Hot answers tagged

59

Just be truthful. While the details about chemical addiction may fly over a 6 year old's head, the general idea is really not that hard to understand. Tell them that drugs are chemicals that can make people feel really good, but that may be very unhealthy. Fundamentally, it's like candy and sweets, but far more dangerous (the consequences are more than ...


47

My general approach is that it's not a good idea to hide the world from your children. Of course I wouldn't go into the gruesome details of drug addiction, but my view is that when I explain this to my kids, then it is me who is in control of the narrative. In these cases I try to not "explain" the matter to my children, but to engage them in a conversation....


45

These things you list are a part of our lives, either because we use/do them or other people we know or see use/do. Discovering things through friends is rarely a good idea. That's how myths are spread, "you can't get pregnant the first time", "masturbation will make you impotent", ... "drugs are good". You should give your children the important ...


37

You don't have nearly enough evidence to accuse him. You're also beyond the point where you can forbid him from doing something. You need to persuade him, and performing a search won't help with that. Badmouthing his friends is also likely to backfire. His selection of friends is highly personal and the largest part of his identity right now. It would ...


33

This is an iffy situation, especially if you have a good relationship with your sister. On one hand, you don't want her to be mad at you and on the other, you want her to be safe and you want to protect her. First of all, not doing anything is wrong. It would be turning a blind eye to a potentially dangerous situation. If something did happen to her in the ...


30

One thing nobody else has picked up on: If you ignore the drug thing for a moment, you were going through her stuff, when she clearly wasn't expecting you to. The best way to open the conversation might be to apologise for that. Otherwise, in effect what you'll be saying is "I was going through your stuff and found this, now I've confiscated it, and need to ...


24

There isn't much you can do to force a change in their relationship. You can establish curfews, household rules, and so on, but unless you plan to watch her every minute of every day, she'll find a way to break a rule that you put in place. While she is certainly not an adult yet, your daughter's old enough to make some decisions on her own. The best way ...


21

Who do you think will be more likely to provide answers in a way that you would want your children to learn about drugs and sex, you as the children's parents or their peers (whose parent's might also evade the subject)? I don't know about you, but I trust my judgment on and knowledge about these subjects more than those of other children. Of course, given ...


21

If he brings in studies, you can always do the same... but they should be balanced ones, that nevertheless support your point: that yes, compared to most legal drugs, it may be harmless: in moderation and for an adult! An added benefit would be that you can teach him how to actually read and evaluate studies. Make him aware of interaction between drugs as ...


20

Sounds to me, like you and your daughter had a very healthy and honest conversation - and trust me when I say, those are the kind that work. I worked with adolescents for ten years as a health and science teacher as well as was advisor to a class of about 20 eighth grade kids each year. Considering the fact that I had around 100 kids each year I taught, ...


20

Ransacking his room and invading his personal space may come back to haunt you, especially if he is hiding something. TRUST me, he will notice if you've searched his room and that may cause him to distance himself even further from you. I would just casually confront him about it via discussing something you "saw on the news" recently relating to drug-use ...


15

What do I do? Number 1. Don't blow it up. This will be hard to read for some, especially for some parents on the stricter side, but it's true. It's not that big of a deal. Of all the things your 16-year-old son could have gone to as a vice, he chose the safer alternative to actual cigarette smoking. Yes, he shouldn't be doing it because he is underage but ...


13

I'm seeing a lot of hysterical overreaction here. Ecstasy, used occasionally and in small quantities, is not a high-risk drug: something goes wrong about 1 out of 10,000 times, compared with 1 in 350 for horse riding. The UK's Academy of Medical Sciences ranks it at 18 out of 20 in dangerousness, way below alcohol (5) and tobacco (9). In short, the short-...


12

What you describe sounds a lot like me when I was a teenager about a decade ago. Long story short, I've never done drugs. I had a terrible sleep schedule, and I still do. It wasn't so much that I was doing anything important or bad as it was that I was on MSN talking to friends (some of whom lived in Japan), or playing Starcraft. As a result I'd often take ...


12

First off, congrats :) Go to the doctor and be honest! My wife and I did the same thing during her first pregnancy. Our daughter, now 5, is as bright and cheery and happy and healthy as any other kid in her class. Additional stress isn't good for either your or your baby. So calm down first. Only then can you make rational adult decisions. Just make ...


