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151 votes
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Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old and her mother moving in with a man I've never met?

I suggest you invite the guy out for a beer to get to know him. Make it clear that you are not jealous, that you wish them well, and that the only thing you care about his how he treats your daughter ...
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98 votes
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How can I prevent my parents' divorce?

I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do. And, whether it helps or not, there was nothing you could have done. This is not your fault. Also, don't be angry ...
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63 votes

I don't want to be a father

When we are confronted with a situation in our lives where what we believe doesn't match up to how we're living, we have two choices: Change our beliefs or change our actions. I think I know that ...
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  • 625
55 votes

I don't want to be a father

I'm going to focus on this one thing that you said, because it's one of the only things you said about what you want, as opposed to all the stuff you are experiencing that you don't want: I want to ...
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  • 776
39 votes

Disclosing parent separation to all children together or each one separately

I am not sure there is a right answer, but to me, it would make sense to do it together. The reasoning for this is the following: I feel it would be better to have both of you present for the ...
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  • 3,109
25 votes

I don't want to be a father

You are going to be a father soon. My response will be limited to that. It's pretty clear that you probably won't find happiness in your marriage, so the question might be, for the sake of your child,...
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24 votes

Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old and her mother moving in with a man I've never met?

I don't think there's anything you can do about this. Imagine it was the other way around - would you let her tell you who you can live with? To 1: Just because he's a policeman doesn't mean he's ...
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23 votes

Disclosing parent separation to all children together or each one separately

Telling them separately means you end up telling them slightly different stories. By letting one of them know first you also send a signal about who is more important. Both of these are things to ...
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  • 2,899
22 votes

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

Apologize to them. This reaction may be even more about you lying to them, than about the separation. Kids are not stupid, and may have suspected something is up already. Put yourself into their ...
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  • 6,642
20 votes
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Effects on children and parents of marriage breaking up

I am divorced with several kids. Twice. My €0.02 (or should I be allowed to add €0.04?) essentially boil down to this: It's hard work. It's hard for you. It's hard for the children. But. IMO, ...
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  • 2,846
20 votes

How can I prevent my parents' divorce?

I'm sorry your father burdened you with this. What can I do to prevent this divorce? Honestly? You could try to guilt them into staying together. You could try to act as a marriage counselor. You ...
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  • 6,533
19 votes

Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old and her mother moving in with a man I've never met?

I agree with those who have advocated communication. That's the only option open to you at this point. Are you being unreasonable? About your daughter living with a stranger, no, I don't think so. ...
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17 votes

I don't want to be a father

Although my situation was different, I felt much the same way as you do five years ago. I ended up leaving my wife, but instead of feeling relieved and/or happier it made me feel worse. To make a long ...
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  • 318
15 votes

I don't want to be a father

Would my son be better off with a father who doesn't want to be around but is putting on a smiling face, or a father who was divorced early on? How do I handle my situation? Whether you like it or ...
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  • 251
15 votes
Accepted

Should I push my parents to divorce?

Should I push my parents to divorce? To make it plain: No. The answer is "no" for at least two reasons: The decision whether or not to divorce is quite complex, with multiple consequences either ...
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  • 2,678
14 votes

I don't want to be a father

Since it is a question&answer board about parenting, I would only answer (vaguely) the parenting part. But do keep in mind that it is only my personal opinion. For the child, the question would ...
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  • 1,519
13 votes

What are the options when the mother of a 7 year old is imprisoned?

That question and answer you linked said everything about why you absolutely should tell the child the truth. At seven your grand is perfectly capable of understanding the concepts of right and wrong; ...
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  • 17.4k
12 votes
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Should I try to reconnect my 16-year-old daughter with her father?

Do NOT do anything without her consent. This will damage trust in your relationship and is likely to make things worse As long as neither your daughter or you ex ask you specifically to get involve, ...
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  • 6,642
11 votes

I don't want to be a father

Regardless of what happens between you and your wife, you need to come to terms with the fact that your obligation to your son is now one of the most central realities of your life. The fact that he ...
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11 votes

How to tell kids about divorce when only one parent still loves the other?

This is so hard, my heart goes out to you. BOTH parents loved each other to have kids. It's a good thing to remember that and to support your partner. That will show your children that even though ...
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  • 17.4k
10 votes

what to do when the father makes poor personal choices (not necessarily a bad father)

I can really relate to your post, and Erica's response. You really do have my sympathies and best wishes for all involved. My father was an alcoholic (he's passed away) and was both physically and ...
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  • 66.7k
10 votes

How can I prevent my parents' divorce?

First off, thank you for caring enough to make a positive difference in your parents' life. You would not believe how helpful you are being, just by caring. Now for the hard news. It can take ...
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  • 1,497
10 votes

I don't want to be a father

I see many worthwhile and insightful thoughts here. I want to add a success story I hope you'll identify with. I am also a musician and have a story which bears other similarities to yours--such as ...
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  • 221
10 votes
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How to help my 9-year-old daughter with an eating disorder (comfort eating)?

I admire you for both recognizing the problem and seeking help. Single parenting is difficult; changing your daufghter's eating patterns will demand even more from you. :( First, though, comfort ...
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  • 66.7k
10 votes

After divorce: alternating parents in the kids' home or alternating kids in parents' houses?

I think that as a practical matter it would be easier on the kids to stay in the same home, but I think it would be a strain on the parents and not necessarily effective in the long term. Sharing a ...
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10 votes
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How can I help my son overcome his fear of dogs so we can enjoy our time together with my puppy?

We adopted my son when he was four and a half years old, from China. He was terrified of animals. He reportedly ran, screaming, from the room at a birthday party, when a kitten entered the room. We ...
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9 votes

Names or Phrases to Use for Step-Mom?

I agree, it's noone's business. "No, this is Ema" is a perfectly reasonable answer. Or, she can say, No, this is my dad's girlfriend, Ema. No, my mom is in Cinncinatti. This is Ema. No, this is not ...
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9 votes
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My 5 year old princess makes me feel unwanted

It breaks my heart to hear how badly things have gone between you and your ex-wife--this has no doubt been a VERY difficult time for your daughter (and you). Even an amicable separation is hard on ...
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