27

We've recently read Positive Parenting, and it has several suggestions we're going to implement. First, no TV within an hour of bedtime for either child. This is from me, not from the book-- TV is just too stimulating, even the most simplistic programs, so once one kid's going to bed, shut it off for the other one to get him to calm down. I have our TV ...


24

Is there a way to execute corporal punishment in public without triggering unknowing and irrational fears in strangers? No, not in this day and age. I would not spank in public, but that doesn't mean I would do nothing. Removing a child to a private place for a little sit-down or a time out would be my choice. Removing them to a private place for a swat on ...


23

Yes, some insight into any specific behavior or behavior set you are trying to discourage would be helpful as per Beofett's comment. In general, rule #1 is, NEVER try to discipline your children when you are enraged at them. It's OK to be angry with them (you wouldn't be punishing them otherwise), but you must be able to be objective when disciplining, so ...


14

First, emotions are really big beasts inside us, and they can be scary things for any small child who doesn't feel he has the means to control them. Please keep in mind that your son isn't born knowing what to do when he feels angry or frustrated; these are just huge feelings inside his body and they feel really, really bad. Your child will learn to cope ...


10

There was a study carried out by Professor Joan Durrant, University of Ontario, looking at the Swedish smacking ban called A Generation Without Smacking [PDF], first published in 1999. The key findings: Decline in public support for corporal punishment Decline in smacking/slapping children as a form of punishment No deaths of children as a result of ...


10

I took a sociology course in college and one of the main topics was spanking and how it is harmful. The professor taught us many reasons, such as the adult is showing the child that physical harm is an acceptable means of control, that the child cannot trust the adult, that since spanking is rarely a consistent behavior (especially because the parent is not ...


10

To be honest, I think this one is house-by-house cultural, depending on whether the behaviour desired is understanding of right and wrong, or obeying authority figures. Spanking is traditionally a clear indicator of an Authoritarian household or organisation, where the key to discipline is obedience; understanding of the issues involved are, at most, a ...


9

Say, "this is not going to help you get what you want. When you are ready to calm down come see me". Then walk away. A child should not get ANYTHING for their tantrums, attention included. If you are in a public space and can't walk away, simply pick up the child and go to a safe place where you can sit and read or something while the child finishes his/...


9

It looks like negotiation isn't working here, so why not tell the child, "Because of your behaviour at bedtimes, we will be putting you to bed before your brother, until you start to behave properly." And then stick to sending him to bed early for a week - say you'll check how he is doing then. In the wider context, identifying when negotiation isn't ...


8

I stick by the old adage "Praise in public, discipline in private." My parents had no qualms about taking me outside if we were in a restaraunt, or back to the car if we were at a park or something similar. Since disciplining your child is your business and no one else's, I would take your child to the restroom or back to the car. A restroom works ...


7

Making him the center of attention when he doesn't get his way (by letting his tantrum get the best of you and completely derail your behavior and your happiness) is just a recipe for more tantrums. Why are you provoking a confrontation to begin with? He doesn't want to drink milk? So what. Give him a few healthy alternatives (milk, water, limited juice)....


5

I'm neither a philosopher nor a behaviour specialist, but my reasoning goes along these lines (and doesn't come with any warranty): Young kids learn to deal with everyday life by copying/imitating whatever their parents do. Until a certain age they consider that anything that parent does is the right thing to do. What they don't understand at 2 or 3 is why ...


4

I like the top poster's response on providing limited choices. "Do you want to walk or be carried to your room" "No answer? ok then I guess we'll carry you". One thing I noticed is that if you give two choices, my kid would choose the second one 70% of the time at that age.


4

If you ever feel like you are going to hit your kid, simplest thing to do is just walk away until you are in control again. Who cares if he screams and knocks stuff over or even breaks something etc (as long as he isn't endangering himself, but, with a large angry man pumped full of testosterone whose fight-or-flight response has just kicked in, he's ...


2

You can't avoid getting judged for your parenting decisions. Just look at the responses on this page. If you didn't spank, other people would judge you for trying to logically reason with a three year-old throwing a tantrum, thereby dragging out the child's misery, not to mention annoying everyone in earshot. Here's some things to keep in mind, though: ...


2

Tantrums occur when a person (of any age) realizes that their view of the world and reality are not the same. When a child has a tantrum, the child is struggling to cope with this difference, and adjusting their world view. It is important for children to feel safe and loved, especially when they are having trouble coping with a reality that they can't ...


2

...are [there] times when we should ask the kid not to make an eye contact? No, I can't think of any situation where we should ask or insist that a child not make eye contact. Eye gaze is an important part of social interaction. If you want to know what your child is thinking and feeling, eye gaze will partially inform you of that. If you don't want to ...


1

A great lesson I heard my dad give was: "Home is where the kind of self-discipline that is remembered, is taught". A great lesson I heard from a pastor was: "Never hit your children in anger, it is never spanking or discipline". And my honest perspective is: "Discipline is only as effective as the patient self-discipline of the parent; ...


1

I've a 3 year old, so don't yet have experience with five year olds, but we have similar troubles getting him off to bed at night. Seems like 50% of the time he's going under protest usually accompanied by tears. And often those are associated with TV watching, as in the OP. One of the most useful techniques we've picked up when he's watching TV at night ...


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