26
votes
Accepted
How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?
This sounds like a scarily accurate description of me when I was that age. So I'll give you my personal insight.
The lying is most likely a way to get you ,or anyone else, to leave him alone ,even if ...
- 3,193
15
votes
Accepted
How do chores fit in with positive discipline?
The simple answer is to "catch your child being good", i.e. reward the child from very early on when they do help, whether it's a chore or not. Starting early and identifying help (...
- 72.2k
12
votes
How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?
Motivation and punishment do not mean the same things to you as they do for your teen.
Yes, you still will have expectations for getting chores and homework done, but perhaps your interest in them ...
- 17.4k
11
votes
Accepted
Ways to earn money for 4 years old
I like the general idea of the approach, but not some of the specifics.
For example, for every tantrum she throws minus 20c
Please don't charge your child for showing emotion, even if she does it to ...
- 1,549
10
votes
Effective chore management system for large family
While I am not from a blended family, what helped my sister and I avoid fighting over chores was to have them be assigned to one of us when we were high school / college aged. For example:
Me:
Sort ...
- 480
10
votes
Accepted
How can I talk with my parents about the amount of chores they expect me to do?
I'm starting to feel like some kind of Cinderella.
You are some kind of Cinderella. I think you are being asked to do way too much.
How can I bring this up with my parents?
There are two ways to ...
- 72.2k
10
votes
Accepted
What to do when an 8-year-old is not motivated by rewards?
Rewards can actually be counterproductive. In psychology this is known as extrinsic versus intrinsic motivation. And yes, its very common. I well recall being forced to tidy my room and sit down to do ...
- 10.6k
9
votes
Can my mother charge me money for not doing what she says?
I think the question here is, do you want to be an adult?
If the answer is "yes" then you need to sit down with your mother and ask to agree some basic rules. The main points will be:
Who does ...
- 10.6k
8
votes
My kid slops through her chores or takes forever to do it. I've tried everything
Patience.
If you have patience, then your first idea should work, eventually. But it requires patience on your part to let her learn for herself.
She sounds a lot like my five year old, sometimes....
- 63.5k
7
votes
How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?
Motivation comes from three things
Autonomy
Mastery
Purpose
Autonomy is the need to control your life. You have to have the power to choose what to do or how to do it. If there are chores, let him ...
- 491
7
votes
Ways to earn money for 4 years old
What we did was a combination of 1 and 2, at that age. 3 is harder, I think, and I don't really agree with penalizing monetarily for behavior at 4 years old; it's too much out of her control still at ...
- 63.5k
5
votes
How do you get your kids to do their chores at home?
At that age, supervision is probably the right thing to do, except with very basic chores. And they may well get them only partially done before being distracted etc. Until they are older it is ...
- 26.7k
4
votes
How do you get your kids to do their chores at home?
By far, in my experience, the best way to maintain discipline in the long run is to reward good behavior, i.e. positive reinforcement!
Your end goal is to build consistency. If you manage to engage ...
- 41
4
votes
How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?
You did not mention any friends.
Is there any chance to organize a sleepover with a couple of friends or schoolmates? It would be even better if he stays at someone else's house.
He would have a ...
- 101
4
votes
Accepted
How to make my 8-year-old son repay for a broken item?
If your son know the rules in advance and understood that this was not the way to treat the device, then a consequence is fair. If you are feeling like charging him isn't the way to go, you might give ...
- 17.4k
4
votes
Effective chore management system for large family
This is a great time to break out the whiteboards (assuming you have any). A few sheets of paper with all involved parties sitting at the same table also could suffice.
Start by making a list of all ...
- 554
4
votes
Effective chore management system for large family
My parents' solution was to divide up the chores into four types:
Chores everyone works on once the relevant parent announces that that chore is being performed: sorting and folding laundry (when a ...
- 547
4
votes
Can my mother charge me money for not doing what she says?
OK, I'll bite.
Is this allowed?
Legally speaking, this probably isn't 'legal' because there is no preexisting contract stipulating fines for future events unless you agreed to these conditions ...
- 72.2k
3
votes
What to do when an 8-year-old is not motivated by rewards?
Children are very different in how their motivations work. I have two, one who is very externally motivated (i.e., what you describe above would work perfectly for him), and one who is more ...
- 63.5k
3
votes
My kid slops through her chores or takes forever to do it. I've tried everything
There is a possibility your child may have ADHD1, but they would need to see a specialist for diagnosis and help with any treatment.
A small caveat, while I am not a medical professional but I am a (...
3
votes
How do you get your kids to do their chores at home?
Don't make it look like chores!
The easiest way to make a child to do their chores is to make it a fun experience. Make the "unfun" part just a part of the bigger process of doing something fun.
...
- 389
3
votes
Ways to earn money for 4 years old
At 4 years old the big thing you want to teach is simply what money is for and how to use it. Let her experience:
Having money, including knowing how much. The idea that money comes in coins and ...
- 10.6k
3
votes
Using food to make son do chores
Generally, connecting food to other things (punishmend or praise) can cause issues that influence eating-habits that can last for all of life.
Since your boys are 15 or older, you likely will not ...
- 466
3
votes
My 9 year old son has to take a bath and bathe 4 year old step brother, is it ok?
This depends on too many details to have a direct Yes or No answer.
Can a nine year old have some responsibilities for the household, and be held accountable for those responsibilities? Absolutely. My ...
- 63.5k
3
votes
Age Appropriate Chores for 6 Year Old
WebMD lists the following as age appropriate chores:
Sort laundry
Sweep floors
Set and clear table
Help make and pack lunch
Weed and rake leaves
Keep bedroom tidy
In addition to the chores they ...
- 351
3
votes
Should i be taking care of my siblings all the time?
I'm going to present to you a few different schools of thought for this situation. I'm not sure which one is going to be most appropriate to you, perhaps a blending of them will be necessary.
You've ...
- 1,940
2
votes
Accepted
How can I positively affect my underage roommate?
I think you are beginning to see why he had problems with his family.
At this point I think you have three choices, and you need to make a clear decision about which way to go, and a commitment to ...
- 10.6k
2
votes
My kid slops through her chores or takes forever to do it. I've tried everything
The only thing I can think of past the excellent ideas you have already tried -- is timing/using a schedule.
If she knows on Sunday what the schedule looks like for the week, and her chores are ...
- 17.4k
2
votes
How to make my 8-year-old son repay for a broken item?
If he is to pay for the screen protector, don't force him by taking from his allowance. Allow him to decide what amount to give you until it's paid. Of course, within reason. Taking the money seems ...
- 51
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