125

You may not like this answer, but bear with me for a moment, please. So first, let’s recap what happened. Your son checked the answers for a test, during the test, in order to correct possible mistakes. Technically this exactly what cheating is - getting the correct answers from other sources than the own knowledge or conclusions. The standard procedure in ...


108

Kids are going to be kids. There is a lot of social etiquette and nuance that they will learn as they gain experience. Four years old is not the time. You should not place this burden on your child at such a young age. Using terms of today, this is Victim Blaming 101. The aggressor (the 28-yo that is yelling at a child) should be the one that is reprimanded, ...


67

To answer the question as to "why protests turn to riots" it often comes down to people not feeling like they are heard. Think about if you (or your child) is asking for something, something you believe is important and the person who you are asking seems to be ignoring you. You might ask again. And again. And again..... and again. Eventually some ...


59

How do I express my feelings towards him being gay without actually hurting his feelings? Right now, you don't unless he asks. Even then, I'd equivocate ("Give me time to gather my thoughts. This is new to me. But please know that I love you.") You can express your feelings to your wife, or to your priest, or to your best friend. And read about it. ...


51

Six years old is old enough to understand gender in a general sense, and it’s definitely old enough to have an intelligent conversation about the complexities of gender. So my answer is to be honest with them and tell them how you feel. If you know, then tell them. If you’re not sure, then say so- and explain why, and what is going on in your head. Say ...


36

A decent approach may be to keep it simple: "I'm still figuring that out", which sounds like a decent summary of where you are at the moment. Most kids are pretty chill about adults admitting we don't know everything, and if they'd like more information, they generally have no problem asking follow-up questions. If that's the case, it might be worth ...


30

I was furious, so I called the vice-principal and asked why a 6-year-old was shamed and that child doesn't know the concept of cheating. The VP told me that he was not shamed in front of the class but was brought to her office and she asked the reason, so my son told her that he was afraid that he might get fewer marks and parents would scold him. My son was ...


30

You could use it as an example of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crowd_psychology - what can happen when people feel like they are a part of a crowd. Their individual responsibility is diffused, things that people wouldn't ordinarily do become normalized. It could happen to anyone, especially if they are unaware. It could be a valuable lesson for your ...


30

Calling someone or video-chatting is a quite abstract form of communication, and I would guess that her verbal skills are still rather limited, which makes a bilateral communication via screen challenging. She won’t realize the nice parts about having at least a semblance of social interaction. It took my kids a decade to independently talk with family via ...


28

The root cause of your child's frustration is expecting to make complex things perfectly without a long process of trial and error. I suggest that the best long-term solution is to offer the child a more realistic version of what to expect on the path to mastery of most skills. All of the attempts to logically persuade the child are best done in the "cold" ...


27

Well, how do you feel about your son? I suspect, whatever your feeling are about homosexuality, in general, or in this specific case, you love your son very much, and want him to be happy. THAT is what you should express. If you have feelings one way or the other about him being gay, realize that that is not in your realm to control, and expressing opinions ...


25

This definitely seems like an issue for your brother in law, not for your son. Kids just don't adapt to changing circumstances that quickly; even much older children would have a problem handling that quick of a switch. Teaching your brother in law how to handle disengaging may be helpful, if he's receptive to that. My six year old is still pretty "silly" ...


19

It seems from your question fairly evident that you don't know yourself why people would behave this way as members of the privileged majority it's not easy to intuit why people feel a more significant protest is needed. I think it it entirely acceptable to tell your children "I don't know". If you try to explain others' answers you are going to struggle ...


14

My apologies in advance if this post isn't accurate; I've made a lot of assumptions based on people I've met, many of which may not apply in your situation. Several parts of your story remind me of other children I've seen who were stressed about their school performance not being good enough. Your son's situation may be not be similar, but if it is, ...


14

My kids (8 and 7) have gone in and out of interest of video chatting with Grandma (who they love seeing in person) over the years. We've not really stressed about it too much; we did at first, and then realized it wasn't always going to work out - and all parties learned to be okay with it, basically. To avoid adding too much stress, we just call Grandma ...


