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122

"I always taught him not to care what other people think..." Then congratulations! You have achieved one of your parenting goals. It's a pretty good goal, and will often stand him in good stead in resisting peer pressure, advertising and the allure of material things, etc. I understand you are embarrassed, but in your place, I would ask myself why I was ...


70

This sounds like a 'perfect rebellion' to me. Your teen is very nearly an adult and could be making other choices that really could be much worse than holey shoes. Part of the growing up process is rebelling and opposing parental views. You are 'not cool'. It is not your job to be cool! Continue to complain bitterly and perhaps insist on 'proper' footwear ...


35

The words "efficient" and "toddler" don't really go together. Mostly, you just have to accept that things like getting dressed will take a lot longer while they are learning, and plan time in your schedule for it*. There are a few tricks that can make it a little easier, though. Have one parent hold the child still and assist while the other does the ...


33

Why are so many people failing to consider the peer pressure and the cultural aspects here and basically advising the mother to make her son the odd one out? Notice the skater teens in your own town around you. OP, If you're going to a fancy place or a family gathering explain to him adult to adult that you'd love for him to wear something appropriate for ...


21

I can't say much for "why to look a little more put together in school or in public" exactly because I think if he takes advise from other skaters he may find that you don't need to destroy your shoe while skating. I used to skate when I was much much younger and I remember the total destruction of my shoe. If he's like most skaters, it's usually only one ...


20

Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission? If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment? It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young ...


18

Certainly people lived and existed before clothes were invented, so to some extent one could claim we don't "need" clothes. However clothes, especially for tiny babies, serve purposes other than warmth: absorbency. Babies don't just leak from the diaper area: they drool, spit up, and just like us, they sweat. Most baby-specific clothes are very absorbent ...


18

Being naked is fun...for children. It can be very freeing. However, I understand your concern. I think most children go through some period of this desire (my children often want to sleep naked). There is nothing wrong with a child being naked but this must have limits. I taught my children about private areas very early and I would insist that your ...


17

My rule of thumb is simple: My children are free to make informed decisions about themselves that will not cause extended suffering or a trip to the ER/doctor or worse. So, if it's freezing outside, I won't allow them to risk frostbite. If we're going to be out for a while, I won't allow them to risk hypothermia. If we're going to the car, then into a ...


16

He has learned that if he doesn't get dressed he gets rewarded with candy. One thing I've learned is never to reward children for doing something basic that they should be doing anyway, otherwise they will expect a reward every time they do it. So: Give lots of extra time to get kids dressed. When planning I always leave 20 minutes for that with my 3 year ...


13

It is perfectly normal - in our garden in the summer my kids were still running round naked at 6 or 7 years old, but by that age they have enough personal modesty that they put clothes back on if we have visitors. At 1 1/2, they just don't have that sense of modesty so you have to find a way of being their modesty filter for them, without making them feel ...


13

Whether it causes resentment or not depends on how much say the child has in the matter. Kids often borrow their older sibling's clothing on their own. A lot of handing down happens even without parental intervention, as one child starts to grow out of something, they are more and more willing to lend it to their younger sibling, until it ends up de facto ...


12

As an adult who rarely wear socks without shoes I'd say either leave him and at three he'll let you know if it bothers him even if it's indirectly. So long as his body temperature is fine then there's unlikely to be any cause for concern.


11

With that background, is getting her into some kind of therapy or at least in contact with a school counsellor an option? OR get someone to help the family in the household? Perhaps even both. I am asking because with the background you describe, her looks really seem just a symptom! She is 13. Her mother is very ill. Her father is barely keeping things ...


11

If there is really a hole through the bottom, give him a logical reason like you could step on a nail or bee. Otherwise, be glad he isn't asking for new $200 shoes constantly. Kids in my area damage their shoes on purpose so their parents will buy them new shoes sooner.


10

Be sure that you are certain about what the common factor is. It might appear to be the long vs. short but it might also be a texture thing. For a while my son would refuse to wear anything but soft clothing most of which were long like sweat pants and warm long sleeved shirts. I have to disagree with what Rory said though. I reserve such draconian measures ...


