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112

I lived in a family which was fairly restrictive. They were quite religious, we always ate healthy, never any junk food, all our activities were vetted and scrutinized. It was also emotionally repressive; my father had a very bad temper and would strike us whenever he was angry. When I got out, went to college, got a job (like you, in the IT industry), I ...


49

You bring up many points that show that your relationship with your kid is not the best at the moment. But I'd like to focus on your kid presumably being trans. It isn't a trend Yes, there are more people openly living trans these days than ten or twenty years before, especially in the younger generation. But this doesn't invalidate these trans identities. ...


34

It looks from your post that you have very good reasons not to let your mother stay at your place. It seems that in spite of seeing all the reasons why this is a bad idea you are still hesitant. A few points to consider: If your mother stays even for one night it will be harder to ask her to leave or not to repeat her visit in the future. Not everyone ...


23

I would suggest going carefully – the worst thing you could do is hurt your child or your relationship with them. Make sure that whatever you do is something that makes them feel loved and listened to. Next, I would realize that children at that age are going through a lot, both mentally, emotionally, physically and in interpersonal relationships. If it ...


22

I agree with Ola M. You have to draw the line and then stick to it. "Sorry Mum, you can't stay with me." If you make excuses, she is going to be able to find 'solutions', so the only way is to tell the truth. You said you father understands, so I'd tell him the unvarnished truth and see if he has a way of telling your mum that won't be as hurtful. Perhaps ...


19

Depending on where you live, this might sound controversial, but children don't need protection from their parents as long as they don't engage in violent, sexual or otherwise unhealthy behavior in front of / with the children. Painting your nails, dying your hair or even dressing in feminine clothes is not sexual or unhealthy behavior, it's you living your ...


17

Surgery sound scary, but it's not like on TV: you can't simply walk in and get surgery. Surgeons need to follow the WPATH Standards of Care (pdf) at the bare minimum. To my knowledge, all forms of surgery require the age of majority (typically 18 years of age). Your child will need to get a referral (possibly two referrals) from a "qualified mental ...


16

From my perspective as a mother, the only thing I cringed at was the unlimited junk food part, largely because I have family that sees my (6 year old son) fairly frequently, and their "we're supposed to spoil him!" mentality has caused actual interference with teaching him good food choices. However, your cousin is at the point where he should know enough to ...


16

Your assumption that famous people might be flooded with wacko messages and hence careful and possibly shielded by employees is probably right. I don't think you should use public channels to contact him. Instead hire a lawyer to contact the child in question (or his manager), explaining why you think you might be his father, offering to be tested and ...


14

I am at a loss as to how to repair this relationship with the son now. I don't want to push them together by expressing my dislike of her and this whole situation to him, however, I fear this will be the result of trying to explain how his dad and I feel. I don't like this girl and I don't like that they can't come in and participate... I don't usually ...


14

What ever happens, make sure she has gender dysphoria. Transitioning without dysphoria is a massive mistake, and most realize this sooner or later. If she actually is transgender, then transitioning is necessary for the dysphoria. She needs to see a psychiatrist/psychologist for a diagnosis, and it's important she does not lie/use examples on the internet of ...


12

Call them both daddy. Joe (Or whatever his name is.) is also your daddy. This should be all the explanation your two-year-old needs. She is not likely mature enough to understand the complexity, and won’t be for a long time. So a simple explanation, “some girls get two daddy’s,” is enough for now. This is a perfectly normal practice for young children ...


11

We have no way to know the truth of this situation so my advice is: Set a time and a place for a meeting with your parents so you can talk it out. Your sibling should not be there and TV and so on should be off. Go in knowing that it is more likely a misunderstanding than a declaration of lack of love or caring. Do not accuse them of anything. Sit with your ...


9

I think it was wrong on your part to convince your daughter that her biological father loves her but is unable to visit. Even if you had to tell her a lie, it would have been better to say that you have no contact with him and have no idea where he is. In response to your question, I feel it's time you let your daughter know that he was never in her life. ...


