55

I'm not speaking from either personal experience (my children were all spaced farther apart) or from academic research in this answer. That being said: I think that "hiding" the breastfeeding will eventually end up making the toddler feel more isolated and excluded by her younger sibling. It will require specifically removing one sibling from another's ...


13

One way to encourage her to be a bit independent is try to engage in some less explicitly fun things together. "Well, right now Daddy needs to _____. Do you want to watch/help?" This might be: Fold some laundry. Do light yard work. Cook a meal. Tinker with the car. Write an email. Change a light bulb. Whatever stuff you do around the house that isn't ...


12

A baby's screaming to get your attention is not going to hurt her at all. What she is doing is training you with the behaviour she wants: she screams -> you play with her What you can do is talk to her. At this point it doesn't matter that she can't understand everything you say, but giving a response along the lines of: Just a moment - I'll finish ...


10

It's not feasible to try to prevent the child from seeing the new baby nursing. It probably will be hard for her, as will lots of things now, but she will learn to adjust. You'll both just need to be extra mindful to give the other children lots of hugs, and lots of attention, whenever you can.


9

A child of six months really does need a lot of attention. Too little would be of far more concern than any possible damage she could do to herself through screamig (not likely, as established by others already). Giving a child of this age enough attention while still having some: time for yourself, Time to get regular household chores done Time for ...


8

I've taught eighth grade (13-14 year-old kids) algebra for 28 years. The kids who arrive at middle school not knowing their basic multiplication facts are very unlikely to succeed in math in high school. Those facts are fundamental to everything from multiplication to division to fractions to factoring polynomials. They don't really understand any of these ...


8

Honestly, to me this sounds like normal sibling behavior, extroverted or not. My family was all medium introverts (at different levels), and we did things like this pretty commonly - trying to get into the others' room when the other wanted us out. Some of it was simply a power game I think - being able to force your way into their room literally showed ...


8

You mention that you are always available and willing to hang out with her and play with her when she's around; are the other adults putting forth the same effort? Kids are small humans, after all, and one thing most humans have in common is that we like to be with the people who like to be with us. For the jealous adults, try to pull them into the next ...


8

I've found myself in very similar situations with my 4 year old son. He's also fascinated by electronics, and anything mechanical. We'll start projects together, but invariably after a while I'm working on it on my own, and he's gone off to play some other game. I've concluded that it's not particularly helpful at that age to try to hold their attention ...


8

First and foremost, make sure your child's hearing is tested. If there's a problem, deal with that. Your baby/14 month old sounds like a normal, active 14 month old. She wants what she wants. She can't delay gratification (like you can) and be still while being taught. She can't control most of her impulses, and exploring (every part of the room) is one of ...


8

I have experienced something similar to your son (although a lot milder I suspect), however I am a professional software engineer and in my very limited free time I make games. Something I've always struggled with is having a fixed intelligence mentality. I was intelligent enough to breeze through most of secondary school, and was expected to get top marks ...


7

I know a number of parents with AD(H)D children, including myself. Some of our children are medicated, some aren't. Indeed, at such a young age it's highly unusual for medication to be recommended -- instead, there are a variety of suggestions for behavioral interventions. I've found that those suggestion are useful for neurotypical children, too. Any child ...


7

While I am not terribly extroverted myself, I have had to deal with a number of children (and some adults) like this. As far as your first question goes, I really don't know. The extroverts like this that I have dealt with seem like it is just part of being an extrovert and that it isn't tied to being a certain age. Don't take that to mean he won't grow ...


7

You might try incentives. Set a schedule and use a loud timer to mark the milestones. "Timer's running...five minutes til teeth have to be brushed." Timer goes off, are teeth brushed? If so, one milestone reached. "Timer is on again, ten minutes to eat your breakfast..." You will be helping the younger two reach their milestones, true, but that's not ...


7

First: this is not an uncommon problem, and your school district should be comfortable with helping kids deal with this. I would expect that your teacher in first grade should've addressed some of this with you already, but perhaps this isn't such a big problem so far. One successful approach they've used at my son's school is to use "wiggle chairs", which ...


