32

I think that there are some people you should be comfortable with, comfortable enough to pass gas in their general vicinity and not have to apologize. And the closest family should certainly be such people. At home, when I'm not alone, I try to do it in the toilet, though I don't feel bad or ashamed to let one go when my wife or LO is near. Seriously, ...


14

As you note, first birthday is basically a party for you, not for her, except that she's the reason for the party. I would say that means invite whomever you want. However, you probably should tend towards inviting people who have shown an interest in your daughter. Friends who have not shown an interest in her - at least, acknowledging her when they come ...


14

This reminds me of such a fun to-do kids' activity at our house. :) About every other month, we would have a "restaurant" lunch at home. I named the restaurant "Susie-Q's", printed up menus on my printer (with ridiculously low prices) that the kids could read (or have help reading). They could choose anything and everything they wanted from it. I play-...


12

I encourage my kids to excuse themselves when they pass gas. (Obviously the best-case scenario is that they are able to release it in the bathroom instead, but things happen.) I have a few goals with this: acknowledging that there's going to be a brief bad smell in the room, accepting responsibility for it, and begging pardon for inflicting it on the other ...


12

She should try to leave the room or the crowd if you're trying to avoid impropriety. A toilet is unnecessary when simply away from prying olfactory senses would do. Now to the meat of the issue: Stating that it is wrong or bad for a child, teen, or adult to pass gas is the same as stating it is wrong for them to sneeze or cough in public. If society as a ...


11

Just tell her simply: We have planned to have a small party with my daughter's close friends, and so we did not invite the whole class. Where to take it from there is up to you. If this girl and your daughter truly don't play together, the other mother should be reasonable enough to understand that her daughter is not a close friend. There may also be a ...


9

Miss Manners agrees with your wife: "unacceptable noises" (her term) should be "acknowledged by neither the noisemaker nor the noise recipient".


8

Mazel tov :) A bat mitzvah is the same as any party: she invites those people who she wants to share in her celebration and achievement. I'd encourage your daughter to consider inviting them. Being forgiving shows a level of maturity, and it's an important lesson of adulthood that sometimes you have to put up with inconsiderate, entitled people. But don't ...


7

In my opinion, by twelve it should be up to the children to work this out, and the parents should not involve themselves directly - they should help their children navigate these things if they need advice maybe, but not forcing their opinions. At six I would say it was probably inappropriate to not invite both, but not at twelve. That said, you don’t ...


6

I'm not sure if this is a cultural/traditional thing but most of the parents I know tell children to open their gifts later (after their friends have left) precisely because of this reason. Young kids can be quite frank and it's not really nice to scold them on their b'day in front of their friends so it's better to open the gifts later when you are alone ...


6

It really depends on the parent, and her relationship with her kid's friends. I don't have a teenager, yet, but I worked for 6 years as a middle and high school music instructor, and have had students add me over the course of those years (I had created an alternate account for this, to provide separation from my "professional" life activity and personal ...


6

While I personally only friend teens who I'm relatively close to (or would like to be closer), like my nieces and nephews, and would not encourage a teen to accept a stranger's friend request, I don't see a problem with accepting an adult acquaintance's friend request. I think our society has suffered somewhat by keeping children mostly segregated in their ...


5

I agree with the wife. Even though, Farting is very common, sadly our society does show hypocrisy in accepting it resulting in embarrasement. So the best method is to fart in toilet, but if by chance a person farts in public, unless asked why should he holler in front of everyone " Excuse Me, In case you are wondering, I just wanted to let all of you know ...


5

Proper etiquette depends on a lot of factors - from country to this family's specific expectations. So it's really not easy to answer this part. However, it is safe to just ask your friend. You can explain that you have never been to a first birthday and you are unsure whether gifts are "done" at such an occasion, or can just ask what gift you should bring....


5

It is certainly a possibility, and something that I would do myself in this situation. Be prepared for the camp to say no, of course; they may well simply not want to bother. But, if you have a good relationship with them and they're an understanding group, they may be willing to help you. I would prepare a note - either an email, if other business was ...


4

I don't have kids, and don't ever plan to. Depending on the activity, I might shudder as I RSVP "no". I would, however, be thrilled to be invited. It's tough for those of us who don't wish to have babies to stay connected to our friends who took the other path. If you'd like us to come... I'd recommend the party with both bar and playground mentioned in ...


4

To provide a specific answer to your question: no, there is not an established rule of etiquette for the situation you cite. The goal of etiquette, especially when throwing a party, is to put your guests at ease and allow them to have a good time. In this case, there are a few factors to consider with this specific guest: Your relationship with the family. ...


4

I am working through something similar with my daughter, and unfortunately there is no easy answer. I recommend explaining to her that her action hurt the other child's feelings and ask her how she would feel if that happened to her. Then you'll have to repeat the same lesson with patience again many times. After a while it will sink in, but it will take ...


4

Well, I have the same problem with my 5yo (almost 6yo). She is a very extrovert girl, she talks with everybody and makes friends very easily. In that types of situation, we say to her that the people are busy or working, so she can't monopolize their time. At 5, they can understand concepts such "busy" and "work". Obviously, you have to say it very kindly: "...


3

For my son's first birthday party, we invited quite a few friends, including some without children. We asked them not to bring gifts as our son already got plenty of things from us, our family and close friends. Several people gave us a gift instead which wasn't necessary but we found it a nice gesture. You could do that. Something like a nice bottle of ...


3

Only if you want to. Both the parents and the child will know the gift has been given. The only difference between giving it before and during the party is who knows. If in your area of the planet everyone knowing is important, then make it known; otherwise, it is already known by those who matter, so party on!


2

Sorry to write that, but I think your wife is right. You have no right (it's impolite on your part) to demand that your daughter talk about her own flatulence (even indirectly through an excuse). There could be shame associated with that talking, especially with females. And then, your daughter could associate you with that feeling of shame. And another ...


2

We recently arranged our son's first birthday party and we decided we wanted to invite friends with and without children. Because of this we chose a style of party that would suit everyone we wanted to invite. As well as other babies, we invited friends with older children and friends without children. We chose a venue with a bar and plenty of space for ...


2

We've always opened ours up. We've found that those who are invited to special occasions like that, whether they have kids or want to have kids or not are more interested and more proactively involved in the child's life as they grow up. We think it's important that our kids have adults that can speak into their lives since there's probably going to be a ...


2

Personally I think that she'll only have one bar mitzvah. She should invite those who are special to her. If people are asking her if they are invited she can then be honest and say "It's a really special thing to me and so I need people there who I'm close to." Regardless, it's about giving her the tools to achieve what she wants on this special day. ...


2

Joe's answer says pretty much it all, but still I'd like to add a note you may find useful: From the starting point that these conflicts should be let to the children to solve (not just because they are probably already capable of, but because they also need to learn how to do it), I'd say that it's better to screw up at 12 than at 30! Let your daughter be ...


1

I would suggest that your wife and yourself schedule a vacation and plan out the itinerary, make it something that you guys absolutely want to do and then invite the grandparents after all the plans are made. Send them a message that says something like, "We are planning on going to Orlando, FL from 01-Aug to 06-Aug and we will be staying at the Holiday ...


1

My earliest memory is from my 1-year-old birthday party, reinforced by photos. Don't underestimate! 1-year-olds are not usually developmentally very ready to play with each other—if you invite other 1-year-olds they will need constant supervision, because there is almost no difference between playing and fighting at that age. But they enjoy parties, special ...


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