Hot answers tagged

60

Just be truthful. While the details about chemical addiction may fly over a 6 year old's head, the general idea is really not that hard to understand. Tell them that drugs are chemicals that can make people feel really good, but that may be very unhealthy. Fundamentally, it's like candy and sweets, but far more dangerous (the consequences are more than ...


46

My general approach is that it's not a good idea to hide the world from your children. Of course I wouldn't go into the gruesome details of drug addiction, but my view is that when I explain this to my kids, then it is me who is in control of the narrative. In these cases I try to not "explain" the matter to my children, but to engage them in a conversation....


45

These things you list are a part of our lives, either because we use/do them or other people we know or see use/do. Discovering things through friends is rarely a good idea. That's how myths are spread, "you can't get pregnant the first time", "masturbation will make you impotent", ... "drugs are good". You should give your children the important ...


30

One thing nobody else has picked up on: If you ignore the drug thing for a moment, you were going through her stuff, when she clearly wasn't expecting you to. The best way to open the conversation might be to apologise for that. Otherwise, in effect what you'll be saying is "I was going through your stuff and found this, now I've confiscated it, and need to ...


24

There isn't much you can do to force a change in their relationship. You can establish curfews, household rules, and so on, but unless you plan to watch her every minute of every day, she'll find a way to break a rule that you put in place. While she is certainly not an adult yet, your daughter's old enough to make some decisions on her own. The best way ...


21

Who do you think will be more likely to provide answers in a way that you would want your children to learn about drugs and sex, you as the children's parents or their peers (whose parent's might also evade the subject)? I don't know about you, but I trust my judgment on and knowledge about these subjects more than those of other children. Of course, given ...


20

If he brings in studies, you can always do the same... but they should be balanced ones, that nevertheless support your point: that yes, compared to most legal drugs, it may be harmless: in moderation and for an adult! An added benefit would be that you can teach him how to actually read and evaluate studies. Make him aware of interaction between drugs as ...


20

Sounds to me, like you and your daughter had a very healthy and honest conversation - and trust me when I say, those are the kind that work. I worked with adolescents for ten years as a health and science teacher as well as was advisor to a class of about 20 eighth grade kids each year. Considering the fact that I had around 100 kids each year I taught, ...


15

What do I do? Number 1. Don't blow it up. This will be hard to read for some, especially for some parents on the stricter side, but it's true. It's not that big of a deal. Of all the things your 16-year-old son could have gone to as a vice, he chose the safer alternative to actual cigarette smoking. Yes, he shouldn't be doing it because he is underage but ...


13

I'm seeing a lot of hysterical overreaction here. Ecstasy, used occasionally and in small quantities, is not a high-risk drug: something goes wrong about 1 out of 10,000 times, compared with 1 in 350 for horse riding. The UK's Academy of Medical Sciences ranks it at 18 out of 20 in dangerousness, way below alcohol (5) and tobacco (9). In short, the short-...


12

What are the best ways to get a kid to put drugs in their past and move on? You're doing it now, pretty much. You can't change your child's thinking any more than he can change yours. But you can exert the control you have over his behavior by limiting your support of him financially. This is perfectly legit, unless mental illness is involved. As you ...


12

First off, congrats :) Go to the doctor and be honest! My wife and I did the same thing during her first pregnancy. Our daughter, now 5, is as bright and cheery and happy and healthy as any other kid in her class. Additional stress isn't good for either your or your baby. So calm down first. Only then can you make rational adult decisions. Just make ...


11

How you should react will depend on what your child has gotten into and how they are currently acting. First, lets clarify what each option will get you. Poison Control (U.S.: 1-800-222-1222) See This URL for information about who you will be talking to (medical experts in toxicology), what information they will ask you, etc. The Poison Control Center ...


11

Quit freaking out. That's the first thing to do. People get pregnant, they have kids. This is normal. It may not be normal for you, but, it is, in general, a fact of life. So, you can do it. The challenge is to be the best mother you can be, and that means starting now to make choices that are good choices for both you, and the baby. Once you start making ...


10

Most of the other advice in this topic is excellent but a small item to add: This shouldn't need to be said but there seem to be a lot of parents in this world who prefer to try to control their children through lies. If you lie about sex, drugs and alcohol once they catch you in one lie they won't trust your other advice on the matter.


