132

I would be concerned that this form of punishment might end up teaching the wrong associations, because it artificially connects money to behavior which is not naturally about money. For example, I would be concerned that the children end up believing: the wrong behavior is ok if they are willing to pay the fine two bad behaviors that happen to be fined ...


100

From everything that I can find online, it is a positive thing to show affection in front of your kids. It models affection to your children, and it makes them feel more secure https://www.whattoexpect.com/news/first-year/how-much-pda-okay-front-baby-kids/ My own experience agrees with what I have read. I don't think I ever even saw my father and mother ...


40

I seriously doubt that anyone would prosecute you for "fining" your children, regardless of the amount (excluding in the thousands.) So it's not the law you need to be concerned about. Having said that, you asked for feedback. To me, your method of disciplining your children is unjust, and it doesn't make sense. I don't see their reactions, but I can't ...


39

If anything I believe it would be positive, although I don't know of any studies on the subject. Children learn how to be adults from the adults around them, so seeing what real romantic relationships are like can only be a good thing. Two caveats: What happens if they copy you while playing house? That should give you a clear idea of where to draw the ...


29

As Toxaris mentioned, the biggest problem with this is that most people will not consider it "punishment for misbehaving" but rather "cost for doing it". There will be a moment where your child says "hm, $10 to punch my brother in the face? That sounds like a great deal.". Probably not what you're going for. I've actually encountered the adult equivalent ...


16

There is nothing wrong with his mind. The first time I fell in love was before my 4th birthday. I would fall in love all the time, both with girls I hadn't previously known and with girls I had known for some time. There is nothing wrong with him telling you about this experience, either. On the contrary. The only thing that slightly bothers me is the ...


11

I would start out by handling primary-schooler tantrums the same way as toddler tantrums -- basically, don't let his tantrums succeed. Immediate and natural consequence. Deny him whatever it was he threw the tantrum over, end your current activity, abort your planned activity, or whatever else is appropriate. Don't give in, ever. A tantrum never wins. He ...


10

Legally, a child's money is usually a child's money. There is of course the obvious loophole that allows you to spend the money on behalf of the child, and the fact that law enforcement doesn't bother with such small amounts of money. So practically, there isn't a legal problem, but it may still be counted against you in a battle for custody. Ethically, ...


9

Assuming you're in the United States, the major legal repercussion would only be if your children had accounts under the Uniform Gift to Minors Act (or UTMA, Uniform Transfer to Minors Act which is similar). That would include money that they were gifted from others (usually grandparents or similar), which you as parent have a legal obligation to spend on ...


8

This is a tricky question to answer. In my opinion, I think the comment is a bit exaggerated because a child would generally be able to differentiate between a computer and a person and know that it only applies to computers. However I would not turn off the computer screen while they are playing, as they could be in the midst of playing and turning the ...


8

I don't think anyone has covered this. You method is telling them what not to do, but not why they shouldn't do them. This will not end well for them as they will do whatever they want once they are free. You can only punish them like this when you can control their money. Once they are financially independent from you, there's nothing you can do to punish ...


7

Is there a reason you cannot combine the two approaches? It sounds like your ultimate goal is to raise a happy, well-adjusted child who can interact with many different people in different situations (to which I say YAY). In this case, especially considering you're dealing with a 2-year-old, I'd suggest trying to bridge the gap between your two scenarios. ...


7

I think your daughter is simply working incomplete information -- she has analytical ability beyond her age, but the insufficient information to base her analysis on. Ask her questions -- a lot. "Why do people need to pick a career", "How long does it take to learn". This will help you understand where the knowledge gaps are so you can fill them in. Use ...


7

My question here is that in such situations should I: pretend to be deaf and blind and let the toddler learn the lesson that everyone may not be friendly towards her even if she is towards them? or jump in the situation to heal the toddler's hurt feelings? In this particular situation, you encouraged your child to say hello to the boy and ...