12

What are the best ways to get a kid to put drugs in their past and move on? You're doing it now, pretty much. You can't change your child's thinking any more than he can change yours. But you can exert the control you have over his behavior by limiting your support of him financially. This is perfectly legit, unless mental illness is involved. As you ...


11

How you should react will depend on what your child has gotten into and how they are currently acting. First, lets clarify what each option will get you. Poison Control (U.S.: 1-800-222-1222) See This URL for information about who you will be talking to (medical experts in toxicology), what information they will ask you, etc. The Poison Control Center ...


11

Quit freaking out. That's the first thing to do. People get pregnant, they have kids. This is normal. It may not be normal for you, but, it is, in general, a fact of life. So, you can do it. The challenge is to be the best mother you can be, and that means starting now to make choices that are good choices for both you, and the baby. Once you start making ...


10

Most of the other advice in this topic is excellent but a small item to add: This shouldn't need to be said but there seem to be a lot of parents in this world who prefer to try to control their children through lies. If you lie about sex, drugs and alcohol once they catch you in one lie they won't trust your other advice on the matter.


9

It's a complicated issue that doesn't have an easy answer. Arguments for involving parents include protecting her from becoming an addict; substance abuse could ruin her life. Arguments against involving parents include the consequences (particularly legal, if your parents would involve law enforcement). Despite the stigma, there are worse things she could ...


9

Be honest - you're concerned & have a reason to be. If we ignore it and act like everything is ok, how are teens going to get the message of where to draw the line? She may be mad, but you obviously just happened to have seen the stuff by accident and are honestly worried about her. Let her know why you are worried and how much she means to you. ...


9

she thinks that he is cool because he makes a lot of money off it Most likely, he's spinning yarns about the money in drug dealing and she's falling for it because she watches too much TV. Studies indicate that low-level drug dealers make $20k-$30k per year. While that's a lot for a 17-year-old, it is not very much money at all by adult standards; pretty ...


9

Is there a nice way to tell them? I'm not quite sure I know what you mean by "a nice way". If you mean, a way that they won't be upset or won't cause a scene, you might try taking them out to dinner at a very nice restaurant and breaking the news to them there after a couple glasses of fine wine. That will probably force them to keep their voices down. If ...


9

This is not going to be a complete answer, because you have not given much detail (what you've tried, how he gets the substances, how he's gotten around it and why, etc.) I'll modify the answer when additional information becomes available. I'll assume it's as bad as you say, and you've tried grounding, taking away privileges, etc., and nothing has worked. ...


8

I would talk to a professional first. I was friends with a drug addict for a while, and in my experience they can be masters at deflection. For example, if you confront your sister, my guess is that she'd say she's keeping the pills for someone else. A professional could tell you what to expect from the confrontation, and give you some pointers on what to do ...


8

During the first two weeks of pregnancy there is very little exchange of substances between the mother and the embryo. And the pregnancy, by definition, actually starts at the moment the woman supposed to have her period. So one may say that the first three weeks are actually quite safe in regards to drinking or other substances use or abuse. After that, ...


8

According to http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/AA67/AA67.htm about 15% of 8th graders binge drink on a regular basis so 9 years is probably not a good age to start. Whether you like it or not, your child will be exposed to alcohol first probably in middle school Besides the age, you need to be also clear about what exactly you want to teach to him. The ...


7

The National Institute on Drug Abuse has the following information about marijuana and the brain: Marijuana use impairs a person's ability to form new memories and to shift focus. THC also disrupts coordination and balance by binding to receptors in the cerebellum and the basal ganglia. According to the website, the jury is still out as to exactly how ...


7

Lots of good answers already but I think there are still some important things to point out. This is one of the hardest challenges for a parent. What type of drugs are we talking about? There are three groups of illegal drugs that are worth differentiating: A) Alcohol, B) Weed, Hashish & Marijuana, C) prescription drugs and hard drugs. All three of ...


7

Your child is an adult, and as somebody else said, it's almost certainly too late to significantly change their view of drugs. I would recommend side-stepping the issue, and just declaring that your continued support of his college expenses is dependent on his hitting academic milestones (i.e., challenging classes, good grades, progress toward a diploma). ...


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