16

There are online 'parents of encopresis' support groups. A quick googling came up with several. Interacting with other parents in this situation may help you, and might give you ideas on what to ask your child's doctors. When encopresis is this entrenched, you need a multidisciplinary specialist approach: if she has never been hospitalized, she should be, ...


14

You have my sympathy. Having one child with encopresis is awful. I can't really imagine accurately what it's like to have two children with this problem. Parents of children with idiopathic constipation often blame themselves and their toilet training problems (which were often present). First a quick reassurance: a rectal examination finding stool in the ...


10

My son had this same problem. In fact, just tonight, he had a "skid mark" in his undies because he held his poo and it leaked out. It was his last day of school, so, like your son, he was too busy to hear nature calling. Btw- my boy is going to be ten in the fall! Way too old for this, IMO, but, it is leaps and bounds better than it was when he was 4-6 years ...


7

Recently the same thing was happening with my nephew and I tried the same things. Until I happened upon an answer on this site someone had posted. I'm kicking myself for not saving it but they suggested after every meal spending a small amount of time in the bathroom 10-15 minutes at a time and I combined that with another suggestion to add a stool (squatty ...


7

I have a six year old in the same situation. He's a control freak. He's oppositional defiant. He doesn't want to stop what he's doing to go poop in the potty and generally holds it. His overall goal is to prove me and the rest of the world wrong... he is convinced that he will do things his way and will be right about not having to poop on the potty. We have ...


6

My daughter has the same problem. She's four and didn't potty train until this year. I highly recommend Dr. Sears Baby Book for this kind of stuff. Love him or hate him on co-sleeping etc. on basic behavior stuff he has some great advice. We tried some of the things in the book. Here's what's working for us. Breathe! Forget that they're 'too old' for this, ...


6

A few ideas/suggestions/questions: Have you spoken to a pediatrician about a physical issue? Does he watch you poop and then help you flush? He may be afraid, many children are, of allowing 'part of him' to be flushed away. Flush his poop down the toilet even from his diaper/underpants. Does he make any sign he is making? React to it FAST! Does he poop at ...


6

Toilet timing? Would that help? You send him to the toilet at regular times when you think he has to do a poo. I can recognize when my daughter has to, for instance, but I can't see on my other kids, so maybe you wouldn't recognize the signs neither. In that case, maybe first during a week or so you would have to write on a paper the times when your boy ...


5

One possible reason for such behaviour that wasn't mentioned here yet is that he might be enjoying this, while pooping in toilet might be "boring" to him. He is probably well aware that he shouldn't be doing it and that it's "a bad thing" so that's why he keep silent when you ask him why he's doing this. I would go and ask him "Do you enjoy doing this?" ...


5

My son has had the same issue since he was born basically. He never really used to the toilet as his large bowel movements were very painful. He is now 10 years old and is going into 5th grade. I can finally say that I can see progress now. We seen tons of doctors, specialists and a lot of trips to the ER and urgent care because he had not had a bowl ...


4

Not sure where you are but have you escalated this up to the school's governing body? Gotten his physician involved? And if nothing else works, can you get the local media involved to shame the school into doing the right thing? "Local school refuses to help adorable kindergartner with illness" can be the headline that most schools will do anything to ...


4

Have you considered looking into seeing a gastroenterologist? Back before I was diagnosed with Chron's/UC there would be times that I would just be unable to control my bladder. I was able to tell when it was going to happen but there were instances where I wouldn't be able to hold it (even if the bathroom was 20 feet away).


4

I have no personal experience with this, but this article seems to have a lot of great information: http://www.aafp.org/afp/2006/0201/p469.html A few things I noticed: the article recommends changing diet to include little or no dairy (specifically from cow's milk), and to include lots of high-fiber foods - not fiber supplements. Which isn't to say ...


4

This is a well-known condition that affects a certain (small) percentage of children. It is called encopresis. The cause can be a variety of factors. But basically they boil down to four main types of causes as follows: Physiological -- "Holding" can create a blockage in the intestines due to dried / encrusted waste not moving properly through the tube. ...