8

Growing up I had a friend who feared things in life too, I remember talking to him when he was around 17. To him he wanted a stable job in his uncle's factory, nothing in management. He wanted a simple apartment and didn't want to date. He feared the drama, the stories of heartbreak and struggle, of loss. By the time he was 21 he had become a commanding ...


8

If you set things up the right way, mom only resting, holding baby and feeding for the first few days is feasible, and may even be ideal for establishing a good milk supply if she wants to exclusively breastfeed. The first week or so, a breastfed newborn's basic needs are as follows: Clean diaper and clothing Nursing on demand (which is usually very, very ...


8

Make it clear to your daughter that it's entirely her choice how she wants to live her life once she is grown up. Tell her you will stand by her regardless of how she lives it. Stress that you stand by her even in this difficult times. Maybe she wants to be called "he" from now on, I wouldn't deny this. If you do she/he will probably distance ...


7

It is difficult for us to guess: What is the reality of the situation, because everyone is biased, and you must be, too. And maybe there are a lot of situations where they think about you first, but you can't remind them. What is the point of view of your parents: maybe they behave like that on purpose, but the other (more likely) possibility is that they ...


7

All of them. All of them are being inflexible. So what if bed time routine is not executed on time. Basically the parents told the grandparents, who are doing them a favor, that their routine was more important. And the grandparents are hitting back by coming very late on the following day. All of them are being childish. Next time, pay a sitter service and ...


7

From the perspective of someone who has been on the far end of this situation, I would say follow the advice of other posters and be as welcoming as you can to both of them. If their relationship is strong enough to progress into something permanent, you don't want to be involved in a war with your future daughter-in-law. If their relationship falls off ...


7

This is not a full answer, more some advice. You say your daughter has some social anxiety (quite normal, certainly at that age) and that you work a lot. Is it possible she spends a lot of time alone and online? Spending too much* time alone and online is not very good for anyone's mental health, but it is an easy habit to form especially now with the ...


6

At home he isn't allowed to drink or eat any sweets. He is only allowed to see friends when he is passing all his classes with good grades. So that hasn't happenend in a long time. And Video Games are completly forbidden. The way you've worded your post makes it sound like his mother is the 'bad guy' because of all the restrictions but it sounds to me ...


6

Now hold on there. Escorts and prostitution aren't the same thing. Escorts usually have their own escorts with them to make sure things don't go south. Prostitutes... well, just hit the tenderloin in San Francisco about 1 AM and you'll see a few of those. Suppose his idea really is that he's OK with the concept of people who only bring him company because ...


5

I would just be honest. Some people (like my mother) go daily. Some go twice a week, some weekly, some less frequently & some never. What matters is that you do what helps you find peace & follow the path that takes you there & that won't look the same for every single person. Then, when it is children, I redirect the conversation onto ...


5

My first thought about "daughter will not drink from a bottle of water when her sister has had a drink from it first" is that if you let your daughter know that it bothers you and you make a big deal about it, she may also make a big deal about it. If you can ignore it, but ask your daughter to carry the water bottles and the separate food items -- or ...


5

I can't see how you caused this at all. Grandparents do spoil their grandkids to some extent, and usually it's all good. But there's a difference between relatively harmless rule bending and a desire to "set you straight". So, no, I would not tell her that something you've been tolerating as relatively benign is now off limits. That will send her a different ...


5

This is a partial answer, as the earlier answer is quite complete. The wife says, she would like to talk to a pediatrician to make sure recent studies prove children do not get traumatized. The vast majority of pediatricians will not have a ready answer for you. Like anyone else, they are most knowledgeable in (and focus on) what they see most often, ...


4

Your seven year old is technically correct. It's next to impossible to drink from a bottle without "backwash" (getting oral bacteria in the remaining water.) Two siblings not wanting to drink from the same bottle is not unusual at all, especially if there is any degree of ill-will or competitiveness between them. I don't know how well the girls get along, ...


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