9

Is there a nice way to tell them? I'm not quite sure I know what you mean by "a nice way". If you mean, a way that they won't be upset or won't cause a scene, you might try taking them out to dinner at a very nice restaurant and breaking the news to them there after a couple glasses of fine wine. That will probably force them to keep their voices down. If ...


9

she thinks that he is cool because he makes a lot of money off it Most likely, he's spinning yarns about the money in drug dealing and she's falling for it because she watches too much TV. Studies indicate that low-level drug dealers make $20k-$30k per year. While that's a lot for a 17-year-old, it is not very much money at all by adult standards; pretty ...


9

Be honest - you're concerned & have a reason to be. If we ignore it and act like everything is ok, how are teens going to get the message of where to draw the line? She may be mad, but you obviously just happened to have seen the stuff by accident and are honestly worried about her. Let her know why you are worried and how much she means to you. ...


9

This is not going to be a complete answer, because you have not given much detail (what you've tried, how he gets the substances, how he's gotten around it and why, etc.) I'll modify the answer when additional information becomes available. I'll assume it's as bad as you say, and you've tried grounding, taking away privileges, etc., and nothing has worked. ...


8

During the first two weeks of pregnancy there is very little exchange of substances between the mother and the embryo. And the pregnancy, by definition, actually starts at the moment the woman supposed to have her period. So one may say that the first three weeks are actually quite safe in regards to drinking or other substances use or abuse. After that, ...


7

Your child is an adult, and as somebody else said, it's almost certainly too late to significantly change their view of drugs. I would recommend side-stepping the issue, and just declaring that your continued support of his college expenses is dependent on his hitting academic milestones (i.e., challenging classes, good grades, progress toward a diploma). ...


7

There is very little you can do. Until someone accepts they have mental health challenges that need to be addressed you can't force them into treatment. As a parent this can be devastating to watch. Having a serious mental illness myself I have a simple rule, if you want to be in my life and have mental health issues then you have to be active in your ...


6

According to the US Dept. of Health and Human Services Poison Help website and the Mayo Clinic, you should first call Poison Control, unless the victim is unconscious, having trouble breathing, having seizures, or is "uncontrollably restless or agitated" (I assume this is meant to be a proxy for high adrenaline levels, and not meant to imply simply stressed ...


6

Florida screens for all 31 disorders recommended by the United States Department of Health and Human Services Recommended Uniform Screening Panel and an additional 22 secondary disorders, unless a parent objects in writing. Before leaving the hospital, a few drops of blood are taken from the heel of the baby and the ears are also tested for hearing. ...


6

The answer to getting someone off of drugs or to focus attention elsewhere isn't to tell them not to do them because they are bad. Most people who use, know the downside they cause. Very often, they choose to ignore the facts our of ignorance or care. If you want someone to stop using, the best thing you can do is help them find what they are passionate ...


6

I think you have to be 100% honest. Talking it out during therapy is a good idea. Set rules and follow them. There are set consequences for breaking the rules. Perhaps the therapist can help you decide on appropriate rules/goals and consequences. If Dad is in the loop, please make him a part of it. No one (including parents) can back down or change the ...


6

I would go to your sister and say, "I am uncomfortable with you smoking marijuana, because I know our parents don't want you to be doing it. I don't want to rat you out, but you're putting me in a bad situation by smoking in front of me. I feel like it's my responsibility to tell them if I know you're doing this, but I also want you to be able to trust me. ...


6

Here's an article from last year: https://www.forbes.com/sites/tarahaelle/2016/09/09/so-does-marijuana-use-in-pregnancy-hurt-a-baby-or-not/?c=0&s=trending#2e9bf5101365 It basically says we don't have enough info to say conclusively whether marijuana negatively affects a gestating fetus. But, you can be pretty sure that the small amount you have had ...


6

At 16 she is only a year or two away from being legally an adult. So I think you are going to need to accept that you cannot control her behaviour in the way that you used to when she was 12. Also vaping is not something you can practically control anyway; the equipment needed is small and easily hidden, so unless you are going to conduct regular rummage ...


6

I'm going to basically repeat an answer that I gave in response to this unrelated question: Answer your child's questions accurately and truthfully, using language they can understand. Most of all, let your child guide the conversation. Child: I thought those were used by doctors. You: They are. But sometimes people who aren't doctors give themselves shots. ...


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