30

3 years old is a prime time for children to assert their independence, developmentally they understand they are separate entities from everyone else. With some kids, choices are key. Many are extremely motivated to do something as long as it is in their own way. I would recommend that you don't allow her to decide for herself, but give her meaningful ...


28

It depends on the child - some babies sleep through the night when young, some insist on feeding every couple of hours. Some need constant entertainment, some like wriggling in a basket. You'll probably be tired, and not be able to do as much non baby related stuff as you are used to, but you might not care. You'll probably want to spend lots of the time you ...


24

Giving some freedom won't hurt. But make sure you are confortable with whatever she comes up. Preferably it shouldn't be her deciding, you should come up with an "evening plan" together. A good trick is to discuss the problem, reach a consensus, and write down what you decided together on a sheet of paper, then hang the sheet somewhere visible. She can't (...


24

This is interesting; it's only tangentially related to parenting, though. It has more to do with etiquette. Is it ever OK to demand a fixed time of arrival for a family with young children? Of course it is. The host/hostess can demand anything they like. You, however, don't have to give in to any demands made on you. You can simply - and you do have this ...


24

No one seems to have put it the way I would. Many years ago I was browsing in a bookstore with my daughter on my shoulder. An older gentleman asked her age. I told him; she was about 1 at the time. He looked at me wistfully and said, "enjoy them while they're young. They grow up very fast." Now I'm the older man, as that little girl is now 23, and ...


14

First off, what you're describing is common even for families with similar attitudes. Young children have a tough time dealing with changes, and having to sleep in an unusual bed or sleeping arrangement is hard. Your baby will probably have trouble even if the two kids were perfectly normal: it's the change in habits that does it. I certainly would expect ...


13

I can speak from personal experience with situations like that. We bring our child's meals with us. We prepare everything and have little containers always. So our child isn't involved in anyone's eating schedule. When dealing with scheduled events, if I experience what you just described with people getting angry at me and my wife because they don't ...


12

I hope that if you and your wife are ready and truly want children that you will go ahead. However you have to be prepared to parent which is another full-time career and one that should have priority over any other one. In a perfect world, you'll have perfect children. I am not trying to be a naysayer, but if you would be unhappy giving up your usual ...


11

The only harm that might come of allowing your child to choose when to get ready for bed is that they might not get enough sleep, and they might develop poor sleep habits. As long as you place a reasonable limit to how late she can choose so she gets plenty of sleep at night, then there's no reason you can't let her choose. In my experience, however, ...


11

If you are asking, "Is a disrupted sleep schedule harmful to my 1 month old?", the answer is no. Sleep is important to newborns, and they will sleep when it's necessary. Babies in utero are attuned to a mother's circadian rhythms, due in part to maternal hormones (cortisol and melatonin both pass through the placenta), maternal activity and other factors.[...


11

I don't think there is any connection to indoors/outdoors and introvert/extrovert. However, a 18 month old is really developing very fast, and should be developing social, motor and language skills. it is not clear from your question if your child is cared for in a nursery/daycare or if he/she is at home with you while you work? Do you mean going 'out' ...


9

Keep in mind, your nieces' routines are being disrupted as well, and their behavior isn't quite normal in this situation either. We were in similar situations when our children were younger. What happened with us was no one was very happy with the situation, but no one wanted to admit they didn't want to fill every possible waking moment with family ...


7

Tell them you love them and (possibly) hug them I was surprised that noone suggested that. Don't do it too late in the ritual, because of the no stimulai rule. A good place would be probably after tell me about your day.


7

Toddlers can be in the car for quite a long time, there's no set guideline - it depends on the child. As for routines that also depends on the child. I think what's happening is that your child is getting bored of long car trips. 3-5 hours is a long time for a child to be sitting without toys or entertainment. I'd suggest getting him some car friendly toys,...


