New answers tagged

2

I think one key here in addition to the other great answers is to focus on whether you need the task completed now, and having different approaches based on that. Tasks that need to be completed now would be something like putting on clothes/shoes before going to school/church. You have a deadline, and it's necessary for the child to accomplish the task ...


5

Such "regressions" in behavior at this age are very common and often pass without any substantial efforts on behalf of the parents. I would start with asking yourself the question that, sadly, parents rarely ask: "Is this task even necessary?" Sometimes it turns out that the it is not. To use your example, it is sometimes not necessary ...


6

I think my first question would be: why are they refusing on this occasion? Has something changed recently? Are they scared of something? Did they get hurt on a previous occasion? Without knowing more about the task in question I can only speculate, but these are the kinds of questions to ask. (Since you mention "getting changed", I'll add that the ...


4

There isn't enough in the question to say there's a problem, for three reasons: More detail would be needed to get a better sense of how disruptive and how frequent the behaviour is, as well as how much distress or contentment is associated with it. She's pretty young and new experiences are scary. Once it's a less new experience, if the behaviour hasn't ...


0

Further to your own and @candied_orange's point as well, your son's first teachers of authority are his parents. In fact I would argue that a person's primal mental/emotional interface with authority is birthed and given dimensions within their nervous system right here. Each "no!" issued by a child's parents lays a subtle layer of acceptance of ...


0

I also want to suggest a book. The Emperor's New Clothes by H. C. Andersen. It should be easy to find an illustrated version appropriate for a 9-year old.


1

Never say, "because I told you so". When every rule comes with a why the world makes sense. When "because I said so" is the only explanation, authority is the only reason. Now this may lead to your kid standing in the middle of the street asking "why" when you tell them to get out of it. But if they live they'll have a healthy ...


5

I find the most important part of a healthy skepticism is in dealing with situations where there isn't a right answer. In the case of puzzles, your son is either right or they are wrong. There is a truth-value that can be assigned to the phrase "I am right." In this case, the person who is arguing for the right side will always win. It doesn't ...


1

There is a great book by George Orwell called "Animal Farm", I believe I read it around your son's age; I may not have picked up on all the symbolism on the first time through, but after reading it multiple times I can say it shaped my skepticism towards politicians and other figures. There are multiple times in the books where certain animals use ...


4

Take her to a trained psychologist/mental health professional. The people on this forum aren't trained to diagnose your child's mental state, and suicide threats are something that should be taken very seriously. As a result, I would strongly recommend that you take your daughter to see a trained mental health professional so that she can get the help she ...


5

How to instill scepticism towards authority, albeit in a healthy way? In order to simplify the process, we have a natural mechanism for scepticism towards authority. It is called "puberty" and generally happens by itself - as healthy as one manages. Since your son is 9y old, in 3 or 4 years you will be generally dealing with the opposite problem.


4

The lesson you're trying to teach is political, and I'd say at a rather complex level. If you wish to pass on a certain political view with regards to authorities, I think that is too complex to infer by modelling societal structures within your family. Such a model would be too crude to be able to cover the nuances of when respecting authority is vs isn't a ...


-2

Skepticism is a disbelief in something or someone. Therefore it isn't a quality you should or can teach. Skepticism of one thing only arises when an alternate path emerges that is obviously better. For instance, sheltered children often have no idea that there are any other ways of life than their parents' until they reach teenage years. If a child grows ...


15

I think the word you are looking for is "critical thinking", which I define as the inclination to always question statements of fact or authority. This is more than just mechanical contraryness, which I observe is a common substitute - critical thinking means that you always check things to your own satisfaction. A sometimes annoying (for others) ...


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