10

Is this okay? She has been telling me that it's not "normal" or "legit" for her to pay for all of her own clothes... From what you have written, it sounds as though the only major expense you're not assuming is that of clothing. What you are providing is fine, and what you're requiring her to pay for is also fine, I think, though I was a bit more lenient. ...


10

As someone who used to skate (though not very well), the more torn up your shoes, especially the dominant foot, the more you skate. It was kind of like a badge of honor. The same reason a football player wears a Letterman jacket, which I'm guessing most parents would rather see their children wearing than trashed sneakers. The trashed shoes are a way to ...


9

The reasoning behind the wrapping is that the birth is quite an environmental change to the baby: You're safe in a nice and warm and soft womb, but suddenly this is replaced by light and air and space and hands and surfaces. Wrapping the baby gives some comfort (although not all babies like being wrapped, they enjoy their newly-won freedom). If you're in a ...


9

It's super common for parents and children to disagree about what a child will need to be wearing in the immediate future (eg, when we get outside.) Anyone who lives in a place with a cold winter has had this argument about coats, hats, gloves, scarves, boots and so on. My approach: say once that I think you should wear this. Take your word for it when say ...


9

But, he's been asked to be the ring bearer in my cousin's wedding. If we accept, the event is going to require a suit. No, it shouldn't be if you accept, it should be if he accepts. If you haven't, then do tell him about the occasion and then do tell him in detail what exactly is he going to do there. Tell him that he can't back out if he says yes once. ...


9

Permanent marker If you use permanent markers like Sharpie brand, particularly fine point ones, they usually don't come off in the wash. The school my son goes to uses them to mark their house clothes if kids get their clothes dirty without any extras at school. You can write on the care tags if your clothes have them or you can write them in a hem where ...


9

Give your daughter a scenario where she is provided a great opportunity to study at an internship with a major player in the career path she is interested in. The internship may require a specific dress code ranging from anything goes to extremely formal. Either way, in order to maintain the required parameters of the internship, she is required to wear a ...


8

Although it is perfectly normal, if it continues and spreads to other tactile issues, I would watch it closely. There are some issues, such as ASD that can be indicated by tactile issues. I think we all have things that we don't like touching - sticky, dirty, itchy, etc. but if there is an excessive amount of issues like that in addition to wanting to be ...


8

We did buy special soap for our first child (it is very expensive) but by the time the third and fourth came around we didn't have time to wash their clothes separately and we found it completely unnecessary. I would use regular soap (without perfumes) and see what happens. If your child seems to be having a reaction (rash) then speak to the Doctor about ...


8

I agree that it can be a bother to close a onesie all the way down and find one snap left over. But it's no different than when I button up my shirt (except I wiggle less). I can think of a number of reasons why snaps are used so often: they're not a zipper. The end of a zipper can be pointy which can irritate, and the zipper itself can add just enough ...


8

In my experience, we had stages roughly like this: 12 months: Put arms through sleeves. Prior to this I began by puting shirt over neck, then positioned the hand in the arm hole, and then getting him to move his arm through the sleeve. That moved into him finding the arm holes mostly on his own by 12-15 months. That's probably the single biggest time ...


8

You're focusing on the merits of planning to do laundry more frequently. He is almost certainly already aware of them. What's most likely going on is a prospective memory failure. I have the same problem, but didn't have a name for it until a few years ago. It's very difficult to understand for people with normal prospective memory. Essentially, he ...


8

While you are asking for suggestions re: how your daughter can express herself with the limitations of being uniformed, I'd like to approach this a bit differently. My answer assumes a rigid uniform policy. I attended a Catholic high school with a very restrictive dress code: one particular blazer (blue for freshmen/sophomores, brown for juniors/seniors) or ...


8

It's entirely possible that she is uncomfortable with the changes in her body. Perhaps she would feel more confident in a sports or athletic bra? It may "hold her in place" more securly and allow her to run and play without drawing the attention of boys her age.


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