7

Dr. David's 4 steps: Feel it. Don't try to push away your child's negative emotions, but validate them. Show It. Directed against rules about hiding some emotions, like "Boys don't cry." Label It. Enable children to name or otherwise identify emotions (the older they get, the more you can talk about it.) Watch It Go. Teaching them that emotions ...


6

You could try connecting with him. Often, parenting isn't about seeking obedience, it is about building connection. Children will follow leaders they trust and respect, and feel trusted and respected by. Just like the rest of us. And, yes, you are right, not all children are the same. He is an individual with his own triggers, sensitivities, etc, as well as ...


6

Your boy is perfectly normal and reminds me of myself at his age. I constantly was "falling in love" but looking back, I was attracted to or enjoyed being around that person. I can also see now that I look back that I was looking up to my own parents and siblings relationships. Wanting to be like them and have what they have. I also, can see TV being an ...


6

Cheating your children into discipline is a very very bad idea, regardless which technique was used or how clever it might sound. One day this will backfire because your children will follow the example you are setting and will start cheating YOU! It will definitely increase distrust between you and your children and eventually destroy your relationship ...


6

I have to share this story. I had my six year old niece over for an afternoon, and I decided to show her Bambi, which she had never seen. At one point, I went into the kitchen to fetch a snack, and when I came back out Bambi and the old stag were having their "you must be brave and learn to live by yourself" conversation. My niece looked up at me and ...


6

Emotional neglect is the least studied of form of child maltreatment, yet it is probably the most prevalent. The way kids internalize these experiences is often characterized by anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression later in life. Awareness and honesty is the first step in changing things for you. For that, I congratulate you. Ideally, parents should be ...


6

The current answers address fairly well why monetary punishments are not a great idea as your primary source of discipline,. I'd like to go a bit further though, and say that punishments, regardless of what form they take, should not be your primary source of discipline. Your goal in parenting, generally speaking, is to raise adults who are competent in ...


6

The other answers give great points of view, I just want to add an important fact: Kids will see a lot of adult behavior in media and around them Kids will be exposed to a lot of input on behavior. The most important one will usually be of their parents. But they will also sometimes see things on TV, the internet, talk with other children or just see ...


6

TL;DR: Talk to your child often about their feelings and give them a rich emotional vocabulary/lexicon. Four years of age is a good time to start teaching a child to learn to handle their emotions themselves in socially appropriate ways. As you so poignantly pointed out, many people don't do this. In fact, the majority of adults often don't manage their ...


5

The basic structure of SDG*Chart of Emotions has been used in Finland teaching emotions for pupils on the fourth grade aging about 10 years. It is compiled out of 8 emotion scales and has 25 basic emotions. The larger chart consists of 121 emotions and could be useful for the parents too. There are also practical emotional expressions below each emotion. ...


5

My son does exactly the same thing. He's 8 now, but at 5-6 did the same as yours. I don't think there's anything wrong with this inherently, but I did have some concerns, so I did a few things. I gave him limits: some cards were somewhat valuable, so I asked him not to give these away. I defined this very carefully (they are put in a binder), so he ...


5

Wikipedia lists the causes of attention-seeking in adults. Excessive parental attention in childhood is not one of them. If anything, I would expect lack of attention to be a cause, as the child becomes desperate for attention and learns that the only way to get attention is to demand it. However this is a complicated issue. It also implies that the way you ...


4

Awww. This is so sweet. There is nothing to get worried about, they are just kids. My son was in love for the first time at age 4 in Pre-K. He came home one day and told me, "mom I like 2 girls, can I have 2 girlfriends?" I say no, you must choose one. But of course I worry a little bit, I thought about myself, and then asked my husband if he felt in love ...


4

I think your little boy is OK! :) but I don't want to call this feeling "love". Probably, your boy thinks that those little girls are pretty, kind and he is attracted by them. He is little and little children are always interested to world around them and to people different from them. Our society is full of false "love". Our society countinuously tells ...


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