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65 votes
Accepted

Lying to my daughter about her mother's death

As far as working on a eliciting a reaction goes, if she seems to be coping ok and there aren't any other behavior / mood changes to indicate problems, I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone handles ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
43 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

I cannot really give first-hand advice, never having been in a similar situation. However, I would think the basic approach should be the same as for an adopted child. Basically: don't push ...
sleske's user avatar
  • 2,768
27 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

Your second wife is your daughter's mom. She's all that your daughter has ever known. She's just 3 years old, and this stability (mom & you) is important to her. You don't have to be the ...
ScotT's user avatar
  • 712
22 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

My biological father died when i was an infant, and my mom remarried before I knew any difference. They told me about this when I was somewhere between 6 and 8 years old. I might even have started to ...
Leo Lansford's user avatar
19 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

A little about myself... My Mom married my Dad when I was 5. At 12, she revealed to me that he wasn't my biological father. It was absolutely traumatic and devastating. It felt like my life was a lie....
RubberDuck's user avatar
19 votes
Accepted

Family wants my 2.5 year old daugter to visit my declining grandmother

It will totally be your own judgement here. I would take my children. I take them already to the nursing home to just visit people. Old people, even those without much faculty left, often love ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330
14 votes

Preparing a 3-year old for the death of a sibling

I'm truly sorry for your situation, that's a horrific & traumatic experience to go through. I wouldn't worry too much about the direct impact on your 3 year old. She is still very young and quite ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,294
12 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

You tell her when the opportunity arises naturally. For example, your daughter may see a pregnant woman, or you and your wife may be planning on having children together. When this occurs, your ...
Deacon's user avatar
  • 590
11 votes

How to prepare children for impending death of a parent?

My dad died 3 years ago from cancer, I was 24 at the time. Let me first say that it sucks, and I feel for you, but you don't need to be told that! I was lucky in a sense, because my mother-in-law (I ...
Ieuan Stanley's user avatar
11 votes

Lying to my daughter about her mother's death

I don't know if now or later would be the best time to tell the truth, but you do need to tell her eventually since it's something that's going to be nearly impossible to keep hidden forever. If you ...
Dan Is Fiddling By Firelight's user avatar
10 votes

How to address with a child that a deceased actress appears in an upcoming movie?

This is a good age to start an ongoing discussion of death. If you're fearful of doing so, she will pick up on the negative emotions (aside from bereavement) surrounding the topic, which would be ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
10 votes

Family wants my 2.5 year old daugter to visit my declining grandmother

Speaking from some experience, my grandfather died when my child was around that age. I took her with me both to visit while he was deteriorating and to the funeral. She behaved herself well; I think ...
Erik's user avatar
  • 8,335
9 votes
Accepted

How to explain the "brutal" ways of wildlife and nature to a kid and when?

I'm going to draw an analogy from Monsters, Inc. The monsters in the movie scare kids in order to make power for their city. One such monster, Sulley, is the best scarer around. He never has any ...
Becuzz's user avatar
  • 13.3k
9 votes

How to instill sensitivity in kids?

Children sometimes react in counterintuitive ways to things that bother them. A fascination or inappropriate response to things that are scary, or gross, or otherwise boundary-pushing is not uncommon,...
Chris Sunami's user avatar
  • 6,173
9 votes
Accepted

How to explain pet's death to a three year old?

When my grandchild was 3, one of my dogs died. Before that, they would play with the dog at my home, and when we video chatted, they would ask to see him, which of course I would do. So they were very ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
8 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

Your daughter needs a positive differentiating term for each of the two women. Much like you introduced the your name as either "Dad", "Father", "Papa", or "Daddy" to your daughter, she will need ...
chux - Reinstate Monica's user avatar
8 votes
Accepted

4-year old unconcerned about pending death of pet

Given what a typical 4 year old knows about death, it most likely means nothing, as painful as it may have sounded to you. You know about suffering and death; she does not, especially if she has never ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
7 votes

My child is afraid of death

I had this problem when I was 8 and still kind of do. I'm not religious like her, and my mom is religious (buddism) like you. (sorta) The scariest part of death for me when I was that young was, I'll ...
arsarc's user avatar
  • 317
7 votes

How to explain the "brutal" ways of wildlife and nature to a kid and when?

The biggest issue here is most likely not the "animals eat each other", which is very abstract, but rather the watching NatGeo, which intentionally tries to make you feel a relation with the animals ...
Erik's user avatar
  • 8,335
7 votes
Accepted

What to say to a child whose pet just died

This is an interesting question because it pertains to all expressions of sympathy. I'll presume the dialogue was included to try to make sense of the interaction and her feelings, so an appropriate ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
7 votes

Lying to my daughter about her mother's death

First off... I'm am so sorry for your (and your daughters) loss. Along with all of the good advice others have given here I would encourage you to consider a couple of things. Not giving someone all ...
Mike's user avatar
  • 71
7 votes

How to explain pet's death to a three year old?

This year has been hard for our family because we've had to put down both our dog and one of our cats due to issues of advanced age. I had expected that explaining it to my kids (daughter's 5 and son'...
Pyrotechnical's user avatar
6 votes

At what age should I tell my daughter that her real mother is dead?

It really depends on your perspective. When I was 8 my biological parents divorced and after some time they each found new wives. All four of my parents had significant parts to play in raising me, ...
rm -rf slash's user avatar
6 votes

Delegating godfather responsibilities to atheist brother

I have some documents in place to specify that I don't want a certain pair of relatives from getting custody of my children. I am horrified at the idea of them getting control over my kids despite my ...
Acire's user avatar
  • 22.6k
6 votes

Lying to my daughter about her mother's death

There are plenty of good answers. I went through a similar process with very well-adjusted kids 4 years later. A few nuggets of wisdom: 1) Tell the "age-appropriate" truth. When my kids were younger, ...
Stu W's user avatar
  • 2,128
5 votes

What to say to a child whose pet just died

Hi, how are you today? Or, if you really feel the need to say something. I wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. If you want to talk about it, I am here. And if you don't, I will respect ...
YviDe's user avatar
  • 1,391
5 votes

Family wants my 2.5 year old daugter to visit my declining grandmother

I was recently in a similar situation; my grandmother has Alzheimer's as well as a broken hip, and I visited her in hospital with my 2.5 year old son. I found it very sad, but the discomfort was all ...
Royal Canadian Bandit's user avatar
5 votes

How to talk about a historic suicide in the family to young kids?

I'm not sure its a good idea to consider the childrens' ages individually, since they may be end up talking with each-other and learn they got a different story. I don't believe you should burden your ...
user7778287's user avatar

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