44

Children have all kinds of reasons for feeling more comfortable in the presence of their parents at night. I can respect that. But you need your sleep and your time with your wife. One option people rarely mention is putting the kid to bed in their parents' room. After months of struggling with our (2.5 year old) second child, I bought a thick foam rubber ...


37

Hamad, I think that many children around the world sleep in the same room as their parents -- some for most of their lives. Most of these will/have become perfectly normal, healthy adults. I'd say it is up to you. I think you can research co-sleeping, sleep sharing or family bed to help you make an informed decision. Link -- here is one article from Parents


21

No, on the contrary there is even an indication that this reduces stress for your child. This study on co-sleeping in 101 infants concludes: At 5 weeks and 6 months, the long-term co-sleeping infants differed significantly from the non-co-sleepers on a number of measures: At 5 weeks, they showed more quiet sleep and longer bouts of quiet sleep; and at 6 ...


17

First of all, if the child is sleeping with us, we can't engage in any other bed-suitable activities than sleeping. At least I think that sex is out of the question if our child sleeps with us. Secondly, it may be difficult for the child to learn to sleep without parents later on. At one time or another it will have to happen and the transition may be ...


13

Our daughter is three years old now and has slept in our bed for about two and a half years. Even now, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she continues her night at our bed. And like yours, she likes to lay with her head at here mom's and her feet in my back.. (terrible ;) ) We moved her to her own room and bed about a year ago. Telling her that ...


12

Many people around the world sleep with their children. I am not saying you should, but that children are not as disturbed as you are by sex. They seem to ignore it or sleep through it. The point is to wait until they are asleep, and perhaps don't go out of your way to be noisy. However, the problem you want to solve is to get your child to sleep in his own ...


11

Kids need to learn that things have edges and that you fall down when you crawl or toddle over them. We had our kids often on a futon on a carpet. Maybe an 8" fall. That was perfect for learning what happens if you go over the edge and what to do about this. As a result they were all very early "staircase" safe and knew what to do when approaching an edge. ...


10

I would add that there are significant cultural differences between the US and to some extent other western countries (particularly British-origin cultures) and eastern countries (and even some 'western' countries) that make this a very different issue for the two cultures. I'm going to use 'Americans' here as that is my experience, but I believe some of ...


9

I think the simple answer is: "This too shall pass." You need to stay with him until he's comfortable not having you with him. He obviously has anxiety around sleeping by himself in his bed. The best (only?) way to allay that anxiety is to have one of his parents there with him. Much as it might not be ideal for you, I think the best thing for him is to ...


8

Children like routine. A framework allows them to feels safe and then start to explore the world and their place in it. People need routine for good sleep. People who have problems with sleep need to start quite a rigid routine and stick to it. So, try that first. You and your ex should try to agree a routine that you both try to stick to. This will ...


8

Our first son had a mattress on the floor in his room. We would do bedtime routines in his room, and when he was asleep, we went to our bedroom. This gave us the privacy we needed. At some point in the night, he would wake up and come to our bed. He was still doing this when he was almost 5 yrs. old and his brother was born. So then, both boys shared a ...


6

This sort of thing isn't limited to separated parents. My oldest (who's 3.5) is very similar, but with "daycare" in place of the other parent. He naps consistently every day at 12:30 on the nose for 3 hours at daycare (or until recently did; I think that time is going down a bit now that he's older). Best napper they've ever seen - and has since he was a ...


6

I had this issue (still sometimes do) with my littlest son. What worked for us was a little stuffed animal that he picked out. The stuffy substituted for Mom and Dad when he woke up at night. We still sat in his room for a bit until he fell asleep, but we gave him instructions to talk it over with his stuffy before coming to get us at night. We also used ...


5

For issue number 1: What works best for us is the 'I will be right back' method. We do the following: Put them to bed and sing a song Tell them: I will sit here 5 min, then I will leave. Close your eyes and sleep. After 5 min get up and say: I will be right back, just close your eyes and sleep. Then come back after 30 sec to 1 min (the importance here ...


