I didn't really think ...


15

Don't give up on having a dog; your son's fear is likely transitory, and there are ways you can help him overcome them. But it will take time and patience. I'm sure there are a number of ways to do this. Here is what I would recommend. Is he able to express yet why he's afraid of dogs? When he is, that will be a help, although he may not be able to ...


14

What I have found most effective is to teach them a coping mechanism, something active to do so they don't feel helpless, and give them plenty of time to employ it. For example: Okay, some water is coming. Close your eyes and mouth tightly so it won't get in! Kids often cry because they're scared of water getting in their mouth, which sort of creates a ...


14

This is the line I've taken, for better or worse... Like in school we trust teachers to be telling the truth about things in lessons. The people who attacked France, were told lies by their teachers but they really, really believe them - they think that we're bad people and they're good. So they want us to live their way. The way they were taught tells ...


13

I think her reaction is not unusual. Her safe space was violated, and it takes a while for it to start feeling safe again. My parents had similar reactions when their home was broken into: startling at shadows and sudden sounds, fitful sleep, and some apprehension when entering the house. It goes away slowly. My gut reaction is to offer as much comfort as ...


13

Children often have more awareness of the world than we give them credit for and it's important for us, as adults, to remember that the world can look very different from a child's perspective. Things that would seem illogical and wholly unrealistic to us, might seem inevitable to them. So you should try to spend some time to figure out exactly what she is ...


11

Poor little guy. Try searching for information on "childhood fears" and "night terrors", those are the usual terms used. Here's one set of basic recommendations: General Guidelines for Any Age When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with respect. Chansky suggests following these basic guidelines: ...


11

The problem is that it startled, scared, and hurt him, and he worries that it will do so again without warning. Smoke detectors are painful to hear nearby - they are just below the range of hearing damage precisely so they will alert the occupants of a problem. He's worried it will go off again, and, honestly, if you haven't found the cause you should be ...


11

I will try to make some suggestions which you may or may not find suitable: Talk to her about it. She obviously understands something about politics, explain her more about it, be ready to answer her questions. (If you are not a supporter of Trump, which we can't know) tell her that you personally do not wish him to become a president, promise her that you'...


11

Whether it's long guns, or spiders or heights or something else I think you need to deal with this the same way you would any other fear or anxiety. Talk with them about it. Try to understand why they are feeling anxiety about the object of their fear. Try to understand what caused it, when did it start and why it's happening. If you don't acknowledge their ...


10

These kind of stories are meant to scare children - the child collector from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the wicked witch, Grimm fairy tales, Doctor Who - we have a rich history of scary stories for kids. The problem isn't the being scared - it's actually a good healthy part of growing up. The thing to do is not try to persuade your child that they shouldn't ...


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