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76

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


28

From what you're writing, you don't really want him to get any hobby, but a hobby where he can socialize. If he's slightly autistic, socializing is the hardest thing for him to do. And it will be even harder if the socializing is in a context where he has nothing to talk about or isn't interested in the things people talk about. You said he likes to use ...


26

I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are possibly indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely "normal." The only real issues you ...


24

A hobby is something you like. How do you force someone to like something? Additionally, at the choice of hobbies there is an extra agenda: You want him to socialize. I think you have a good point. The time he has now, as a kid, will not come back. Social skills he could be picking up now, will be harder to learn when he realises he's missing something. ...


18

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


15

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help it. ...


14

I am not a parent so this isn't a complete answer, just a perspective from dealing with people. In any interaction between two mammals, one is reactive and the other has the power. If you want to win an argument, make the other person lose their mind with anger. It doesn't even have to be an anger reaction. Social power falls to the person the least ...


14

His classmates are rewarded by the spectacle of his tantrums as well as the group feeling of having a common target. Unless he can control the tantrums and ignore all taunts, I fear the only option is to change his environment to a more welcoming one. That may mean changing schools or getting ALL the parents to make sure their children behave.


13

I was just extremely socially awkward as a kid, not autistic, but here's what I would suggest: In Scouts (talk with the Scoutmaster and try to figure out what would be best), there are many different routes for him to take. I had my own tent that I would bring on all outings so I didn't have to share, and knot-tying was the hobby I worked on there. By ...


12

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


12

She can discern that she's different from other kids her age. She's expressing this in a way that's heartbreaking for me to even read, let alone to deal with as a parent. As hard as it is, the time has come to validate her suspicions. If she didn't need some sort of validation, she wouldn't be asking you. At the risk of sounding chiché-ish, it's time for her ...


11

I don't know what the "official" age is where one can be diagnosed with Aspergers with certainty. I'm sorry I can't answer that question for you. Regarding the second aspect of your question: assuming our suspicion doesn't fade, at which age is it worth it given that there is not much that can be done about it? My answer to that is as soon as possible. ...


10

I am not sure there is an actual "problem" here. I might be biased on the topic though because my son was only two when he asked me to stop stealing his hair (his explanation of having had his hair cut) and so I did & let him grow it. Later he wanted it cut again, then not. I don't mind one way or another as long as it's clean & taken care of, he ...


9

Even with neurotypical kids, it can be challenging to find a hobby or sport that they like well enough to stick with and really develop. Some kids find their niche right away, others have to try lots of different things to figure out what works for them and what doesn't. I think you have two choices: build off of the hobbies he does have or try to help him ...


8

Talk to the school. They should have an anti-bullying policy. Get it and insist that they apply it in this case. Write to the teachers. Identify the specific hurtful behaviours being used and insist that they are stamped on. The only way to stop this is to make it clear to the bullies that their behaviour will not be tolerated. Bullying is child abuse, no ...


8

You may have heard the expression "if you've seen one child with autism, you've seen ONE child with autism". "autism" covers such a wide range of behaviors and experiences that it's really hard to make general predictions. Furthermore, age is a big factor here with all children (and cats, for that matter), autistic or not. That said, Dalton's reasoning makes ...


8

We couldn't wait any longer. Our daughter confronted us about why we wanted her to make her take "happy pills" and that it was silly to expect someone to be happy all the time. I told her that whoever told her they were "happy pills" was very, very wrong. I then made a concrete analogy between her inattentive-ADD and her brother's colorblindness. Just like ...


7

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


7

Very difficult subject... Tackle the Problem from the Inside It's the most effective, and the point you have the most impact on. It sounds possible zen and overreaching, but the child need inner-strength, and, above all, inner-peace. It's going to be very difficult, but someone would need to help the child to be more passive about the assaults and not ...


7

I think you're saying something different than you really mean. You say "he needs a hobby" but what you mean is "he needs a different hobby". There are plenty of people without mental health issues who love nothing more than to spend their time on a computer, and plenty of people who do. It isn't a "problem" - instead, it's just another avenue that has its ...


7

What percentage of diagnosis fall into each category? Is Aspergers, PDD-NOS or Classic Autism the most common? It's not an easy question to answer. Paper after paper disputes the validity of the manner of distinction of the subtypes, and differences between the DSM-IV and the DSM-V are significant, resulting in a reclassification of a large number of ...


7

Both my daughter (16) and son (13) are high-level autistic (would have been called aspie by the old yardstick). We've had cats their entire lives. Currently we have two cats, a big black labrador, and two guinea pigs. In the past we've also had goldfish and hermit crabs. They've been very good with the pets overall. The cats certainly make a lot more sense ...


7

Your child does have some symptoms worrisome for autism, and some that are not, but he certainly should be evaluated for it. The doctors should take this seriously (I'm not sure why you think they won't. They should.) In the US, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends developmental surveillance [for autism] at every well-child visit and ...


7

No, it's not normal for an 8 month old child to have never smiled, ever. Infants smile spontaneously from birth (some people attribute this to intestinal gas. It's most likely a reflex.) But they begin to smile responsively between one to two months of age, and laugh at two to four months of age. If you mean the baby doesn't smile for a camera, that's a ...


7

If anything, it's not the diagnosis you should be concerned about, but the underlying condition and the specific problems it presents to the child. The sooner you have your son diagnosed, the better the chances that he can get help both to address his behavioral problems and to help him develop his extraordinary gifts. Many people are afraid of the mental ...


7

Try PET preforms These things get inflated like baloons to produce PET bottles we usually see. They're food-safe, transparent, pretty heavy-duty and cheap. You can order them in surplus to experiment a bit and also make some spares. Use bouncy coating Adding some soft stuff to ends will reduce damage to both bottle and terrain. You could also leave a tiny ...


7

Kids are kids and love to explore the world. Let him both dress up as a soldier and paint his nails. No big deal, most of us did. Do not look bothered / worried / overinterested whatever a kid will find to attract your attention, will do 100x Provide good male and female role models Manly behavioural role models are getting very hard to find. Be sure he ...


7

Perhaps for a time you should supervise their play. Don't let them be alone together. This way you can see the way they interact with each other. It might be that both are doing whatever is annoying your son to the point of breaking. It might be that that is what is perceived by the other child. Either way, monitor them and see how they play. If you find ...


6

I can't speak to much of your post, but I have a step-nephews (8 and 11 now) who have sensory integration issues and I want to offer what little I know that might be helpful there. It is good to make eye contact when you are speaking, but it makes your son uncomfortable. The reason you want to make eye contact is to make sure he is listening to you. You can ...


6

As DA01 mentions in his comments, autism is a gigantic spectrum. Strategies for how to deal with it vary widely - the person who could best answer this question would likely be the child's mother. It may be an uncomfortable question, but it's likely one that the child's mother is familiar with answering by now. If you're worried about coming across as ...


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