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257 votes
Accepted

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

Your sister got herself into a situation that she felt she needed to lie about. She could have continued doing that in the hope that she never got caught out, or until some crisis point where she was ...
Michael MacAskill's user avatar
59 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

I train dogs as a hobby. This situation reminds me of a cardinal rule of dog training - if your dog is off leash and does something you don’t like, never call him back to you and punish him. Why? He ...
Prince M's user avatar
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41 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

Raising a child, a parent or guardian has two main jobs, beyond providing food and shelter. Protecting her from dangers she's not capable of safely managing herself Guiding her development as a ...
Joe's user avatar
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21 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

Ask your sister. If your sister doesn't believe that her actions were worthy of punishment, then punishing her will only serve to illustrate the power you have over her and widen the gap between you. ...
Arcanist Lupus's user avatar
16 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

Should I punish my kid for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend? I suggest "no". Instead, consider feeling remorseful that she wanted to (or 'felt the need to') lie, and reconsider your ...
ChrisW's user avatar
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14 votes

Advice on dating when I have children

But, I also don't want to sneak around behind their backs like I'm doing something wrong. Assuming you're not bringing home a new guy every night, you're definitely not doing something wrong, but ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
14 votes

Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits

I am at a loss as to how to repair this relationship with the son now. I don't want to push them together by expressing my dislike of her and this whole situation to him, however, I fear this will be ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
13 votes

What to do about my 11 year old daughter dating a boy she's never met when I don't want her to?

From personal experience, when I went to the elementary school I got bullied a lot because I didn't fit in. High school was little better for me. But thanks to online gaming I came into contact with ...
A.bakker's user avatar
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8 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

I don't think you can achieve your aims with punishment. I think the fact that she confessed, and wants you to meet the guy is very positive - it may be that this guy is good for her confidence. I ...
Atcrank's user avatar
  • 181
8 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

As a former, teenager liar, I can see a number of reasons she could have lied to you in the first place: Fear of your judgement (founded, as you confess to have not decided for or against her ...
dmcontador's user avatar
7 votes

Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits

From the perspective of someone who has been on the far end of this situation, I would say follow the advice of other posters and be as welcoming as you can to both of them. If their relationship is ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
7 votes

Dating as a single parent - When do you introduce your kid?

As a non parent with no experience in this, I will give my two cents. As a disclaimer, there is no objective answer, the entire situation is subjective to how you feel. With that said, my answer is ...
Anoplexian's user avatar
  • 1,374
6 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

I see nothing worrying in this situation, except the original lie. The age difference is perfectly normal and her behaviour is excellent. Have a friendly talk with her, be proud (and tell it) that ...
Tom's user avatar
  • 437
5 votes

Advice on dating when I have children

As always you have to think about what sort of example you are setting for your children. If sleeping around is something you do not want for your daughters then maybe it would be better if you do not ...
Neil Meyer's user avatar
5 votes

Advice on dating when I have children

I am a little confused on why not bringing a man home would be sneaking around behind your kid's back. Sneaking would be lying or hiding things they have a right to know. If my spouse goes out & ...
threetimes's user avatar
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4 votes

Stepson and girlfriend never come in the house now that we set limits

I don't think I can personally relate but I'd take a stab at some general opinion on the matter - Consider the concept of a celebrity publicly apologizing. You know it's fake. They're just doing it ...
Kai Qing's user avatar
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4 votes
Accepted

How to discuss with my kids returning to dating

Wow, your situation is a difficult one and I really sympathize. I've not been through that, but I've heard that the best approach is simply telling the truth and not being evasive - you need to be ...
NonCreature0714's user avatar
3 votes

Dating as a single parent - When do you introduce your kid?

I only introduced my date to my 3 children when we were serious ( after about a year) and now we are engaged. I kept this part of my life separate as didn't want my boys to get attached to any of the ...
user29664's user avatar
3 votes

How do I explain to my five year old daughter that I am seeing someone?

Well at first, you shouldn't handle it as a big deal, if you make a big deal out of dating someone your child will do as well. Probably a good way to introduce your child to the idea that you are ...
Etaila's user avatar
  • 2,505
3 votes

How to discuss with my kids returning to dating

I think its not the matter of explaining them adult companionship, its ensuring them that you love them and will be always be there no matter what. It's ensuring them they have nothing to lose. Ensure ...
user5193682's user avatar
3 votes

What are things to consider when moving yourself and kids closer to your girlfriend?

This all sounds pretty healthy. Your kids are still young and if there isn't a strong social attachment to your current environment, they are likely to adapt quickly. There doesn't seem to be any ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 7,274
2 votes

How to discuss with my kids returning to dating

I have an idea for you Stu that you might actually work with. Here's my idea: Start talking to your kids about how loneliness can arise in adults when they don't have adult companionship as well as ...
Inquisitive's user avatar
2 votes

How do I explain to my five year old daughter that I am seeing someone?

Since your daughter is only 5 years old, It really shouldn't make any difference to them if your 'seeing' them. What you need to do is just enjoy the company together as 'friends'. If you've already ...
tTurn3's user avatar
  • 167
2 votes

How do I explain to my five year old daughter that I am seeing someone?

Just asking "How do you feel that Joe and me are going out together?" is probably as sensible a way of opening the conversation as any. As you say, she's already probably worked it out, and it's not ...
deworde's user avatar
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2 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

You both did the right thing. You asked for advice to be a better guardian and brother while your sister told you about everything. She was scared that you would get angry but from what I see now, she ...
cody benedict's user avatar
2 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

You should only punish someone for doing something intentionally bad, like stealing, vandalism and so on. Lying is bad of course, but almost always bad in an indirect way. She didn't lie to gain ...
P. Goetterup's user avatar
2 votes

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

It seems that she doesn't feel trust in you. It happens. Sometimes as an elder sibling we feel insecure about our sisters or brothers as we don't want to lose them or them to make mistakes in their ...
user570074's user avatar
1 vote

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

Our job is to help them grow into adults who make smart choices, yet understand consequences. So yeah, discipline her if she broke your rules, but go easy if you think it's the right thing. Every ...
Kat's user avatar
  • 11
1 vote

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

As others have said, being able to raise a 16-year old at your age is impressive, and you should be proud that you're able to do that. In our state, he will be a legal adult at 19 and she will ...
user3753318's user avatar

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