56 votes

How best for a trans/non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

Six years old is old enough to understand gender in a general sense, and it’s definitely old enough to have an intelligent conversation about the complexities of gender. So my answer is to be honest ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 61.8k
50 votes
Accepted

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

Your options are limited. You're an outsider and very new to actually being in the family, doesn't matter how long you dated your wife previously. You've only been recently allowed to enter the inner-...
SomeShinyObject's user avatar
37 votes

How best for a trans/non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

A decent approach may be to keep it simple: "I'm still figuring that out", which sounds like a decent summary of where you are at the moment. Most kids are pretty chill about adults admitting we don'...
Morgen's user avatar
  • 523
26 votes

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

Currently you are guest in this home. You are being granted the courtesy to live there. It would not likely be advisable to offer any criticism of anything they do, as it has potential to really ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330
20 votes

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

Leave your father-in-law alone. It's not your business to talk to him about these things, you would invade his space and, very likely, nothing good would come from it. If your question is motivated ...
AnoE's user avatar
  • 2,810
16 votes

How do I tell my 13-year-old son I am his biological father?

I have not had this experience, so I have no first hand information. I have counselled one family in a similar situation -- the introduction of a birth mother to her child who was adopted by two ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.5k
15 votes

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

Am I overreacting?? Possibly. Probably. To adults this act - showing a young person a beheading - is horrifying, because we know all that it means. But a child might not see it that way, especially ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
10 votes
Accepted

How do I get my 7 month old niece to trust me?

Some kids are outgoing. Others, not so much. Some get scared by facial hair. Some get scared when it goes away. I can't say for sure why your niece is nervous around you, but I can take a guess. ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
9 votes

How do we address other adults telling my son to ask us to bring him to their house?

Should we say something to my SIL (who will, incidentally, burst into tears at virtually any criticism)? If it were me and if someone would have been bothering me like that, I would have spoken the ...
paradigmBreaking's user avatar
8 votes

How do I join a well established community (a family with my GF and her two kids actually)?

I'd suggest a few things. First let go of the city life. As they say, if you want a family, then "it is not about you anymore". Second, be there. Be at home, be available to, say, drive the girl (or ...
Ethan Aleman-Meza's user avatar
8 votes

How best for a trans/non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

The answer is incredibly simple: You ask their parents. Period. You're not their parent, so you don't need to get into complex discussions or judge their ability to participate in those discussions. ...
Floyd's user avatar
  • 405
7 votes
Accepted

What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?

When I was about 12 years old, I faced a similar situation with my mother and her smoking in the house. My mother is a very stubborn woman, but loves her kids. We were learning about the dangers of ...
jcmack's user avatar
  • 1,077
7 votes

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

It's really not your business, and as an adult guest living in his house, I assume rent-free, who has never had any parenting experience, I think your father-in-law, even if he is flawed in his ...
PoloHoleSet's user avatar
  • 2,159
6 votes

How to change a 4-year-old's violent and defiant behavior when his parents made him our responsibility?

Spanking doesn't stop (or even seem to influence) the behavior, so you might as well stop. Besides, it sends a pretty bad message to the child, and using the strap can get you involved with Child ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
5 votes

How do I join a well established community (a family with my GF and her two kids actually)?

You mention 3 issues in your post: Disagreement on parenting with your girl friend I don't have a lot of experience here, but treat it as a separate topic from everything else. Discuss your role ...
Ida's user avatar
  • 4,584
5 votes
Accepted

How would a child view a move based on materialism?

Wanting to move for better living conditions isn't a bad thing in and of itself. It does show a concern for the well-being of your family. However, better living conditions alone may not be a ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
5 votes
Accepted

How do we address other adults telling my son to ask us to bring him to their house?

You can address it with your son as it comes up. It may be possible to redirect ("puppies are fun, let's get a book on puppies from the library soon!"), promise a future visit (as long as you do plan ...
Acire's user avatar
  • 22.6k
5 votes

Has bending the rules with my mother in law caused this issue?

I can't see how you caused this at all. Grandparents do spoil their grandkids to some extent, and usually it's all good. But there's a difference between relatively harmless rule bending and a desire ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
5 votes

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

As a recovering Jimmy, please don't let this slide. If he's an older teen, of course he's capable of making choices, but the behavior he sees modeled will affect the ones he makes. I don't know the ...
zzxjoanw's user avatar
  • 151
5 votes

How can I help my nieces who suffer under their mother's behavior?

Personally I would take care of teaching this kid how to deal with such a situation. You can't do anything regarding the mother's behavior, but you sure can help your niece by showing her you care ...
Dave Côté's user avatar
5 votes

How to talk about a historic suicide in the family to young kids?

I'm not sure its a good idea to consider the childrens' ages individually, since they may be end up talking with each-other and learn they got a different story. I don't believe you should burden your ...
user7778287's user avatar
5 votes
Accepted

In which language to speak to third parties when following the OPOL approach?

Bilingual babies connect languages to persons and to situations eg. if you speak to her MOSTLY English then she will answer to you in English once she starts speaking. If you speak Dutch in the ...
Rekabeka's user avatar
5 votes
Accepted

How best for a trans/non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

A six year old is too young to have developed strong prejudices, and young enough to be confronted with new things every day. Therefore you should talk to the parents to make sure you don't step onto ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 1,537
5 votes
Accepted

Partner’s family's use of shortened name for child upsets me

I feel this question, because it's something I struggled with for a while - not with my in-laws, but with my partner. My partner used a 'cute name' for one of our children, sort of equivalent to Harry ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 61.8k
4 votes

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

I am of the opinion that we raise children as a family. This nephew is a minor child who has perhaps actually harmed his even younger cousin. Your son may have nightmares or fears that you may find ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.5k
4 votes

19 yr old niece lives with us and is upsetting family relations

At 19, she is old enough to understand requirements (conditions?) for living in your household and to decide if whatever rules you put in place are acceptable for her or not (hence stay with you or ...
RLH's user avatar
  • 339
4 votes

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

You ask two questions, I'll answer the second first. Should I just let it pass? Yes. What you describe could be considered lax discipline, but it's unlikely to be considered abuse or neglect. As ...
Adam Davis's user avatar
  • 6,563

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