3

Have you spoken to more than one doctor or just the one? Sometimes if you go to a second doctor they might have another idea as to what might be wrong. If a second doctor doesn't find anything medically wrong I'd consider taking her to a therapist - laziness isn't any kind of diagnosis, and pooping in her pants and not being bothered seems to me like ...


3

I really believe that puishment for this is the wrong way to go, it will only make things worse. Even though it seems like he does not care, he propaply feels ashamed of it. My daughter pretty much had the same problem. She peed in her pants pretty much every day. It seemed like she didn't care, and that she would rather keep on playing than waste the time ...


3

I would have no idea how to approach this with a 12-year-old, but we recently had a similar situation with a 6-year-old niece who stayed with us for an extended period of time while her mother and father battled out some custody and other issues. It is an extremely difficult situation to approach, and all I can offer is moral support and an explanation of ...


3

I taught autistic students for 30+ years, and I hesitate to give you advice. These kids are so individual that there is no 'one size fits all' solution. We found that not only was there discomfort associated with actual defecation, but things like the toilet itself could be a problem. (Too high, too cold, too noisy -- the room 'echoed', at school -- ...


3

I understand your frustration, try and be patient about it as best you can. It's easy to get in a cycle of punishments and recriminations, and it's counter-productive. It's easier said than done, and I'm well aware of that because I've been there. First, take him to the doctor to make sure there's no physical problems, and to give you some peace of mind. ...


3

Some of the suggestions here are great ideas for a new trainee. However, this questioner is asking about a five year old and has been at it for a few years now. Take heart! Take a breath and realize it is unlikely your child is being purposefully difficult at this age and stage of the game. This answer is pointing out the possibility of encopresis, one of a ...


3

I was like "what the heck could be going on!?" Until you said "autism".... Even if it's mild, this could be one of his antics, rituals etc... as odd as it may sound. I would have said make him do all the cleaning up of the mess etc. but I bet that would be hard with him. Rewarding like you are doing is a good idea. I've been working with Aspergers and ...


2

The best way to get a toddler toilet trained is to encourage. Allow him in the room while you go. Another good way is sticker charts, get him to sit on the loo with clothes on and make a big fuss of it and work down to no clothes. Each time make a fuss and give him a sticker. Then get him to actually try and poo. Make a big fuss of it. He will like to please ...


2

With those few of my children who continued to poop in their pants rather than the toilet well after learning and generally choosing to urinate in the toilet, we eventually told them something similar to, "You are capable of recognizing when you need to use the restroom, and taking care of yourself in there. We would like you to choose to keep yourself and ...


2

I think the second to last sentence in your second paragraph is the key point here: She's gained lots of anxiety about how people look at her, cause of how much she has to stay from school. While you say you have tried psychotherapy, I'm curious as to whether you've just tried one and stopped, or looked around for a therapist who can truly help your ...


2

I'm 29 now. When I was 7, I used to pee and poop my pants. Not because I didn't realize or I was too busy playing, but it felt really good to hold it. Idk why to this day, but I can remember holding it simply bc it felt good. And when my body won, I would pee and poop wherever I was. My mom gave me laxatives, and then when that didnt work, suppositories. I ...


1

One of the causes of constipation is Withholding of stool as a result of past discomfort (1) and what you further describe sounds like the constipation then leads to soiling ("when he can't hold it anymore"). It seems that he may also fulfill one of the two Rome III criteria for children of four years or older: History of retentive posturing or ...


1

My family is going through a lot of the same issues you are. Our 7 yr old son has a bowel obstruction that has made it impossible for him to know when he has to poo, so he goes through a dozen diapers a day due to leakage and his lack of motor skills keep him from cleaning himself properly. Lets start with the Autism, the school system only cares about ...


1

My son does this when he is busy doing something else and does not want to stop what ever he is enjoying to go to the bathroom. Like, watching a movie, playing a game, or outside playing. He does not do it at school or at one of his grandma's house. She makes him clean his pants in the toliet and clean himself up! So, I know he can control it! I have ...


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