6

The most important thing in my opinion is to see whether the child is sleepy during the day. Or grumpy because of missing sleep. If this is it, then you should rethink the bed times. For you it seems not the case, so when she is not missing the sleep during day and you are fine with the times, so I dont see any reason to change. The only think, that ...


6

For me, it has been absolutely fantastic. Really fun. I have worked in exciting careers, and had the opportunity to travel extensively to many parts of the world. I have partied all night in many cities, and done many crazy things. I have worked in science, and experienced the thrill of discovery. None of these activities comes even close to the joy I've ...


6

I am not sure what specific practices you are referencing, but as a manager and a parent, I don't readily see a crossover from work to home. In a work culture you are dealing with non-familial relationships. This requires stricter boundaries, and success in enforcement of policies relies on the ultimate understanding that a person can be fired for non-...


5

Agreeing on a routine together is important. We have used sticker charts to great effect in our house when if, for example, they go to bed nicely 5 days they get a treat. Then you can focus on the "Next we will do the and let's see if we can do that well too as you might get a sticker tonight" so it's a positive thing. We have found that battling with our ...


5

In my experience, car trips are fine below 12 months and above 24, but in the 12-24 range they are frustrating. That's because the child is mobile and wants to be moving around, but not intellectually mature enough to do the sort of creative play things you can do as an older child. My almost-3 year old is fine on long car trips now (we're 7 hours from ...


5

Some people hate the idea of having to follow a structured routine. I'm not sure how you present the breakdown of the evening to her, but if it's at all an ordered sequence of events, she may simply not care about it or she might want to break out of it. Either way, I'd say the root of the problem is you don't have her 'buy in'. She likely doesn't quite ...


5

It sounds like the other parents are disregarding your interests and concerns in favor of their own preferred style and interests. Your examples of their statements are anything but respectful or considerate. I could accept that for an afternoon visit, but I'd not be happy with that arrangement during a multi-day family get-together. It's not about your ...


5

While routine may have benefits, the most important thing is to make sure the child gets plenty of sleep. A lot of children who have older siblings end up with no routine because their "schedule" is arranged around those of their older brothers and sisters. My older child had a routine at this age, but when the second one came along, the kids would not ...


5

They Both Work It's the wrong question: your child can be healthy with lots of structure or almost none. It's About Your Situation It's a bit too specific to your situation to answer, as it all depends on whether or not you do need the structure to live yourself within your conditions. Likewise, you may need structure in some circumstances and not others ...


5

I don't think a specific amount is really definable, in particular because each child is different. However, the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) endorses "Caring for our Children", a set of national standards for childcare environments (ie, daycares). Their recommendation: Outdoor play: Infants (birth to twelve months of age) should be taken ...


5

Is there any way I can make him faster? Among the many, many things you'll learn as you age, one of the most important lessons is that you can't control other people, you can only control yourself. Commonly, people trying to get other people to change their behavior try talking, explaining, getting angry, begging, shaming, bribing, etc. All this will ...


5

Honestly, I avoid that approach. I don't reward at all. I also do not punish. My children are permitted at times to work toward something they want but it's over and above normal things they do that help sustain the household or do their studies, etc. This is a quote from an interview with Alfie Kohn who has wrote extensively on exactly this. You can ...


5

I'd switch up the order. Make him get dressed before breakfast. If he takes too long, he misses breakfast. That's a consequence he can understand, close enough to the time of getting dressed.


5

The weekly variations in wake time within 1.5 hour range could be caused by a number of things (for some of which you may want to consult a pediatrician). One of the possible causes could be simple variations in nighttime or daytime routines. These you have control over. I assume from your question that the nighttime routine is fairly constant ("We get her ...


4

Give them choices! We follow the "Love and Logic" parenting technique (www.loveandlogic.com, and LOVE it) which speaks about giving kids a much control as possible so that parents can take control when needed…i.e. I have given you many choices and now it is my turn to make a choice. Along these lines, one of the things that has worked well with our three ...


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