13

When it comes to words that don't have very concrete meaning to a young mind (such as "love" and "like"), children learn to associate those words (and phrases) with the contexts that they're used in before they actually understand the meaning. This can result in children using phrases in situations where the phrase has valid meaning, even if the child doesn'...


12

This kind of On and Off and shouting behaviour can be permanently damaging, while I cannot make 28 years old understand how stupid behaviour of his is making my son uncomfortable. How can I teach my son not to get carried away with anyone to expect dad and mom? I'm sorry, but this is backwards. It's far easier to get an adult to clearly state and ...


10

How do I express my feelings towards him being gay without actually hurting his feelings. Calmly, of course. After some deep thought about what your feelings really are. Because we sure don't know what your feelings are. On the other hand... Frame Challenge There's no mandate which says that you must express your feelings about his "gayness" to him any ...


9

This is a difficult situation you're in. At 16 it is reasonable to be allowed a certain degree of independence, and sometimes it can be very difficult for parents to give you that independence. 1) Compromise The best place to start is to look for an area of compromise. You need to get out the house, so if you can think of a hobby or volunteer opportunity ...


9

I'll start with this: I don't think your child did anything particularly wrong here. Age matters, and six years old is not an age where there are (or should be) grades in any meaningful sense. You don't mention the country, so it's possible your culture/country is different from mine in this regard (US), but for the most part in the US you don't have "...


9

As others remarked, the riots are puzzling to us adults as well — that's the reason you are asking. We are struggling to explain it not because there is a truth so terrible that it is unsuited for children; it's rather that it seems morally wrong and not conducive to the eventual goal of achieving racial justice. So why are people rioting and looting ...


8

I can try to make it less abstract by addressing the specific example that you've mentioned to try to help you move from "abstract" to "applied" in this instance. It could give you a good basis for applying the abstract to other situations in the future. My kids are the same as yours (as are everyone else's): none of them can make a miniature carving and ...


8

The answer is incredibly simple: You ask their parents. Period. You're not their parent, so you don't need to get into complex discussions or judge their ability to participate in those discussions. Besides, why stress-out about it. If you're worried the question will arise, simple ask their mum or dad how they want the question answered. And another ...


8

Your comment that prior to the lockdown your child did enjoy these calls suggests to me that this is a reaction to the social distancing. Think of it, if you will, as seeing them on a screen being too painful a reminder of what she's missing out on, or as her rejecting a perceived attempt to substitute physical closeness with a video chat. I might be wrong ...


7

It sounds like you haven't had any conversation yet, so instead of letting your pent up frustration take over I'd take it slow and start with talking to him man to man directly. Doing this in private is better, as Pascal noted. You should also have something nice to say about him or to share with him so that it becomes a moment of respect and bonding ...


7

First off, we've tried to establish how you feel about this issue, and we're grappling with the clues we have. Note that this is a forum that draws people from all over the world, and this is an issue where many cultures are heavily opinionated. So a big reservation that any response may be off the mark here, because we can't tell from your being "...


6

I would suggest that every time you hear her say "I don't love you" or "I hate you", you just translate it in your head to "I am angry at you". Because, essentially, that's exactly what it is. You know she does like you, and she loves you and needs you. She is just misusing the words. If you gently correct her and give her the correct words ("It sounds ...


6

Perhaps you could set up a play-date with a friend or friends of a similar age and they could all paint miniatures? (In addition to snacks, TV or whatever is fun at that age group) Even if his friends never enjoy painting enough to repeat the experience, he would have had an age-and-experience peer to compare himself against. You are his dad and his role ...


6

My parents were fairly strict, although not quite as strict as you've described. I wasn't allowed to date at all until I was 16, and then only group dates. I had a strict curfew, and they always had to know who I was with, where I was going, and when I would be back. If any of those plans changed, I had to call first. I was expected to reserve Sundays all ...


6

I offer up this answer with some reluctance, because having read Stacey's answer, I think hers goes in the same direction, but is much better. But since I wrote it, I guess I can as well share it. Please don't say "that I have to live with it" I'm sorry, but I think you will have to. Your options are severely limited. Once you reach the age of majority,...


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