5

Dariusz gave a great answer. I only want to add that in reference to smaller (< 1 years old) children, some parents are heavy sleepers, in the event that a parent rolls over on the child, and smothers that child so that they cannot breathe, and the parent sleeping too heavy to know, then tragedy can result. The child may also decide at that moment to ...


5

I don't think you need any different solution than what you already have. He rolls around, and finds the boundaries. There's no harm in that; he won't get bruises or concussions from rolling in the crib. A larger crib will only give him longer crib sides to hit his head on. You might want to shop around for some padding on the inside of the crib; make ...


5

We cosleep and have never rolled on the baby. We've done this since she was about 1 month old (up until then, she slept alone with her mother), and she's now 6 1/2 months old. It's really cosy, even though there are often interruptions to your sleep. The first nights were tricky, because of the fear of rolling on her, but eventually you just become aware ...


5

Actually, to answer your first question, yes, it's bad. The American Academy of Pediatricians recommend that infants stay in the same bedroom with their parents until at least six months of age and it is recommended until they hit a full year old unless you have a good-quality baby monitor. It is recommended that infants sleep in the parents’ room, close to ...


5

Harm? No. Impact? Yes. As you stated, "she won't go anywhere alone at home, but will always stick around us at the same room wherever we are". Answers will be anecdotal, as this is isn't a question with the same answer for everyone. In general, the answer is up to you. I'd explore other questions, like: Do we (adults) get enough sleep, or is the ...


5

There are two very famous anthropology papers about this in the Japanese context. Caudill, W., & Plath, D. W. (1966). Who sleeps by whom? Parent-child involvement in urban Japanese families. Psychiatry, 29(4), 344-366. Shweder, R. A., Jensen, L. A., & Goldstein, W. M. (1995). Who sleeps by whom revisited: A method for extracting the moral goods ...


4

I will offer thoughts on my plan: Just like my daughter, I think it just takes getting used to and I just need to practice. Also I think adults could benefit from a bedtime routine as well which I don't have. I also don't have a set wake up time so I would implement that as well as being conscious of other factors: eating 3 hours before bed doing a non-...


4

I wouldn't recommend co-sleeping in the same bed, there are dangers associated with it (http://www.parents.com/advice/babies/sleep/is-it-safe-to-let-my-baby-sleep-in-my-bed/), and it isn't a good long term solution. You might look for a portable cradle of some kind which can fold up for easy storage or transportation. I don't know how large his current ...


4

My first thought is that maybe something is making her uncomfortable which causes her to move around more, hit and kick. Could she maybe be teething? When my son is uncomfortable with teething, the main sign seems to be restlessness at night. He'll fidget more and often wake himself up soon after falling back to sleep. Another reason could be if she feels ...


4

Sleep is a horrible topic to ask advice on ☺ Everybody has an opinion and already you've received aggregate data and opinions on the subject. But let's just dial this back before we start tucking into scientific papers or op-eds. Why are you even asking? You're asking because you have concerns with the existing arrangement. Regardless of whether this is ...


4

We put our kids in their own bedromms, because We want to have sleep. And they also want to sleep. We have 3 kids. The first 2 always woke up if I turned in my bed. Or when I went to bed. Or when I went to the toilet at night. This is NOT tightening bounds. Moreover, every time the kid moved, You will wake up. Show sex or not is not the discussion here. ...


3

We went through this with our 2-year-old kid. I took baby steps toward our goal. For example, night 1 I was sitting in a chair beside his bed until he fell asleep, night 5 I was halfway to the door and his bed, night 10 I was sitting in a chair outside the door until he fell asleep. Soon I was able to leave the room at nights with him awake after just 5 ...


3

Our kids made it very obvious they wanted their own beds. The first at 3, the second before 18 months. They got to the point of being fidgety and grumpy when in our bed, often kicking away to get their own space, and seeming irritated to be with us. We made a point to get them beds, letting them pick bedding, and praising attention around the bed. There ...


3

The Baby Book By Dr. Sears has an entire chapter addressing this very subject. He is pro-cosleeping and introduces a number of ways to "wean" from the process depending on your particular needs. His suggestion that he favors was way too old for my tastes, but since he offered mid-range suggestions as well, my husband and I found a comfortable middle ground ...


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