6

I think the introvert/extrovert difference is a red herring in this case (and I say that as an introvert myself). Instead, I think the difficulties you are running into are from two issues which are unrelated to extroversion: Following Rules The responsible authorities (his parents) have made a rule: No entering siblings' rooms without permission. That ...


6

It is possible that your son is gifted in math. You may want to discuss this with his preschool teacher. If that's the case, it is an ability that can be developed to the child's advantage, rather than treated as a problem. Note that gifted kids are often bored by tasks that do not challenge their abilities. So when your son is diverting his attention, the ...


5

I've seen quite a few articles the last few years like this one that promote the importance of letting your kids have unstructured time, or in other words, to get bored. A lot of our generation worry about quality time so much that they sometimes swing the pendulum too far the other way. A certain balance is important. It's okay for her to be sad about ...


5

I had the same problem and with a similar age grouping ( 9, 5 and 3). I more or less solved the problem by tackling two different issues. The first one is the child's focus. In my case, making my older aware of the fact that with age comes responsibility, and that as the older brother he has to help us with his siblings. With the understanding that greater ...


5

Snipping and bending wires is a fun game in and of itself. :) If you want to find projects where he can actually build and modify simple electronics himself (with some help from you), your best bet may be to move toward materials that are easier for little hands and short attention spans. There are lots of options for playing with circuits that don't ...


5

I want to make sure he has the chance to gain some independence This is ultimately what he's trying to accomplish when refusing to eat: assert his independence. Food is one of the few things that young children have control over, and refusing to eat a provided snack or meal is a legitimate way to express that they're an individual with their own preferences ...


5

It often helps in any difficult situation to take some time to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Should I react and say to the other-child to step off because it's disturbing our conversation? Should I rely on what teacher does? What if in my opinion the teacher does not handle that situation properly? I think telling the teacher how to handle ...


4

One thing I've always done is talk to my kids like they're just another person. I don't talk cute or baby, I talk words and I have appropriate expectation that they can deal with what I say. This is a situation that is not only about who's runnin the joint -- @RoryAlsop's point -- but also about general interaction with a baby. "What are you crazy? You ...


4

As a child (2nd-3rd grade), I had similar issues (was a huge procrastinator and would often avoid doing my homework however I could even though it was easy and could be done quickly). The solution my parents came to was a reward program. Basically, my parents printed off from the computer fake money (they called it "Michael Dollars" - as that's my name). ...


4

Well, since no one has given this answer yet, I will propose it. My dog (the licker) knows the command no licking! She loves to lick (not obnoxiously, but if I even just compliment her, she wants to lick my hand. She also indicates her desire to play, eat, or go outside with hand licks [plus body language]. And other unknown stuff.) Not liking too much ...


4

Personal experience, single data point only: Our son was a big fan of breastfeeding and the milk and the comfort of being on mom. He was weaned while we were expecting his little sister. (He was close to 2 years old.) I expected trouble when the newborn started nursing. (But I never imagined trying to keep it secret/separate.) He complained/screamed and ...


4

Our 4 year old has been doing something similar for the last year and is gradually getting better. Some suggestions that we have tried that seem to work: Have him help making the dinner. This works 99% of the time with us, if our little boy makes the dinner he will usually eat it. Especially if he's chosen some of the things he's cooking. A star chart, if ...


4

You describe a very problematic situation, not only because it is frustrating for your son and yourself, but because he is at risk of learning that wholesome success is unattainable for him (despite him desiring it). Game-development seems highly unsuitable as goal here; in fact, it may be one of the worst potential goals I can think of. Any kind of software ...


3

Agreeing with David, Limit all screen time Possibly easier to go without any screen time for a couple weeks. We've similarly seen night and day differences in our kids.


3

How do you bring a child into the world without your world being consumed by their needs? Give them a sibling so they have each other! Get them a dog! (Just kidding.) The answer is, you don't. Parenting is a full time job, and the time you put in now will pay you back when she becomes a strong, independent functional societal unit and still loves and ...


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