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150 votes
Accepted

Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old and her mother moving in with a man I've never met?

I suggest you invite the guy out for a beer to get to know him. Make it clear that you are not jealous, that you wish them well, and that the only thing you care about his how he treats your daughter ...
Kevin's user avatar
  • 6,290
59 votes

How can I handle a daughter who says she doesn't want to stay with me more than one day?

Well, not like that. Your daughter voiced a perfectly reasonable sentiment (being away from home is disruptive, and some people really don't like disruptions like that). She even tried hard to make ...
Arno's user avatar
  • 3,050
41 votes
Accepted

How to explain why ex-wife's family no longer wants to be friends with Dad

You don't need to get into any details to explain this to a ten year old. Son, sometimes people decide that they don't want to talk to other people any more. The reasons don't matter; it's their ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.6k
39 votes

Disclosing parent separation to all children together or each one separately

I am not sure there is a right answer, but to me, it would make sense to do it together. The reasoning for this is the following: I feel it would be better to have both of you present for the ...
Layna's user avatar
  • 3,109
35 votes
Accepted

How can I handle a daughter who says she doesn't want to stay with me more than one day?

I upvoted @Arno's answer because the advice is sound. I'd like to take a different approach. It will sound harsh, but please know I don't mean it to be harsh. I just mean it to hopefully be a better ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
23 votes

Disclosing parent separation to all children together or each one separately

Telling them separately means you end up telling them slightly different stories. By letting one of them know first you also send a signal about who is more important. Both of these are things to ...
Peter's user avatar
  • 2,899
23 votes

Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old and her mother moving in with a man I've never met?

I don't think there's anything you can do about this. Imagine it was the other way around - would you let her tell you who you can live with? To 1: Just because he's a policeman doesn't mean he's ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
22 votes

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

Apologize to them. This reaction may be even more about you lying to them, than about the separation. Kids are not stupid, and may have suspected something is up already. Put yourself into their ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,294
18 votes

Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old and her mother moving in with a man I've never met?

I agree with those who have advocated communication. That's the only option open to you at this point. Are you being unreasonable? About your daughter living with a stranger, no, I don't think so. ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
15 votes
Accepted

Should I push my parents to divorce?

Should I push my parents to divorce? To make it plain: No. The answer is "no" for at least two reasons: The decision whether or not to divorce is quite complex, with multiple consequences either ...
sleske's user avatar
  • 2,768
13 votes

What are the options when the mother of a 7 year old is imprisoned?

That question and answer you linked said everything about why you absolutely should tell the child the truth. At seven your grand is perfectly capable of understanding the concepts of right and wrong; ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
12 votes
Accepted

Should I try to reconnect my 16-year-old daughter with her father?

Do NOT do anything without her consent. This will damage trust in your relationship and is likely to make things worse As long as neither your daughter or you ex ask you specifically to get involve, ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,294
11 votes

How to tell kids about divorce when only one parent still loves the other?

This is so hard, my heart goes out to you. BOTH parents loved each other to have kids. It's a good thing to remember that and to support your partner. That will show your children that even though ...
WRX's user avatar
  • 17.4k
11 votes

How to explain why ex-wife's family no longer wants to be friends with Dad

how can both her and I collectively explain to him this new inter-family protocol (which THEY set), without getting into the dirty details of the divorce? As @Joe said, you don't need to go into any ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
10 votes

After divorce: alternating parents in the kids' home or alternating kids in parents' houses?

I think that as a practical matter it would be easier on the kids to stay in the same home, but I think it would be a strain on the parents and not necessarily effective in the long term. Sharing a ...
Joe's user avatar
  • 62.6k
10 votes
Accepted

How can I help my son overcome his fear of dogs so we can enjoy our time together with my puppy?

We adopted my son when he was four and a half years old, from China. He was terrified of animals. He reportedly ran, screaming, from the room at a birthday party, when a kitten entered the room. We ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
10 votes

"Mommy doesn't like daddy" - What to do about my 4-year-old daughter crying for 20 min everytime I pick her up from my ex-wife?

First, congratulations on going through with shared parenting, difficult as it may be at times. I believe (and many agree) that it's good for a child to keep both parents even after a separation. ...
sleske's user avatar
  • 2,768
9 votes

Is unethical behavior during separation/divorce likely to affect future relationship with children?

Not only is nasty behavior between parents likely to cause mental and emotional harm to children, it appears to impact lifelong health as well. "Early life stressful experiences do something to our ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330
9 votes
Accepted

Is unethical behavior during separation/divorce likely to affect future relationship with children?

Speaking from personal experience being that child: ABSOLUTELY. Do not do this. Your children will find out. They will understand what you did. They will judge you accordingly. One of my parents ...
BunnyKnitter's user avatar
  • 2,140
9 votes

Duplicate or single Christmas tree?

I admire the practical desire to not duplicate toys, items and experiences with your kids. They probably don't need two of the exact same toy or need to go to the zoo with mom one day then back the ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
9 votes
Accepted

Should I be concerned about my daughter's behavior (or my wife's)? Trying to co-parent

I do not want to call Child Protective Services (CPS) I think that's maybe a little more drastic than what the situation calls for and I am not trying to make my relationship any worse with the ex. I ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
8 votes

How can I get my children to develop a half sibling relationship

Please put yourself in your daughter's position for a moment: You are 11. You are starting to discuss "cool" things with your girlfriends and can't wait to be a bit older. And with a bit of ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
8 votes

My parents got divorced and want financial information from me

If you are happy with the way it was handled & feel satisfied, then no I wouldn't do a thing. If you don't have some axe to grind with your mom & are not intending to get money out of her, ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330
7 votes

After divorce: alternating parents in the kids' home or alternating kids in parents' houses?

Speaking as a child of divorce, I can tell you: it was inconvenient to keep my belongings in two houses, but it was never alienating. When you and your former spouse split time with the kids, you'll ...
Eikre's user avatar
  • 171
7 votes
Accepted

My wife's ex blocks all kind of contact between her and her daughter's (except a Sunday call), should she be honest about it with the children?

From what you describe, the father obviously has sole custody of the children. To really know what to do in this situation, it would probably be necessary to understand why he has sole custody. ...
Buzz's user avatar
  • 1,626
7 votes
Accepted

How can the non-custodial parent remain a strong influence in their children's lives?

Kudos for asking yourself (and us) this question and your willingness to be a good dad. A lot will depend on the relationship with your ex-partner. I'm assuming a "reasonably amicable divorce" here. ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
7 votes

What is best for my child - a narcissist father or no father?

I have a narcissist as a father. My mom tried to keep the family together for the sake of being normal. She thought it would be best for us. It was hard to live with my father and to take the ...
Understanding's user avatar
7 votes

Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old and her mother moving in with a man I've never met?

Communication is key. I believe you should talk to your ex-partner and see if/when you could come by for a visit to get to know him. It's the adult thing to do. If you regularly go to pick up your ...
Jan Mayer's user avatar
7 votes

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

Well this is devastating information for most children to receive. Learning so by reading papers is also an additional sting and sorting out they have been either directly lied to or deceived is also ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330

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